I left Gretna heading south at 4am today and just past Carlisle there was a plastic oar laying on the hardshoulder,down by Penrith there was a battered yellow canoe up the bank and down by Lancaster a white mountain bike in the grass,I hope they all didn’t belong to the same person,but all the way down the M6 there’s bits and pieces a couple of ladders,a builders tape measure,the remains of a roof rack a few wheels still attached to the hub,plenty of shoes and down by Stafford a baby seat.
When the M25 was being widened near Heathrow I saw 2 road workers kicking the living ■■■■ out of one another. Don’t see that too often 
Ratchet straps in the live lanes due to lazy and bone idle drivers that can’t be assed to tighten them every so often.
I ring 999 who then get the Highways Agency to pick them up, if a motorcyclist drives over one, it could be fatal, cars swerving to avoid it, could end up in an accident.
Tell them the blue marker reference sign number for an accurate location .
I have seen sleeping bags, bikes, roof carrier
pods, planks of wood, rolls of insulating materials, all fallen off vans and lorries .
Plastic oar you say, is that your definition of a blow up doll ? 
raymundo:
Plastic oar you say, is that your definition of a blow up doll ?
Saw a pheasant trying to cross the A1M near Peterborough. Must have evolved from the usual ones as it didn’t run/ try fly over
Usually a family of Pakistanis stood next to a broken down wreck of a car.
2 DVSA people carriers laying in wait for victims
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I once seen a man standing on the roof of his car on the hard shoulder somewhere down the M1. It was a long time ago and it has always stuck in my mind, newish expensive looking saloon car, well dressed man in his 50s, standing akimbo with his head bowed, bang in the centre of his cars roof. could have been 20 years ago, but has always been a puzzle to me.
Saw a police car last night but then it might have been nicked and abandoned 
shoes !! theyre everywhere . how the flip do you lose a shoe on the motorway ■■ 
syramax:
shoes !! theyre everywhere . how the flip do you lose a shoe on the motorway ■■
We had a driver on a firm I worked for never wore shoes etc in the truck.
Came back from a night out put his cab footwear on and left his shoes on the tank, nice expensive soft leather.
Half way round the M27 
they were divorced 1 gone and 1 down the back of the tank I think he paid £60 odd quid for em
syramax:
shoes !! theyre everywhere . how the flip do you lose a shoe on the motorway ■■
Lol thats always made me wonder , came to the conclusion of a jilted relationship or someone been caught out , my only conclusion lol.
I seen an old london bus on m74 hard shoulder last week .
A bemused couple staring at their empty roof rack
Half a mile back two cars stuck in the 3rd lane one having ran into the missing suitcase 
and the other having rear ended him
Electricians van , aluminium step ladder in near side lane now slightly bent and buckled 
1995 Datsun cherry complete with 4 generations of Asian family
Many many ratchets / straps , wish I could stop and pick them up add to my collection of useful short straps 
nick2008:
Saw a police car last night but then it might have been nicked and abandoned
No you didn’t, I don’t believe you. [emoji57]
Last time there were Police Cars on the Motorway they were Cortina’s.
syramax:
shoes !! theyre everywhere . how the flip do you lose a shoe on the motorway ■■
My missus, last summer, was with me in the truck for the day.
We were on the highway and there was what seemed like, a small bird sized wasp in the cab.
She had a new pair of $100 trainers on and decided to use one to kill it.
After a few minutes swinging the trainer she got it on her window sill, half dead, opened her window and it tried to fly again.
I’m doing 120kph and when she swung her arm out the window, the wind took her trainer into the embankment.
I couldn’t stop, so after work, we went back in the car and after 3 times driving that stretch slowly down the shoulder, we found it.
neilg14:
syramax:
shoes !! theyre everywhere . how the flip do you lose a shoe on the motorway ■■My missus, last summer, was with me in the truck for the day.
We were on the highway and there was what seemed like, a small bird sized wasp in the cab.
She had a new pair of $100 trainers on and decided to use one to kill it.
After a few minutes swinging the trainer she got it on her window sill, half dead, opened her window and it tried to fly again.
I’m doing 120kph and when she swung her arm out the window, the wind took her trainer into the embankment.
I couldn’t stop, so after work, we went back in the car and after 3 times driving that stretch slowly down the shoulder, we found it.
You could have saved yourself some money and cut her foot off!! Only saying lol
The tank on the M5 (not quite on the hard shoulder but pointing to the road).