Feel free to post anything you have seen throughout your career on the road.
I remember once, before i passed my class1, i was a gas servicelayer working in a residential street in Feltham West London and at the end of the day grab lorry turns up to pick up muck, when leaving the grab had to reverse out onto the main road, so i’m seeing him out when a battered old transit van with a very suspicious looking driver toots his horn motioning for me to let him past, i let him past…just and he looks very pleased with himself like mutley in wacky races and then i tell grab once again to keep coming when all of a sudden a panda cop car toots and gestures at me to let him through aswell…cos he’s chasing the battered old transit van, poor old john the grab didn’t know if he was coming or going, very comical…oh well guess you had to be there
I remember years ago, stopping to let artic reverse into a tight yard. There was a ford Granada behind me, who came along side me and started tooting at the artic. Then he rammed the front wheel of the artic bursting his radiator ( the cars), helmet or what. Also when I started driving I was delivering to a supermarket in sussex somewhere, and you had to park in the car park and wait your turn. this silly old ■■■■ and his wife came out the store and struggled to get out their parking space. You could have got a ship out of it. Anyway, he gets out of his car and shouts at me, " them things shouldn’t be allowed in here" In my best Scottish accent I asked him how the ■■■■ did his shopping get here in the first place. silly old ■■■■■
Driving across the Nullabor, (desert in South Australia), with a freezer full of McCains frozen chips, and basically in convoy with three other freezer drivers, all heading for Perth, I was amazed to see a bunch of Aborigines, throwing spears at the trucks… Fortunately, their lead was a bit out and the spears hit the trailers rather than the prime mover cabs they were aiming for. The end result was a couple of gouges out of the fibreglass freezer bodies on two of the trailers.
We didn’t stop, but called to cops who later told us, they had been drunk… which was pretty much all they had to do out there!
EastAnglianTrucker:
Driving across the Nullabor, (desert in South Australia), with a freezer full of McCains frozen chips, and basically in convoy with three other freezer drivers, all heading for Perth, I was amazed to see a bunch of Aborigines, throwing spears at the trucks… Fortunately, their lead was a bit out and the spears hit the trailers rather than the prime mover cabs they were aiming for. The end result was a couple of gouges out of the fibreglass freezer bodies on two of the trailers.
We didn’t stop, but called to cops who later told us, they had been drunk… which was pretty much all they had to do out there!
DADDY LONGLEGS:
I remember years ago, stopping to let artic reverse into a tight yard. There was a ford Granada behind me, who came along side me and started tooting at the artic. Then he rammed the front wheel of the artic bursting his radiator ( the cars), helmet or what. Also when I started driving I was delivering to a supermarket in sussex somewhere, and you had to park in the car park and wait your turn. this silly old [zb] and his wife came out the store and struggled to get out their parking space. You could have got a ship out of it. Anyway, he gets out of his car and shouts at me, " them things shouldn’t be allowed in here" In my best Scottish accent I asked him how the [zb] did his shopping get here in the first place. silly old [zb].
Must be something about Granadas! My late brother, (lost him last month), was creeping round Hammersmith Broadway in the rush hour, in a Commer, well before side guards were invented, traffic moved, he pulled slowly forward – Crunch! looked in the mirror, a Granada joining from the A4 had nosed under the body in front of the back wheel, and as bruv pulled forward he’d squashed the front corner of the car. Turned out the Granada was auto, in drive, and the bloke had taken his foot of the brake to turn round and reach for something on the back seat!
Bernard
My first lorry driving job was with a right dodgy haulier based at The Angel, Islington. I drove a truck that they had bought second hand from BR.
I broke down in Watford and they sent another driver with a chain to tow me back to the yard. As we drove down Archway Rd (single road then), a car overtook me and cut in between me and the towing truck (yes I did have a big “ON TOW” sign. The guy towing me didn’t see him, so we carried on to the roundabout at the bottom where he managed to escape.
Years ago I was working through the night and came across a hitchhiker,pulled up and she climbed in.After a bit she asked if I had cigarettes,told her I didn’t and she
started to get a bit angry then demanded money for ciggies.When I told her I was a bit short this week she really lost the plot and told me if I didn’t give her some
money she would tell police I had attacked her.God I panicked,searched around and found a ten bob note then as we entered a village I stopped and she climbed out
and went and bought a packet of ciggies from a pub.When she was out I started to look around and noticed she had a suitcase which I opened to see what was in it,
God it was awful,probably worst that I have ever seen.She climbed back in the cab and we moved off,she obviously thought she had a right one here and started to demand more money,well I had had enough next town I pulled up and told her to get out.She was screaming blue murder until I told her I had looked in the suitcase
and knew what was in there,that shut her up and I was able to drive off with her calling me all the bar stewards under the sun.Never picked up a hitchhiker since.
Armagedon:
Years ago I was working through the night and came across a hitchhiker,pulled up and she climbed in.After a bit she asked if I had cigarettes,told her I didn’t and she
started to get a bit angry then demanded money for ciggies.When I told her I was a bit short this week she really lost the plot and told me if I didn’t give her some
money she would tell police I had attacked her.God I panicked,searched around and found a ten bob note then as we entered a village I stopped and she climbed out
and went and bought a packet of ciggies from a pub.When she was out I started to look around and noticed she had a suitcase which I opened to see what was in it,
God it was awful,probably worst that I have ever seen.She climbed back in the cab and we moved off,she obviously thought she had a right one here and started to demand more money,well I had had enough next town I pulled up and told her to get out.She was screaming blue murder until I told her I had looked in the suitcase
and knew what was in there,that shut her up and I was able to drive off with her calling me all the bar stewards under the sun.Never picked up a hitchhiker since.
