the maoster:
Dipper_Dave:
Why do I perform a silly halfwalk/halfrun/skip thing to cross the road when a vehicle stops for me on a zebra crossing.That made me snort the hay fever right out of my nose! I actually do the same as well now I think about it.
Sadly, I can’t walk up to an automatic door without doing a far too camp “shimmy” 
Why does the car joining the motorway or dual carriageway I’m on, refuse to use the slip road to match their speed with that of the lane they are attempting to join?
Why does the car that does use all of the slip road get as far my nearside windows and then stop their relative progress, and try and join under my 1st and 2nd axles?
I wonder what other people think of my driving? (Probably what I think of other people’s, ■■■■!)
Why do I keep braking when I am sat in the passenger seat of the car when my wife is driving 
There is no traffic,and you start to reverse.Hazard lights flashing and beeper going.
Then 3 cars drive up to the back of the trailer and gesticulate with arm and hand movements as if it is your fault being there.
Thr Portuguese would just lean on their horns for ages.
That Latin temperment.
Jekyl and Hyde characters with split personalities that transform to Devils behind the wheel.
They can get 145 mph out of a Nissan Micra.
When they get out of the car after ranting and raving,they are nice as pie.
“Ooh,English driver,my cousin works in London,do you know him”.?
I ask,what does he look like?
I played a lot of football when i was young and as a left winger (positional, and as it happens, politically) with an impressive turn of speed, why do I now run like a fat girl■■?
oldhippyandy:
‘…as a left winger (… politically) … why do I now run like a fat girl…?’
Proving that ‘you lot’ always seem blind to the bleeping obvious, ‘…running like a fat girl…’ is one of your equal rights - like what us bigotted, xenophobic, racist, Olde Englishe, pro-Commonwealth chauvinists usually have to carry/open/lift/drive, etc for you 
Why do National Express say their professional drivers will load your bag for you on the back of their coaches and all I can do is day to myself is ‘cause you’re a flipping fat barsteward’?
I do it every time. 
Why do comedians think it’s ok to max your hours out for £500 per week take home? 
Why is it that you can drive down a country road for miles and not see another vehicle but you will always meet another lorry coming the other way in the narrowest part.?
Is it true that all Daf cf drivers are midgets,as they all seem to struggle to see over the steering wheel.
Why do coach drivers wear waistcoats ?
toby1234abc:
Why do coach drivers wear waistcoats ?
Got to be the best question thus far.
toby1234abc:
Why do coach drivers wear waistcoats ?
Because they think that they look cool & can pull Widowed Granny’s (on Tinsel & Turkey Tours) easier !
Suedehead:
Why is it that you can drive down a country road for miles and not see another vehicle but you will always meet another lorry coming the other way in the narrowest part.?Is it true that all Daf cf drivers are midgets,as they all seem to struggle to see over the steering wheel.
I’ve often thought that and I drive one (I’m 5’10). How can anyone sit so low in them? The sunvisors are hopeless unless sat high up. I wonder if the seats in the later models have been modified as it’s easier to get comfortable in my CF than my old Alpha.
Floral patterned waistcoats to attract the SAGA blue rinse brigade.
National Express tend to drive while wearing their Hi-Viz.
Must be ex lorry drivers.
Why is it that so many drivers leave the right indicator on when leaving a roundabout?
Why is it young women always think it’s perfectly fine to tailgate you whilst they are doing their hair in the rear view?
Why is it nobody gives a ■■■■ about anybody else but their own destination?
Why is it some lorries pull out to overtake on a motorway then proceed to continue at 0.2mph faster, taking a lifetime to pull back into left lane lol
Why do cashiers flog us chocalate for a pound?
And all the time,they ask if you bought fuel,do i need prompting,do i have memory loss ?
They ask for your PIN Number,but that is number twice.
Mcdonalds all ask,is that a menu,no ,i did not say i wanted a menu.
Then they say is that a large menu ?
Drivers taking 15 minute tacho breaks on the fuel pumps.They say “Can’t move mate,on a break.”
Why do you turn down the radio to see better when on the final approach to a new drop.
Chester,i turn the radio down looking for a delivery place and the windows come down.
Why do drivers and fork lift drivers try to talk to you while you are sat in the drivers seat with the engine running.?
They never come to the drivers side.
It is like that game show of charades and using hand gestures for deaf signing to work out what they want.
Why is the ranting and raving driver at the RDC who has to pull out as his 15 hours is up,and is later asleep in the layby an hour down the road. Thought he had to get home for the cats birthday or let the dog out of the house.?
Why repeat the number plate five times when checking in with security.?
"Was that an A , you said driver?,or did you say Z ?
Who do work for driver?.Big clue, it is wriitten on the cab !
chester:
Why do you turn down the radio to see better when on the final approach to a new drop.
simple one that. by reducing the workload on some of your senses it helps intensify the remaining senses that you are using.
How come the radio will only play white noise until it hits classic then its like pavarottis in the glovey ■■?