Attn Chas.
Thanks for the answer, and yes i take your answer as truthful and straight…until proven otherwise or someone consistently posts like a ■■■ (like the poster recently warned and still gobbing off) i assume they are honest, as i hope evryone assumes i am, if they don’t think i am it doesn’t really matter in the rich tapestry of life.
From your frank disclosure of your state of mind at the time of the traffic jam its clear to see you were heading for problems, breakdown or whatever it was going that way…from experience (but not in your league of work position or responsibility) its the one its happening to who doesn’t realise till its too late.
I wonder how much of this was driven by the unreasonable, to me, undercover spying you carried out, apparently unbidden, on your former colleagues…i’m sorry but unless a colleague was genuinly suspected of fraud or dipping their fingers in the till or other crminal actions then their personal lives, including their finances, are as far as i’m concerned absolutely private and of their own affair and no one elses.**
I also wonder if some form of inner guilt at this affair was also eating away at you, aswell as the normal pressures of balancing work and life.
On the work/life balance i’m sure many of us, me included could have out time all over again and hopefully make a better job of being there for our families…yes we (i) provided well (for my social status if you like) but in retrospect there is so much that i would have done differently.
Things is we are dealt a set of cards at a fairly early age, and we have to play the best game we can with them, having to make career and life choices before we’re fully dry behind the ears.
Mistakes, i’ve made bloody thousands and will do again, we’re not robots with computers for brains.
I haven’t spoken of this before here, but towards the end of my days on the transporters i was probably heading to a breakdown myself, unless you’ve worked transporters for certain operators (or similar working loads) you have no idea just how hard we worked for our admittedly good money.
My wife, who is woman far too good for me, took me to one side one day and told me she didn’t want to be the richest widow in the town…within a week or so i’d jacked the job in, if i hadn’t i expect i’d have fallen seriously ill by now, didn’t realise it but i’d become part of the machine almost, just plugged infor a recharge at the weekends.
Luckily we hadn’t ■■■■■■ the good earning years up the wall and the house was paid for, and no debts, so i went on the agency for around 14 months, for the first 9 months i was lucky enough to go into a liocal RDC who for some reasonliked me and gave me a regular shift, only about 9 hours a day but steady, issued me a regular rental lorry and left me to it, didn’t earn much but didn’t need to, eventually that job ended but i can honestly say without trying to be melodramatic that i belive that 9 months or so saved me.
Had a very lucky break and got the job where i am now which is the dogs danglers and i wouldn’t give a toss how much anyone else offered me i’m here till they carry me out in a box.
**just a note here to qualify my thoughts.
I have an ethic i work to, i belive passionately that management should be on a need to know basis only and what they need to know is as little as possible.
If they want to know what goes on in a yard at 4 am or 11pm, or what joe bloggs gets up to when he has 40 winks just after he tips at somewhere, bloody well have a late night or an early morning and get your arse down there and look for yourselves, or get in your paid for and free fuelled comoany car and go look see.
Working blokes should not be grassing on each other, tittle tatling for a pat on the head and the promise of a new motor.
Thats it lads, sorry its been another long winded load of rubbish… 