Is there an ancient law that says anyone can stick a battered portacabin in a field beside the A12 and call it a cafe?
Essex is a law unto itself.
PARKED UP FOR a 30 in layby a1 south of newark guy comes running out of his blue cabin and tells me i gotta turn my fridge off as it will upset his customers cue the words f off curtains drawn goodnight 
Ha ha, pulled into a layby near Scotch Corner last week, I was well hungry and had spent a good half hour driving picturing a big, juicy cheese burger, before pulling into this layby for a perfect feed. The caravan was facing away from the road, towards the field. I got out the truck, locked it up, walked to the caravan.
Right big fat scruffy bassart was behind the counter, reebok trakkies, grey (once black) ACDC tee shirt full of holes, belly hanging out SMOKING A TAB. He says ‘what can I get you’?
I could only answer with "I’m not as hungry as I thought I was’, got back in the truck and headed back to the yard, starving.
RIPPER:
chester1:
RIPPER:
Try telling that to all the “Skat-Always on Time” guys that are there every weekend…or the RTS german fridge guys…or some of the irish guys that park there…i could go onThe differance is that thay are away from home kipping in said motors leagaly. wher you are not . If your boss wishes to base a motor in another area every weekend mabey he shud think about renting you some place to park im sure mr yates will accomodate your tuck for a fee you are lucky the t van dont give vosa the nod out of spite
I used to work for Nedexco, Visbeen and Tunderman and parked there “legally” as you say…just because i now work for an English firm you want to make it illegal■■?
you actually parked up then? 
cieranc:
I could only answer with "I’m not as hungry as I thought I was’, got back in the truck and headed back to the yard, starving.
I would have headed back to the yard hungry and went to Bowlams for my breakfast.
I need an hours kip after eating a dinner from there!!!
Can’t eat in there, takes me an hour to eat one of their meals. Only get 30 mins for dinner.
Their plates are the size of manhole covers, could get 3 normal meals out one of theirs. Buzzer!
waddy640:
Essex is a law unto itself.
The tea vans really do look rough along that stretch of road and that’s saying something from someone who passes “the Rat van”, “Fat Ladies” and “Colonel Gaddafis” on the A40 near Oxford. The A12 ones look like old building site offices that were dumped in a layby/field and some E-coli merchant decided to pitch up.
I was working on a muckshift yesterday, tipping at Lechlade and I stopped with the subbies working for us at “Bull ■■■■ Brians” tea van at breaktime; I stood near said vendors’ van with my own tea and food, just to wind him up. 
I am fussy about where I eat, could have something to do with being in catering in a previous life.
A question I ask myself when passing one of these facilities is, where do they go to answer the call of nature, especially the female variety? and do they wash their hands when they have finished?
Lucy:
It’s not down to wheel revolutions, it just doesn’t register anything under 5 seconds driving…So long as you don’t knock it into recording you only need to wait a second or so between moves to make another. Handy in dock queues, that…And, as has been said above, for shutting doors…
isnt that running bent 
Bugger butty vans,dicovered golden wonder normous noodle just plug me kettle in and jobs a goodn,fills ya up and yer not desperate for the bogg an hour later.
Here we ■■■■■■■ go.
waddy640:
Essex is a law unto itself.
Hahaha totally agree!! Poxy place
waddy640:
Essex is a law unto itself.
Hahaha totally agree!! Poxy place
never yet had a lay-by encounter of the arsy kind but we had a driver down in bristol doing a delivery,i was in the office back at our yard in ilkeston waiting to find out where i was going that day when the phone rang,our TM answered it only to discover it was a woman in bristol asking if the company could ring their driver and ask him to move as she couldnt get out/in… 
what a stupid person that was,instead of asking the driver to move she rings the number on the side of the truck…
to be honest if im going to have a break in a layby I try to miss one that I know has a van there as yes it does take up space and can loose them business but if it cant be helped then yes I do park in them but chances are ill go in and have a chat and a brew. Always have a good old natter with the little old lady at Stratford st mary on the A12 towards ipswich and have a right laugh with her. not all vans are toss pots… 
green456:
Lucy:
It’s not down to wheel revolutions, it just doesn’t register anything under 5 seconds driving…So long as you don’t knock it into recording you only need to wait a second or so between moves to make another. Handy in dock queues, that…And, as has been said above, for shutting doors…isnt that running bent
Nope. No fiddling involved. It records what it records. If it chooses not to record, I can’t force it.
Muckaway:
A little while ago, one of our 4wheelers broke a spring in Burford and stopped in the layby near the school to wait for a fitter to attend; This layby has a kebab van in it that serves elephant meat for breakfast, and said suntanned vendor had a go at our driver for parking there and not buying anything (I also got moaned at a few years back for doing the same thing.) Has anyone else experienced something similar with these disease merchants when they haven’t bought anything? I’ve had evil looks off others in Oxfordshire and wondered if it was limited to just around here?
Simple solution, buy something. Then throw it away if you don’t like it.
Weve got a good butty van at work, right next to the building and one of our artics sits behind where she parks her van, always knows it will be moved if its in the way but it never is.
shes also pretty ■■■■ good at coocking. not grease ridden {zb} cant say ive ever got anything grease ridden from her actually
I know this post isnt about where the good cattering vans are but i thought i might mention the van just of the A1 at Stamford on the road to Corby, Good food and a decent friendly (trucker friendly) chap.And he does look out for truckers only the other week stopping some travellers nicking fuel.