gsm31:
Well you want to try being Half Irish, Half Scots and Half English!!!
Hm. How can you have THREE halves? You had two mothers and one father, or two fathers and one mother? 
normally i like to have a wee while doing a number 2… now with my bum hanging out the window the passenger seat would have got a good soaking. 
so i wont be trying it.
was at middlewich last week
driver comes in at 2030 with a load booked for 1000
clerk sez whats the drill ?
drive sez i had to bring the load as the polish lad we sent earlier got off m6 at j18 then couldnt find it so brought it back to yard
can we keep this thread on topic and not turn it into a polish bashing thread again please. jd
At tesco rdc in Middleton,
a spanish driver opened up his trailer ,
so we could tip his oranges.
I think he forgot ,
he ■■■,d in the back of his trailer.
Nice little pile ,
that he tried to kick out the side.
His load was rejected and he was banned off site.
orys:
Oh, don’t be so bad to this guy. He only shared his experiences with us. What’s so unusual with that? Everyone knows, that this habit is very common in East Europe. That’s why every Polish trucker dream about driving for UPS - as on brown doors you can’t spot marks left by your [zb]
F.L.M.A.O 
Please excuse my tardy reply but when I read this post earlier today it prompted me to go back to the yard and put myself in the ‘shoes’ (or should it be ■■■’s) of the alleged Polish driver.
It’s important at this stage to point out that anatomy plays a large part in success or failure regarding the alleged incident. Although different bums will protrude at various lengths when hung out of truck windows, the point of exit is strategically placed behind ones crown jewels. The point being that it’s difficult to place the exit point outside while still being able to reach the steering wheel with ones hand or foot no matter how big ones bum is.
My first attempt reappeared when I raised the window. The truck stalled on my second attempt so we won’t go into it. I was eventually fired during the third attempt. I conclude that having a Richard is just about possible if you’re over 6ft tall; drive an automatic that comes with storage pockets over the door to grab onto.
I’ve since patented a truckers ‘Poop shoot’ available soon in a clear bubble pack from CDC. Don’t get it mixed up with the flags. You can have Navaho American Indian or Scania lady designs emblazoned on the washable shoot. I’ve not bothered with one to fit Iveco drivers. Apparently the ash trays are big enough as is the one used by our pot head friend.
jonob:
was at middlewich last weekdriver comes in at 2030 with a load booked for 1000
clerk sez whats the drill ?
drive sez i had to bring the load as the polish lad we sent earlier got off m6 at j18 then couldnt find it so brought it back to yard
Excactly what I had when I was worked for citylink just before christmas. I was delivering parcels to farms arround lesmahagow and people were telling me that scottish drivers were calling them for directions then never turned up as they propably can’t find that…
I did all my drops + about 10 parcels undelivered previoulsy at this area. And I had no sat nav.
As you can see from two exapmples above ability to find places is completely not related to nationality.
David H:
Please excuse my tardy reply but when I read this post earlier today it prompted me to go back to the yard and put myself in the ‘shoes’ (or should it be ■■■’s) of the alleged Polish driver.It’s important at this stage to point out that anatomy plays a large part in success or failure regarding the alleged incident. Although different bums will protrude at various lengths when hung out of truck windows, the point of exit is strategically placed behind ones crown jewels. The point being that it’s difficult to place the exit point outside while still being able to reach the steering wheel with ones hand or foot no matter how big ones bum is.
My first attempt reappeared when I raised the window. The truck stalled on my second attempt so we won’t go into it. I was eventually fired during the third attempt. I conclude that having a Richard is just about possible if you’re over 6ft tall; drive an automatic that comes with storage pockets over the door to grab onto.
I’ve since patented a truckers ‘Poop shoot’ available soon in a clear bubble pack from CDC. Don’t get it mixed up with the flags. You can have Navaho American Indian or Scania lady designs emblazoned on the washable shoot. I’ve not bothered with one to fit Iveco drivers. Apparently the ash trays are big enough as is the one used by our pot head friend.
In this chilly weather, you could just lift a section of mattress up and deliver into one of the external lockers. I would have thought after a week tramping using this procedure could result in a good weekend of gardening. I do however feel sticking your bottom out out of the window in some laybys would result in your exit being blocked.
I can’t figure out how he did it without obvious problems occuring.
Maybe what was thought to be a steaming turd was actually a large smoking cigar.
I don’t like drugs, But if someone wants to smoke a joint then that’s up to them, However if they are doing it before or during driving, Then that’s another matter.
