The last bit is very funny 
:):):):
You need to inclue a ‘BB only’ bit in the title so us poor dial-up victims know not to bother!! 
I hate BT (for not supplying BB to my house) and I have learned an important modern-day-life-lesson = no matter how nice the house is and no matter what a good deal it is, irrespective of how many bedrooms, en-suite, big garage and nice garden, if it doesn’t have Broadband, don’t buy it!!!
Sorry to ‘rant-off-track’!! 
nice one Gardun