Staying away

[the_sarge]

Adonis.:
We won’t tell him that because we don’t do it.

I certainly don’t live like a ‘tinker’, I live quite comfortably in fact, easily done when you’re on top of your admin and use your space wisely. I get more than £20 for a night out and don’t have a low wage. I’ve never once had to dump in my cab. Maybe I’m strange and don’t live like a caged bear.

OP, buy a pack of cheap water from the supermarket (500ml) and stock up on 2L/5L/20L containers of water. Dispense into your 500ml bottles at your leisure. Newspapers are for reading and glass cleaning, not curling one out onto.

A.

Yup, what he said ^^^^

[conan_the_librarian]

nightline:
Here’s what they wont tell you need, because when you live like a tinker you have to act like one, you will need a bottle with a wide opening so when you need a ■■■■ you wont ■■■■ all over yourself, also plenty of newspaper so if you need to do a number two you can place on the bunk and have a crap, then you need a plastic bag to put the crap and paper in so when you throw it the truck it just looks like a bag not a load of crap, they wont tell you this because they will never admit that most of the time we live like tinkers for 20 pounds for over night money and work for a low wage, don’t mind some of the answers here, they all think they are super people with a big job that makes them feel cool and they are qualified to give advice, not so most of them work for buttons and don’t know what the word no means and they are all yes men for the buttons they work for. good luck, all you need is enough common sense and a week out and you will know what you need, you don’t need the fools here that give advice.

speak for yourself!

What’s so hard about stopping at a services for a ■■■■ n shower before you park up for the night? If, as a grown man you can’t go 12 hours tops without a ■■■■ you need to see a doctor

Wide necked bottle handy for if you get caught short in the night though

[victa1]

Large plastic muffin tubs are handy for a dump lol , more luxurious than a plastic bag i guess . Do the business then put lid on it , dispose , job done !.
Im not a tramper just got caught short one day driving the van and it was only thing available.

Good luck.

[immigrant]

If you go Continent then you have the many Truckstops everywhere. I let them do my Laundry for a few Euro during i had Lunch,some Sandwiches and Water in cab. Stove and Cans under Bed and Matches to keep Eyes open

[honked]

Been a while since I had a night out but if you have a walk around a caravan / camping shop, you will find some good ideas to help make your living in a box a tad easier.

Some water containers here Water | Caravan Accessory Shop
but you can get them cheaper or just make your own.

[tommyboy1289]

I only use those 5ltr ones from tesco, their about £1.10/£1.20, I’m too bone idle to refill them with water, but they make great ■■■■ bottles, just don’t get the two mixed up, always a stash at home and keep an emergency in the car.

I’ve also got an address book with supermarkets I can get my lorry in (and out) of when needs be.

[robroy]

nightline:
Here’s what they wont tell you need, because when you live like a tinker you have to act like one, you will need a bottle with a wide opening so when you need a ■■■■ you wont ■■■■ all over yourself, also plenty of newspaper so if you need to do a number two you can place on the bunk and have a crap, then you need a plastic bag to put the crap and paper in so when you throw it the truck it just looks like a bag not a load of crap, they wont tell you this because they will never admit that most of the time we live like tinkers for 20 pounds for over night money and work for a low wage, don’t mind some of the answers here, they all think they are super people with a big job that makes them feel cool and they are qualified to give advice, not so most of them work for buttons and don’t know what the word no means and they are all yes men for the buttons they work for. good luck, all you need is enough common sense and a week out and you will know what you need, you don’t need the fools here that give advice.

Speak for yourself by all means mate, but do not speak for me.
If that’s how you live in your truck, crack on bud,.
I only hope I never have to have a motor that you have had if you consider ■■■■■■■■ on the bunk to be normal ok, I’ll go with you on the ■■■■ bottle, but that is more down to laziness.
I think you are confusing ‘tramping’ with living like a tramp.
To o/p we do not all live like that, or maybe most of you do …who knows.