My mate was caught out some years ago when he was in a box van, so he went in the back, Wedged the roller shutter door and had a dump in a bucket.
The trouble is, Some kids locked him in. Luckily he had his phone to ring the law.
Macka Packa:
At tesco rdc in Middleton,
a spanish driver opened up his trailer ,
so we could tip his oranges.I think he forgot ,
he ■■■,d in the back of his trailer.
Nice little pile ,
that he tried to kick out the side.His load was rejected and he was banned off site.
He must have been pretty skinny, 26 pallets of oranges doesn’t leave much room for much else.
DieselDemon:
Macka Packa:
At tesco rdc in Middleton,
a spanish driver opened up his trailer ,
so we could tip his oranges.I think he forgot ,
he ■■■,d in the back of his trailer.
Nice little pile ,
that he tried to kick out the side.His load was rejected and he was banned off site.
He must have been pretty skinny, 26 pallets of oranges doesn’t leave much room for much else.
One pallet was Terry’s Chocolate Orange…
Some of the foreign drivers are complete pigs ( no that’s a bit unkind to pigs as they have no choice) l used to go to the pallet yard on Lymm truck stop regularly and the guy who runs it said he was always coming across presents left for him behind the pallets when there are perfectly good facilities there to use , Personally l was sick to death of the jam rolls taking our jobs smashing up our wagons and driving our wages down so l deiced to get out of dodge after 27 years on artics in the UK and Europe best of luck to you guys still there with the pigs Glen Saskatchewan
jonah:
Some of the foreign drivers are complete pigs ( no that’s a bit unkind to pigs as they have no choice) l used to go to the pallet yard on Lymm truck stop regularly and the guy who runs it said he was always coming across presents left for him behind the pallets when there are perfectly good facilities there to use , Personally l was sick to death of the jam rolls taking our jobs smashing up our wagons and driving our wages down so l deiced to get out of dodge after 27 years on artics in the UK and Europe best of luck to you guys still there with the pigs Glen Saskatchewan
Stop lowering the tone of a perfectly good thread with your racists claptrap, you are really the pits of this world. The art of deification from windows is a valid subject and when it becomes an Olympic sport, you wish you had taken notice as the Eastern block goes for gold, although the British government might pip them at the post with there vast experience of dumping on things that aren’t toilets.
Anyway I have an Armitage Shanks palette at home and wouldn’t ■■■ into anything else. I am sure Orys will be along soon, he is out smashing a wagon up for £1 per hour at the moment
drew128:
jonah:
Some of the foreign drivers are complete pigs ( no that’s a bit unkind to pigs as they have no choice) l used to go to the pallet yard on Lymm truck stop regularly and the guy who runs it said he was always coming across presents left for him behind the pallets when there are perfectly good facilities there to use , Personally l was sick to death of the jam rolls taking our jobs smashing up our wagons and driving our wages down so l deiced to get out of dodge after 27 years on artics in the UK and Europe best of luck to you guys still there with the pigs Glen SaskatchewanStop lowering the tone of a perfectly good thread with your racists claptrap, you are really the pits of this world. The art of deification from windows is a valid subject and when it becomes an Olympic sport, you wish you had taken notice as the Eastern block goes for gold, although the British government might pip them at the post with there vast experience of dumping on things that aren’t toilets.
Anyway I have an Armitage Shanks palette at home and wouldn’t ■■■ into anything else. I am sure Orys will be along soon, he is out smashing a wagon up for £1 per hour at the moment
PMSL
Fair play this is the funniest Chocolate Log related thread around Im sitting on a bay at Great Bear in Deeside p*****g myself laughing.
DABenji:
Fair play this is the funniest Chocolate Log related thread around Im sitting on a bay at Great Bear in Deeside p*****g myself laughing.
As long as you are only peeing, anything else get the window down fast
Nah saving that for whenthis rental truck i am in is going back
Macka Packa:
At tesco rdc in Middleton,
a spanish driver opened up his trailer ,
so we could tip his oranges.I think he forgot ,
he ■■■,d in the back of his trailer.
Nice little pile ,
that he tried to kick out the side.His load was rejected and he was banned off site.
How do you think they get them Valencia Oranges to grow to that size?
Ferr’ ilizer my dear
I do this all the time when i need a ■■■… but i draw a face on me bum first, thus looking like I’m smoking a bit fat Cuban cigar!
this is funny ■■■■ lol 