rigsby:
ooh i can just imagine a " dear johnnie " website . everybody writing in for advice and guidance ! the prisons are overfull now . anon
Better just restrict it to old dears as Johnnie has a lot of experience with dealing with females Dave .
Cheers Dave.
In my experience when I offer advice to females they give me a look as if to say are you from a prehistoric age as I am not very clever with words and it is very rare that I am misunderstood as I do not know how to be politically correct I just call a spade a shovel and it gets me through.
cheers Johnnie
P S dave ( rigsby ) you may be right
rigsby:
i just hope johnnieās wife doesnāt get to read what he writes on these threads or heāll be in so much bother . like my old mum used to say " youāve got to sleep sometime" . , dave
He probably wears a hard hat most of the time .
Cheers Dave.
Dave that part of me is solid ( head ) so thats no problem
cheers Johnnie
rigsby:
i just hope johnnieās wife doesnāt get to read what he writes on these threads or heāll be in so much bother . like my old mum used to say " youāve got to sleep sometime" . , dave
He probably wears a hard hat most of the time .
Cheers Dave.
Dave that part of me is solid ( head ) so thats no problem
cheers Johnnie
You are ā ā ā ā near bullet proof then Johnnie ?
Cheers Dave.
Dave Norman would a dab hand at it as he as that smooth charming way of his and I think Harry is more in my league
she reckons I have no feelings or sensitivity as well
cheers Johnnie
Sounds as if you are handing the baton to Norm then Johnnie.He will have to run this agony and advice column and website.As you say just the job for him .
Cheers Dave.
sammyopisite:
Dave Norman would a dab hand at it as he as that smooth charming way of his and I think Harry is more in my league
she reckons I have no feelings or sensitivity as well
cheers Johnnie
Aye,let Norman do it,Iād volunteer meself but,like Johnnie,Iād just tell everybody to boll**ks and get a grip.
Well he would listen and being far more intelligent he would be able to give advice in a more acceptable way than I am capable of doing.
cheers Johnnie
sammyopisite:
Dave Norman would a dab hand at it as he as that smooth charming way of his and I think Harry is more in my league she reckons I have no feelings or sensitivity as well cheers Johnnie
Aye,let Norman do it,Iād volunteer meself but,like Johnnie,Iād just tell everybody to boll**ks and get a grip.
When we ever had the occaisional problem with a Driver it had/was always 9 out of 10 times been caused by a female either Wife or Bird gauranteed every time.Once youād help sort out his problem,bingo! calm was restored and peace prevailed.Mind sometimes I got involved,unintentionally,in cross fire and that is not a good place to be !! especially if it was the wrong āweekā and this wasnāt only a female problem !!! I could write a book !! Cheers Dennis.
sammyopisite:
Dennis it seems as though you would be able to help Norman out then as you are able to write ANON.
He could handle the fillies as in horses Johnnie.Leave the women to Norm .
Iāll tell you something Dave,in the latter years we had a workforce of circa 160 or so male employees and about 7 or 8 IIRC female office staff,and I can honestly say that the women gave us more Ag. than all the blokes put to-gether and we were extremely careful when employing female staff but we still came unstuck regularly !!! No thanks,no-way would i get involved as an āagonyā aunt 'cause Iāve had too much Aggro over the years employing the fairer ā ā ā ! Cheers Dennis.
Dave the Renegade:
Thatās it then unanimous decision Sandman Norman gets the job as the TNUK agony/advice guru
hiya,
Dear Norman I had my brain removed back in 1957 to enable me to become a lorry driver, now Iām retired is it possible to have the operation reversed ā ā , am thinking of getting a proper job at age 75 thereās a possibility thereās a spot of life in the old dog yet and I donāt wish to spend my declining years sniffing the rear ends of any stray ā ā ā ā ā ā ā .
thanks harry long retired.
Harry my man, you had far better sniff the amber necktar it will do you far more good, & not tire you out. Ive just poured myself another large one, while her indoors is upstairs, very crafty on my behalf, because when she comes down she will ask me if I want another drink, & of course I will have to say yes but this is my last one tonight dear, before I go to bed, & she pours it out of the decanter & never spills a drop, the little treasure that she is. , Regards Larry. PS, Ive got loads of brownie points, I hope I dont get caught cheeting.
right that seems to be settled then . we have norman as agony aunt , harry and larry taking care of the spirit(ual) side of things , johnnie on advice about women and chris in charge of tax advice . if you need me , iāll be in a very deep foxhole well behind the lines . forward men !!
Lawrence Dunbar:
Rigsby you are a true gent, & I would say a thinker too, Regards Larry
hiya,
Larry have taken a leaf out of your book and just āembezzledā another rather large angels water poured by my wifeās tender hand had slipped another in whilst the āold girlā took a shower and administered myself a rather large one whilst she was otherwise engaged when she returned from bathing duties she asked if I fancied another one before bed and poured me a rather skinny one which I managed to top up while she went to make herself a cuppa before bed Iām becoming a devious old git in my old age I think Iām spending too much time on this computer thingy, and letting you fellahās lead me astray,
thanks harry long retired
Harry I think you are like me, we both strayde a long time ago, before we got into this mod. tec., mind you its beats the hell out of driving, & we can drink while we are doing it, so it must be good , Eh, Regards Larry
Dear Norman,
Can you please contact alcoholics anonymous as there is a large amount of firewater being consumed by a bunch of retired lorry drivers.
Yours soberely,
Concerned from Wales.
harry and larry are banned from giving blood as the medical staff were getting tipsy on the fumes dave , and itās no use them going to alcoholics anonymous , it would end up alcoholics united with those two gentlemen , cynical , peak district
.
as I am not very clever with words and it is very rare that I am misunderstood as I do not know how to be politically correct I just call a spade a shovel and it gets me through. 