Armagedon:
Years ago I was working through the night and came across a hitchhiker,pulled up and she climbed in.After a bit she asked if I had cigarettes,told her I didn’t and she
started to get a bit angry then demanded money for ciggies.When I told her I was a bit short this week she really lost the plot and told me if I didn’t give her some
money she would tell police I had attacked her.God I panicked,searched around and found a ten bob note then as we entered a village I stopped and she climbed out
and went and bought a packet of ciggies from a pub.When she was out I started to look around and noticed she had a suitcase which I opened to see what was in it,
God it was awful,probably worst that I have ever seen.She climbed back in the cab and we moved off,she obviously thought she had a right one here and started to demand more money,well I had had enough next town I pulled up and told her to get out.She was screaming blue murder until I told her I had looked in the suitcase
and knew what was in there,that shut her up and I was able to drive off with her calling me all the bar stewards under the sun.Never picked up a hitchhiker since.
I really hate it when people don’t finish their stories!!!
Armagedon:
Years ago I was working through the night and came across a hitchhiker,pulled up and she climbed in.After a bit she asked if I had cigarettes,told her I didn’t and she
started to get a bit angry then demanded money for ciggies.When I told her I was a bit short this week she really lost the plot and told me if I didn’t give her some
money she would tell police I had attacked her.God I panicked,searched around and found a ten bob note then as we entered a village I stopped and she climbed out
and went and bought a packet of ciggies from a pub.When she was out I started to look around and noticed she had a suitcase which I opened to see what was in it,
God it was awful,probably worst that I have ever seen.She climbed back in the cab and we moved off,she obviously thought she had a right one here and started to demand more money,well I had had enough next town I pulled up and told her to get out.She was screaming blue murder until I told her I had looked in the suitcase
and knew what was in there,that shut her up and I was able to drive off with her calling me all the bar stewards under the sun.Never picked up a hitchhiker since.
A pound note
OK, I will bite, what was in the case?
The great day’s of CB trucking.Was travelling up the M5 and this breaker was telling this tale,when he signed off you could hear all those who had been ear whigging…
‘What was in the suitcase’.
I was crawling my way round the M25 yesterday morning, when I saw a car in the next lane, a couple of cars ahead. Not unusual, but this was a silver Mercedes 230 convertible, with a personal number plate ** BEV - and driving it was a blond woman, who was more interested in texting somebody and arsing about with her phone than paying much attention to the road. I don’t suppose for one moment it was our favourite TC, but just imagine if it was…
I had an early morning town centre delivery point where you had to reverse around a few corners. There was a disco on the road and too many fissed up people wandering around to do the reverse safely. When the bouncers had cleared the area after closing time, they would come across and wake me from the nap I was having.
One night I was woken by the rocking of the cab only to find it wasn’t the bouncers, but an amorous couple using my truck as a prop.
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Re: collecting dead animals
by kr79 » Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:48 pm
Back in 2003 I was driving a artic bulker on landfill work for a south London skip firm as well as our own rubbish we did a bit out of other skip yards and council transfer stations.
One firm we pulled out of was a dodgy rough as hell half caravan living people outfit who had a couple of old stables in the yard with a a couple of scaby sorry looking donkeys in there. One Thursday afternoon I went in there and one of the donkeys had keeled over and there was already a few flys buzzing round.
The Guvnor wasn’t paying for the pet cemetery and came over and said alright if we put it on you. I said no way you can’t send it down a landfill site so without blinking he pulled out a wad of cash that could have choked a donkey rolled of a 50 and said are you sure. The colour of money clouded my judgement so I took the 50 and said ok but don’t take the ■■■■ with it. I pop down to the cafe come back and it’s loaded so I Pulled on to the weighbridge all ok so I just shut the easy sheet went back to the yard to park up.
Next morning I got in started the truck and instead of hearing a v8 scania fire up I got the ominous click of a knackerd starter motor and ended up in a spare lorry.
No work Saturday so it was Monday by the time muffin the mule was making his final voyage. 4-30 am I’m in the yard and I’m away down the old Kent road over blackheath down the a2 and off to the dartford tunnel. I got to the barrier and the attendant said your overheight. This wasn’t a surprise as my trailer was 15 ft 6 and often something sticking ip would set the sensors off. So I said il go for the right hand tunnel she said no your to high for it pull in to the tanker bay and sort it out.
I pulled in to the bay climbed up to se the now rotting donkey rolled half on it’s back and two rigimorticed legs sticking well up in the air. I opened the easy sheet and tried pushing this stinking thing back on it’s side but it just kept rolling back over. I grabed one of the legs and tried bending it but it was solid as a oak tree.
By this time I was covered in sweat and flys and heard another truck pull up I looked down to see Tony a guy I worked with he climbed up and just said what the [zb]. Now there was two of us trying to roll the dead donkey and bend it’s legs with little sucsess.
He said il be back in a second and returned with a big hacksaw and handed it to me and just said crack on son. My face droped and I said what am I going to do withthat and he replied cut it’s [zb] legs off son. I said I can’t he said I ain’t and have you got a better idea so I set to cutting thrrough the rotting flesh and bone. I was heaving at the blood and maggots going every where but eventualt cut far enough to bend them over. I came down covered in blood with a swarm of flys round me and went through the tunnel and to the landfill at averley.
I tipped it out and the fixer driver jumped out of his d8 saying you can’t tip that here and I had to give him 20 quid to keep his mouth shut.
Last edited by Colingl on Fri Oct 07, 2011 5:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Language edit, if it needs stars it ain’t allowed.
was at doncaster infirmary delivering gas bottles 2 weeks ago got to park in front off disable bays had 100 bottles on tailift some oap got out off his car and said can you move the truck up so i can get in the bay i said no chance they would fall over like skittles lol