[tommyboy1289]

robroy:

nightline:
Here’s what they wont tell you need, because when you live like a tinker you have to act like one, you will need a bottle with a wide opening so when you need a ■■■■ you wont ■■■■ all over yourself, also plenty of newspaper so if you need to do a number two you can place on the bunk and have a crap, then you need a plastic bag to put the crap and paper in so when you throw it the truck it just looks like a bag not a load of crap, they wont tell you this because they will never admit that most of the time we live like tinkers for 20 pounds for over night money and work for a low wage, don’t mind some of the answers here, they all think they are super people with a big job that makes them feel cool and they are qualified to give advice, not so most of them work for buttons and don’t know what the word no means and they are all yes men for the buttons they work for. good luck, all you need is enough common sense and a week out and you will know what you need, you don’t need the fools here that give advice.

Speak for yourself by all means mate, but do not speak for me.
If that’s how you live in your truck, crack on bud,.
I only hope I never have to have a motor that you have had if you consider ■■■■■■■■ on the bunk to be normal ok, I’ll go with you on the ■■■■ bottle, but that is more down to laziness.
I think you are confusing ‘tramping’ with living like a tramp.
To o/p we do not all live like that, or maybe most of you do …who knows.

Here here…one of our lads at work thinks it’s normal to ■■■■ in his bucket in the cab, no way, if you arent staying at services then call somewhere for a ■■■■ before you park up, don’t eat anything dodgy and keep a bog roll for emergencies in the bushes, been at it over a year now and never once have I felt the need to ■■■■ in my cab, dirty ■■■■■■■■■

[nightline]

tommyboy1289:

robroy:

nightline:
Here’s what they wont tell you need, because when you live like a tinker you have to act like one, you will need a bottle with a wide opening so when you need a ■■■■ you wont ■■■■ all over yourself, also plenty of newspaper so if you need to do a number two you can place on the bunk and have a crap, then you need a plastic bag to put the crap and paper in so when you throw it the truck it just looks like a bag not a load of crap, they wont tell you this because they will never admit that most of the time we live like tinkers for 20 pounds for over night money and work for a low wage, don’t mind some of the answers here, they all think they are super people with a big job that makes them feel cool and they are qualified to give advice, not so most of them work for buttons and don’t know what the word no means and they are all yes men for the buttons they work for. good luck, all you need is enough common sense and a week out and you will know what you need, you don’t need the fools here that give advice.

Speak for yourself by all means mate, but do not speak for me.
If that’s how you live in your truck, crack on bud,.
I only hope I never have to have a motor that you have had if you consider ■■■■■■■■ on the bunk to be normal ok, I’ll go with you on the ■■■■ bottle, but that is more down to laziness.
I think you are confusing ‘tramping’ with living like a tramp.
To o/p we do not all live like that, or maybe most of you do …who knows.

Here here…one of our lads at work thinks it’s normal to [zb] in his bucket in the cab, no way, if you arent staying at services then call somewhere for a [zb] before you park up, don’t eat anything dodgy and keep a bog roll for emergencies in the bushes, been at it over a year now and never once have I felt the need to [zb] in my cab, dirty [zb].

You don’t need to be parked up bud and you don’t need to be tramping, your driving down a road and nature tells you need to go then you have to go, and if its a busy road and no privacy at side of truck you do what you have to do, and that’s a fact, unless maybe you have some way of holding it for a long time, please tell all how you do that, and as never getting caught out well you need to be wearing a nappy for that never to happen to you. you Gotha do what you Gotha do and that’s a fact no shame, it happens to us all, don’t try to be someone different your a truck driver and when you need to go your no different than anyone else.

[tommyboy1289]

nightline:

tommyboy1289:

robroy:

nightline:
Here’s what they wont tell you need, because when you live like a tinker you have to act like one, you will need a bottle with a wide opening so when you need a ■■■■ you wont ■■■■ all over yourself, also plenty of newspaper so if you need to do a number two you can place on the bunk and have a crap, then you need a plastic bag to put the crap and paper in so when you throw it the truck it just looks like a bag not a load of crap, they wont tell you this because they will never admit that most of the time we live like tinkers for 20 pounds for over night money and work for a low wage, don’t mind some of the answers here, they all think they are super people with a big job that makes them feel cool and they are qualified to give advice, not so most of them work for buttons and don’t know what the word no means and they are all yes men for the buttons they work for. good luck, all you need is enough common sense and a week out and you will know what you need, you don’t need the fools here that give advice.

