Rottweiler22:
I had a funny one the other day, for a job with a frozen foods chain. The online form only asked for name, contact details, licence category, and distance from depot. I filled it out, clicked the top button for over 20 miles from the depot, and pressed continue. The next page said that I hadn’t met the criteria, so I couldn’t proceed with the application.
Humans only I’m afraid, Rottweilers not allowed for insurance purposes.
Please can you link us I am pretty intrigued and would love to do this questionnaire 
Also you don’t want full time with them, they only pay just over £10 an hour! Stick to agency lol.
ash 001:
Please can you link us I am pretty intrigued and would love to do this questionnaire
Here ya go bellend! 
tesco-careers.com/JobDetails … ign=Indeed
I’ll have a go this evening…
Hate having to do stuff like that online. Give me a phone number any day.
In for an exciting night tonight then, B? 
Goldilox:
Hate having to do stuff like that online. Give me a phone number any day.In for an exciting night tonight then, B?
Oh yeah, and for kicks I may even fill out an ES application! 
What about desserts? Might as well make it a 3 course feast!
Goldilox:
What about desserts? Might as well make it a 3 course feast!
Well there are so many DHL contracts to choose from, but I don’t like cheese!
I have many thoughts on DHL, but I’ll keep them to myself lol
Evil8Beezle:
Goldilox:
What about desserts? Might as well make it a 3 course feast!Well there are so many DHL contracts to choose from, but I don’t like cheese!
You love DHL, you have shares in them don’t you?
I don’t get the joke with DHL, sorry 
Must be to do with the belly on my snake.
Goldilox:
I don’t get the joke with DHL, sorry
Pretty much, and you are not the only one who doesn’t get the joke with DHL, some here even work for them! 
Dimwits
Helmets
Limpers
■■
Drop it
Hide it
Lose it
£11.50 to 15 on the agency so I reckon more for perm immaterial really can’t do it again for six months and I def ain’t gonna hang on for that
I filled out the beautiful questionnaire and guess what I FAILED lol. I really don’t know what they want?!
Thank ■■■■ it’s not only me , what the hell there looking for I don’t know, but ive got a theory ,apparently they offer perm jobs to “” good agency drivers"" first so I reckon there making it double difficult for mere mortals to get in
jeffeddie:
£11.50 to 15 on the agency so I reckon more for perm immaterial really can’t do it again for six months and I def ain’t gonna hang on for that
I promise you their basic wage full time is 10.50 something, as I knew someone that used to drive for them! Agency pay more then that so not even worth going full time! Nah not just you mate, god knows what they want as I used to drive 3.5t for them so know how they work but apparently I still cant pass the questionnaire lol
ash 001:
jeffeddie:
£11.50 to 15 on the agency so I reckon more for perm immaterial really can’t do it again for six months and I def ain’t gonna hang on for thatI promise you their basic wage full time is 10.50 something, as I knew someone that used to drive for them! Agency pay more then that so not even worth going full time! Nah not just you mate, god knows what they want as I used to drive 3.5t for them so know how they work but apparently I still cant pass the questionnaire lol
So you didn’t get to the 3rd of 5 steps, the Right to Work part?
It looks like I’ve passed the test questions for a job i don’t want!
And over 100 miles from where I live…
So my tips on anyone wanting to apply for the job and passing the test are this:
Delegate all decisions up the chain to the management, do not deviate from the plan you have been instructed to follow, and obey without question all Health and Safety training. Don’t try and be a helpful free thinking employee looking to get on with the job, just be a brainless chimp who does EXACTLY what you have instructed/programmed to do!
Hope that helps people!
[
So my tips on anyone wanting to apply for the job and passing the test are this:
Delegate all decisions up the chain to the management, do not deviate from the plan you have been instructed to follow, and obey without question all Health and Safety training. Don’t try and be a helpful free thinking employee looking to get on with the job, just be a brainless chimp who does EXACTLY what you have instructed/programmed to do!
+1
that sums it up exactly.
I worked agency there for a Cpl years to see if I could wean myself out of my hooligan tactics,and that’s exactly how they operate.the blind leads the blind in there and it is an utterly soul destroying demeaning insult to your intelligence way of operating.after a while you go to work similar to homer heading to mr burns power plant…do exactly as instructed on the risk assessment,do not thin for yourself,do not offer advice and work exactly to rule.take as long as possible to do as little as possible and be as obstructive to a normal days work as you possibly can.the 1st thing taught on the induction was…its never your fault if your late for a delivery,do not speed,do not pull in to let others pass.jobsworths,plobbing lemmings.total brain dead way of life.abandon all hope,all ye who enter.
though to be fair…its not the 1st time someone over here who has been asked to fill in the questionnaire has went to the front gate,and assaulted the doorman 
Now I get it , they just want a drone , I was trying to answer them thinking what I would do and that’s obviously not what tesco wants
