I saw Woodpecker1’s yearly wages but it wasn’t enough to make me pull over.
Years ago (you’ll know how many when you know what car was involved) I was on the M4, pulled into Heston services, as I got out of the motor I could hear a commotion on the road, so went over to the embankment for a shufti. On the shoulder was a big old Humber Hawk. a few yards back, laying in the outside lane was a roof rack complete with a double iron bedstead and mattress still firmly attached to it. Two guys were hopping from one foot to the other on the shoulder trying to get between the traffic to pick the thing up. The commotion I’d heard was all the horn blowing and tyre squealing of vehicles avoiding the bed, and the two pillocks trying to get to it. They did in the end, tried to fit it back on but couldn’t, so perched it on the roof and drove off very slowly one arm reaching out of each window holding it on! Talking of roof racks, another time I saw one on the verge on the A1 with a 10ft fibreglass dinghy firmly strapped to it, no evidence of a car to go with it, driver must have got a surprise when he got home and went to get the boat off. I did stop to see if it was worth rescuing but the impact had cracked it, I’ve picked up a few spanners, ratchet straps and stuff over the years though.
Bernard
All the odd shoes you see on the hard shoulder come to us from a parallel universe and those folks have no idea where they have gone. Our contribution to them … socks, . Now you know. Somewhere in a parallel universe people are wondering why odd socks appear in the hard shoulder.
oldhippyandy:
All the odd shoes you see on the hard shoulder come to us from a parallel universe and those folks have no idea where they have gone. Our contribution to them … socks, . Now you know. Somewhere in a parallel universe people are wondering why odd socks appear in the hard shoulder.
oldhippyandy:
All the odd shoes you see on the hard shoulder come to us from a parallel universe and those folks have no idea where they have gone. Our contribution to them … socks, . Now you know. Somewhere in a parallel universe people are wondering why odd socks appear in the hard shoulder.
What about pairs of shoes, perfectly tied together and found dangling from high voltage cables?
Saw a pheasant sat in lane 1 on the m6 last week, wouldn’t move, just stood there while all the cars in lane 1 swerved across the hard shoulder and lane 2. Stupid bird!
About a month ago I was going down m40 and saw some pillock on a push bike being nicked on the hard shoulder.
Today there were a couple of baby deer sat on the grass next to the hard shoulder on m40, grazing away like we weren’t even there.
mrginge:
I saw Woodpecker1’s yearly wages but it wasn’t enough to make me pull over.
Say a fox sleeping on hard shoulder
htmldude:
I once hit a cone.
Bloody racist!
James the cat:
htmldude:
I once hit a cone.Bloody racist!
I am so sorry. I didn’t have my readers on
Mikey D:
Many many ratchets / straps , wish I could stop and pick them up add to my collection of useful short straps
Something in this doesn’t make sense.
Eastern European truckers taking their daily/weekly rest. 
htmldude:
Mikey D:
Many many ratchets / straps , wish I could stop and pick them up add to my collection of useful short strapsSomething in this doesn’t make sense.
■■■■■■■.
Strap the Prostitute down before playing with the Ball Peen Hammer !
A good few years back, I was in some very slow moving traffic on the M4. I came across a car on the HS with the near side doors open and the outline of a womans head over the window sill height, then just pfeeping from underneath, two peachy arse cheeks quivering as she curled one out
There’s a wooden cross next to the verge between J8a and 9 of the M40. It’s a memorial to someone killed walking on the hardshoulder, but how did someone get permission to stop and put it there? A bit stupid, really.
Muckaway:
It amazes me how many people break down on the motorway in modern cars. Is it down to people not doing basic checks, or people thrashing company cars?
The number of people running out of fuel is ridiculous too.
think a lot of the "breakdowns " are actualy punctures with this new fangled idea of no spare you have a puncture on the motorway by the time youve made the hard shoulder and stopped the tyres ■■■■■■ and no amount of fancy foam in a can is gonna get you going again . that and to many are to lazy/inept to even attempt to change one nowadays
HTML dude and mr Viking , useful short straps you asked well , for what ever reason new straps bought at our place always seem to be 10 metres long ( prob cos we do a lot of wide prefab buildings etc )
So I have a part time hobby of collecting frayed straps and cutting them down to make the ever so usefull short ones 
like for securing cabins from the legs as your not supposed to throw them over the roof to secure with some cabins ,
No doubt someone will pipe up with there’s no test certificate they have been weakened etc …
I’d imagine they would be OK for a ■■■■■■■ session too 
Waberer’s truck .