Speak for yourself by all means mate, but do not speak for me.
If that’s how you live in your truck, crack on bud,.
I only hope I never have to have a motor that you have had if you consider ■■■■■■■■ on the bunk to be normal ok, I’ll go with you on the ■■■■ bottle, but that is more down to laziness.
I think you are confusing ‘tramping’ with living like a tramp.
To o/p we do not all live like that, or maybe most of you do …who knows.

Here here…one of our lads at work thinks it’s normal to [zb] in his bucket in the cab, no way, if you arent staying at services then call somewhere for a [zb] before you park up, don’t eat anything dodgy and keep a bog roll for emergencies in the bushes, been at it over a year now and never once have I felt the need to [zb] in my cab, dirty [zb].

You don’t need to be parked up bud and you don’t need to be tramping, your driving down a road and nature tells you need to go then you have to go, and if its a busy road and no privacy at side of truck you do what you have to do, and that’s a fact, unless maybe you have some way of holding it for a long time, please tell all how you do that, and as never getting caught out well you need to be wearing a nappy for that never to happen to you. you Gotha do what you Gotha do and that’s a fact no shame, it happens to us all, don’t try to be someone different your a truck driver and when you need to go your no different than anyone else.

Not denying I am. But the day I have to ■■■■ on my bed is the day I’ll stop tramping. Perhaps I’ve got better control of my bowels than others.

What if your on that busy road with no privacy but in your car instead of your truck? Take a squat on the back seat?

[nightline]

Here here…one of our lads at work thinks it’s normal to [zb] in his bucket in the cab, no way, if you arent staying at services then call somewhere for a [zb] before you park up, don’t eat anything dodgy and keep a bog roll for emergencies in the bushes, been at it over a year now and never once have I felt the need to [zb] in my cab, dirty [zb].
[/quote]
You don’t need to be parked up bud and you don’t need to be tramping, your driving down a road and nature tells you need to go then you have to go, and if its a busy road and no privacy at side of truck you do what you have to do, and that’s a fact, unless maybe you have some way of holding it for a long time, please tell all how you do that, and as never getting caught out well you need to be wearing a nappy for that never to happen to you. you Gotha do what you Gotha do and that’s a fact no shame, it happens to us all, don’t try to be someone different your a truck driver and when you need to go your no different than anyone else.
[/quote]
Not denying I am. But the day I have to [zb] on my bed is the day I’ll stop tramping. Perhaps I’ve got better control of my bowels than others.

What if your on that busy road with no privacy but in your car instead of your truck? Take a squat on the back seat?
[/quote]
Well what you could do is crap in your trousers and with what you said it seems like that’s what you would do, good luck with that, that would make you worse than what I just said. no brain

[nightline]

So most of yee have a bottle for emergency for a ■■■■ but not for the other thing, Who are you kidding but yourselves, you have to have it one way and not the other, like we never got caught out the other way, if you had to ■■■■ in a bottle then you had to have a number 2 somewhere that was not a proper toilet, the only shame is not admitting it, we all get to the point where we have to do what we have to do, just depends where you are when you need to go, and if you don’t for see it and don’t prepare for it then you are going to be in big trouble, imagine packing all that stuff for working away all week and then having to crap in your pants because you never thought you would need to prepare for something like it, trust me they all go to work and have a plan for craping anywhere. and that’s a fact

[happysack]

I hardly ever crap in a toilet during the week. Never crap in the cab though.

[switchlogic]

nightline:
You don’t need to be parked up bud and you don’t need to be tramping, your driving down a road and nature tells you need to go then you have to go, and if its a busy road and no privacy at side of truck you do what you have to do, and that’s a fact, unless maybe you have some way of holding it for a long time, please tell all how you do that, and as never getting caught out well you need to be wearing a nappy for that never to happen to you. you Gotha do what you Gotha do and that’s a fact no shame, it happens to us all, don’t try to be someone different your a truck driver and when you need to go your no different than anyone else.

