If you look at the tarmac on the island off junction 2 of the m5 there’s actually a ratchet strap embedded in the tarmac flush with the road… Give my gaffer half a chance he will try and retrieve it and use it [SMILING FACE WITH OPEN MOUTH AND SMILING EYES]
Running SB on th A1 past Blyth services early one Saturday morning down to Ranby prison, I near the butty hut, when in the distance I see the flash of hazard lights in the layby, then in the beam for the headlights i see a guy walking up the side of the road towards me waving his hands to warn me, when (too late 
) I see a load of fishing tackle laid in the road, which unfortunately the wheels of the 18T rigid rolls over it all.
Another time I was EB on the M62 near the little house, when I spot a car on the HS and a woman 10yrd in the field stood with her skirt up around her waist, knickers down, BA barackas lady hair cut on show, and arms waving frantically “winston churchill” V’s at the passing traffic. It seems that she pulled over to relieve her bladder and was spotted squatted down in the field, and she was giving 2 fingers to the passing traffic who where tooting their horn at her
Tris:
Usually a family of Pakistanis stood next to a broken down wreck of a car.
Saw this week before last think it was on the M1, he did have the sense to put his family next to the barrier whilst he stood at the edge of the hard shoulder…his arm stretched out hitching for a lift 
I couldn’t stop laughing for ages
Range Rovers…that flew past you in the outside lane 15 miles back quite often.
Flip flops taking a weekly rest.
Slightly twisted/bent Grockleboxes on their 1st outing of the year
On the M62 WB near Xscape in lane 2 was a cycle rack and 2 bikes, then 1/4 mile further on the car it fell off stationary in lane 2 surrounded by fast moving traffic. That WAS deffinately an interesting scene 
reminiscent of the Dukes of hazard with cars & trucks swerving at the last moment to avoid the carnage.
dreamlands2001:
Tris:
Usually a family of Pakistanis stood next to a broken down wreck of a car.Saw this week before last think it was on the M1, he did have the sense to put his family next to the barrier whilst he stood at the edge of the hard shoulder…his arm stretched out hitching for a lift
It gives me a chuckle, especially when it’s raining.
South bound on the M6 on night in the summer time about 10 years ago - spotted hazard lights in the distance but as I got closer one would dissapear and then come on again and then the other would do the same . As I got closer i realised what was happening - car broken down and was being pushed down the hard shoulder by a girl in pink furry boots with a bra top and hot pants to match . Must have been on the way or on the way home from a festival .
Lots car exhausts that seem to fall off.
It amazes me how many people break down on the motorway in modern cars. Is it down to people not doing basic checks, or people thrashing company cars?
The number of people running out of fuel is ridiculous too.
toby1234abc:
Ratchet straps in the live lanes due to lazy and bone idle drivers that can’t be assed to tighten them every so often.
I ring 999 who then get the Highways Agency to pick them up, if a motorcyclist drives over one, it could be fatal, cars swerving to avoid it, could end up in an accident.
Tell them the blue marker reference sign number for an accurate location .
I have seen sleeping bags, bikes, roof carrier
pods, planks of wood, rolls of insulating materials, all fallen off vans and lorries .
I once hit a cone. The roadworks were in progress and I had nowhere to go (lane 1 closed). Pulled over and called 101, though it had already been hit out of the way.
Saw 2 crows and a hedgehog once, they appeared to be chatting.
Reckon the hedgehog was asking if its a safe place to cross the road and the crows where saying yeah sure youl be fine whilst reaching for the salt and pepper.
Dipper_Dave:
Saw 2 crows and a hedgehog once, they appeared to be chatting.
Reckon the hedgehog was asking if its a safe place to cross the road and the crows where saying yeah sure youl be fine whilst reaching for the salt and pepper.
Crows are hard as nails 
tango boy:
Dipper_Dave:
Saw 2 crows and a hedgehog once, they appeared to be chatting.
Reckon the hedgehog was asking if its a safe place to cross the road and the crows where saying yeah sure youl be fine whilst reaching for the salt and pepper.Crows are hard as nails
Let `em marinate overnight in a nice garlic and tomato sauce. What goes around…
Muckaway:
It amazes me how many people break down on the motorway in modern cars. Is it down to people not doing basic checks, or people thrashing company cars?
The number of people running out of fuel is ridiculous too.
I noticed at load of matrix signs have had the message “Have you checked your fuel level ?”
blue estate:
Muckaway:
It amazes me how many people break down on the motorway in modern cars. Is it down to people not doing basic checks, or people thrashing company cars?
The number of people running out of fuel is ridiculous too.I noticed at load of matrix signs have had the message “Have you checked your fuel level ?”
I wonder if that was in part due to the easter holidays? People digging their E reg Volvo estates out from under the apple trees to pull their algae coloured Monza caravan down to Eastbourne?
Couple of months ago driving eastbound on the M8 just before the Newbridge slip I was greeted by 3 or 4 youths running along the motorway then proceeding to cross all 4 lanes and dissapear into the woods, A half mile down the road there was a meat wagon with doors open and a dainty half wit of a copper jogging up the banking.
Hope to God they got away with it , but I’ve no idea how you manage to stop a police van on the motorway and escape without any cuffs on at least. Jammie wee ■■■■■■■■■
I’ve also been overtaken on the same bit by a 3.5t box van and the driver musta forgot to pull shutter down dropping his parcels over the motorway didn’t react to my lights + horn but had stopped a couple of miles down the road ■■■■
M6 n/b nr Preston a couple of nights ago.
Fridge belly tank on hard shoulder.
Wouldn’t want to hit that…
Dipper_Dave:
Saw 2 crows and a hedgehog once, they appeared to be chatting.
Reckon the hedgehog was asking if its a safe place to cross the road and the crows where saying yeah sure youl be fine whilst reaching for the salt and pepper.
the crows advice would have been to run and stop in the middle of the headlights,curl into a ball till the car passes,then uncurl and run again…after it got splattered and with its dying breath asked them what went wrong,the answer was…■■■ me,ive not seen a reliant robin down here for years!!!