Sounds like you suffer what we doctors call loose ring piece syndrome. Google ‘■■■■ exercises’. If married its probably a good idea to enable private browsing before doing this though

[colin_scottish]

switchlogic:

nightline:
You don’t need to be parked up bud and you don’t need to be tramping, your driving down a road and nature tells you need to go then you have to go, and if its a busy road and no privacy at side of truck you do what you have to do, and that’s a fact, unless maybe you have some way of holding it for a long time, please tell all how you do that, and as never getting caught out well you need to be wearing a nappy for that never to happen to you. you Gotha do what you Gotha do and that’s a fact no shame, it happens to us all, don’t try to be someone different your a truck driver and when you need to go your no different than anyone else.

Sounds like you suffer what we doctors call loose ring piece syndrome. Google ‘■■■■ exercises’. If married its probably a good idea to enable private browsing before doing this though

Luke he talks thats much crap he needs mouth exercises aswell.I have never been caught short and had to have a dump in the cab always plan ahead.Also i dont ■■■■ in a bottle i dont wake up till my alarm goes off.

[alix776]

I always carry black bags and they are a very last resort but I always use the trailer. Bottles come in handy just if caught short

[bobbya]

nightline:
Here here…one of our lads at work thinks it’s normal to [zb] in his bucket in the cab, no way, if you arent staying at services then call somewhere for a [zb] before you park up, don’t eat anything dodgy and keep a bog roll for emergencies in the bushes, been at it over a year now and never once have I felt the need to [zb] in my cab, dirty [zb].

You don’t need to be parked up bud and you don’t need to be tramping, your driving down a road and nature tells you need to go then you have to go, and if its a busy road and no privacy at side of truck you do what you have to do, and that’s a fact, unless maybe you have some way of holding it for a long time, please tell all how you do that, and as never getting caught out well you need to be wearing a nappy for that never to happen to you. you Gotha do what you Gotha do and that’s a fact no shame, it happens to us all, don’t try to be someone different your a truck driver and when you need to go your no different than anyone else.
[/quote]
Not denying I am. But the day I have to [zb] on my bed is the day I’ll stop tramping. Perhaps I’ve got better control of my bowels than others.

What if your on that busy road with no privacy but in your car instead of your truck? Take a squat on the back seat?
[/quote]
Well what you could do is crap in your trousers and with what you said it seems like that’s what you would do, good luck with that, that would make you worse than what I just said. no brain
[/quote]
Night line, don’t be too hard on him he is a veteran tramper of a whole year,he is much wiser than the rest of us.As for needing a crap when you are in the car I think you will find it a lot easier to find somewhere to park a car than 44t.,eg McDonald’s, pubs any shop with a cafe or restaurant the possibilities are endless so please bow to his superior knowledge,thank you.

[dipper_dave]

Although ■■■’s come in various consistencys from the sweetest solid to the nastiest ■■■■■■■ out of ones bottom praying for a lump, anyone new to tramping can avoid taking a dump in the cab (never on the bunk, this doesnt happen) by getting familar with their own ■■■-cycle.

For me I work on a sliding scale of 0-5

0= The moments after youve just had a clean drop, a perfect ■■■, one where the only purpose of using loo roll is to put a shine on ones sheriffs badge. Known as the ‘glory wipe’.

1= Feeling fine its been a few hours since nipping off a nugget and confidence is high that a ■■■ is not needed for the forseable. Possible to engage a sleep cycle with no fear of rest interuption from a call downstairs.

2= Very early stages of moving into the ‘■■■ window’. One feels theres is definately activity in the back passage but trying to evacuate is pointless and would not bear any brown fruit as theres very little backpressure. Tell tale signs include little harmless ■■■■■ that can be let off in the company of others with a very low risk of discovery. Trying to force a ■■■■ should be avoided.

3= This stage is also known as the ‘drop window’. If you where at home or worked in an office you could simply go to the toilet confident in the knowledge there was more than enough time to prepare the toilet for the imminent drop. This preparation can be anything from wiping the loo seat to prelaying some sheets of loo roll on the seat to avoid that cold shock.
Confidence is so high that one can even prestart the ■■■ before entering the loo.

Theres a few sub cycles to this ranging from more pungent botty whiffs to mild twinges in ones tummy area. This is the stage normal people go to the toilet.

4= Now at stage 4 things are getting tricky. One will be annoyed with themselves that a stage 3 ■■■ opportunity was missed as now a ■■■ is imminent. Ideally at this stage one will be near a toilet but as usual this stage is triggered by being no where near one. Its possible to jump straight from a stage 1 or 2 to a stage 4 if ones body is feeling uncooperative.

Tell tale signs are extremely smelly ■■■■■ that at first are quite pleasurable in the confines of ones cab but now carry a fear element, painfull stomach cramps are appearing in waves to signal the arrival each strengthening ■■■■. Going off route at this stage is essential to locate a toilet. An emergency ■■■ in or around the cab will also be crossing ones mind.

Real Jedi ■■■ masters can perform a re-chew and in the right conditions reduce a stage 4 to a stage 3 temporarily. However this is not without risk and requires skill and concentration. Around 10 minutes can be acheived before bringing on total ■■■■ collapse and stage 5.

5= This is the stage where no matter where you are or what your doing your arse should be hovering over a toilet seat. Sweating, stomache cramps, fear of ■■■■■■■ all accompany this phase where one is conciously clamping their cutting muscle shut for all its worth. Simple everday tasks become virtually impossible. Even walking becomes difficult.

All control is about to be lost as the tortoise is now at its most curious, its not uncommon to have a niblet in ones undercrackers now that escaped before the panic clench.

Theres no point trying to act natural as your facial expression and hunched over demeanor will give away the mess your now in.
Finding an available ■■■ recepticle is like winning the lottery now, preconceived notions of political correctness are out the window. You have to ■■■ and dont care where.

This stage although the worst is also the most rewarding so embrace it and in the safety of ones home practice bringing it on.

Just my thoughts and not diffinitive or cast in stone. Stages can be skipped, its not an exact science. In fact I once did a wee at stage 1 and surprised myself by also doing a ■■■ at the same time.

[javiatrix]

Dipper_Dave,

Permission to save that body of text? You owe me a new keyboard

[tommyboy1289]

bobbya:

nightline:
Here here…one of our lads at work thinks it’s normal to [zb] in his bucket in the cab, no way, if you arent staying at services then call somewhere for a [zb] before you park up, don’t eat anything dodgy and keep a bog roll for emergencies in the bushes, been at it over a year now and never once have I felt the need to [zb] in my cab, dirty [zb].

You don’t need to be parked up bud and you don’t need to be tramping, your driving down a road and nature tells you need to go then you have to go, and if its a busy road and no privacy at side of truck you do what you have to do, and that’s a fact, unless maybe you have some way of holding it for a long time, please tell all how you do that, and as never getting caught out well you need to be wearing a nappy for that never to happen to you. you Gotha do what you Gotha do and that’s a fact no shame, it happens to us all, don’t try to be someone different your a truck driver and when you need to go your no different than anyone else.

Not denying I am. But the day I have to [zb] on my bed is the day I’ll stop tramping. Perhaps I’ve got better control of my bowels than others.

What if your on that busy road with no privacy but in your car instead of your truck? Take a squat on the back seat?
[/quote]
Well what you could do is crap in your trousers and with what you said it seems like that’s what you would do, good luck with that, that would make you worse than what I just said. no brain
[/quote]
Night line, don’t be too hard on him he is a veteran tramper of a whole year,he is much wiser than the rest of us.As for needing a crap when you are in the car I think you will find it a lot easier to find somewhere to park a car than 44t.,eg McDonald’s, pubs any shop with a cafe or restaurant the possibilities are endless so please bow to his superior knowledge,thank you.
[/quote]
Did I say I was wiser, no, perhaps I’m just lucky, i can hold my ■■■■■ in and can park a truck well, yeah I’ve only been at it a year, but if I can survive a year without ■■■■■■■■ on my bunk then I think that’s a good indication.