windrush:
I officially retired at Christmas and my O.A pension has almost doubled the money I was getting as a carer before I retired, less tax of course! Problem now isâwhat do I spend it on? I donât drink or smoke, the car only gets fuelled about every three months, we have no family so I can see why retired folk say that they have problems spending the cash, yet when they were younger there was never enough to last the month? Strange old world, when you are too old to enjoy it you have loads of money, when you are young with a mortgage etc you have none! Another pension rise due in April, even more problems for me then.
Pete.
Send some over to Doveridge.Iâve been retired nearly 15yrs but still able to put hand in pocket.Mind you in a pub they are very deep.
Dave the Renegade:
Council Tax and Water Rates usually go up just before the increase Pete, also due to all the claims insurance premiums will increase. Welcome
the word of the OAP.
Cheers Dave.
Just had our council tax through Dave, got to do some negotiating with the council on that though because they get it wrong every time and Iâm not paying their figure. So far (only on paper of course!) I am theoretically better off, two weeks state pension is slightly higher than one months pay as a carer (that stopped being payed when I reached 65 of course) so I am on double bubble, but in reality I doubt that I will notice any real difference once the taxman has a slice!! Tell you what though, since turning 65 I get daily emails from an agency offering me work in Manchester of all places, never used an agency in my life but they have my email from somewhere, and ÂŁ20+ grand a year for just driving a light van or stacking shelves is tempting compared to lugging a tipper around.
I retired at the age of 61. Pension credits advised me to pass most of my savings to my son ( they were to be his anyway because I thought he would go to University and I wanted him to be debt free)
I am now officially a pensioner, and after a long spell of hospitalisation - both diabetes and cancer I am worse off. The system is against those who have saved to protect themselves. I have worked and contributed to the system for 43 years but I can only rely on my skill to see us through. The more you have the less you matter. The fact is that Cameron and his ilk can sod off. Whatever I do I am taxed and You cannot avoid that. But I have the right to COMPLAIN! Jim.
I couldnât get Pension Credit Jim, I was on income support but when I reached 60 that obviously stopped and I wasnât entitled to pension credit because âtheyâ discovered a small company pension that I didnât even know I had! That was a surprise, I queried it and found that it had been sitting in an account since the late 70âs and I suppose that if I hadnât been on benefits I would never have even known it existed!
What I had not realised until it was almost too late was that I actually had to claim my old age pension as I assumed that it would come automatically like it used to do, I nearly missed out on that one but just got in on time. It seems that more folk are not claiming it nowadays as they prefer to keep on working, then they can get it later on assuming that they live long enough.
Dave the Renegade:
Council Tax and Water Rates usually go up just before the increase Pete, also due to all the claims insurance premiums will increase. Welcome
the word of the OAP.
Cheers Dave.
Just had our council tax through Dave, got to do some negotiating with the council on that though because they get it wrong every time and Iâm not paying their figure. So far (only on paper of course!) I am theoretically better off, two weeks state pension is slightly higher than one months pay as a carer (that stopped being payed when I reached 65 of course) so I am on double bubble, but in reality I doubt that I will notice any real difference once the taxman has a slice!! Tell you what though, since turning 65 I get daily emails from an agency offering me work in Manchester of all places, never used an agency in my life but they have my email from somewhere, and ÂŁ20+ grand a year for just driving a light van or stacking shelves is tempting compared to lugging a tipper around.
Pete.
I was a local councillor for several years Pete. When the County Council re-banded the houses, my place went up two bands. The local County Councillor who also sat on the local Council said to the rest of us ââ I advise you not to contest it as you could end up paying more. I had already appealed against mine and had a valuer out and mine had already been reduced by two bands. He didnât have a lot to say, when I informed him of this in front of the meeting.
Cheers Dave.
windrush:
I officially retired at Christmas and my O.A pension has almost doubled the money I was getting as a carer before I retired, less tax of course! Problem now isâwhat do I spend it on? I donât drink or smoke, the car only gets fuelled about every three months, we have no family so I can see why retired folk say that they have problems spending the cash, yet when they were younger there was never enough to last the month? Strange old world, when you are too old to enjoy it you have loads of money, when you are young with a mortgage etc you have none! Another pension rise due in April, even more problems for me then.
Pete.
Pete, I am here to help and I have the solution to your problems. Buy lots of Islay whisky (itâs easy) and send it all to me. Job done, sorted.
grumpy old man:
Pete, I am here to help and I have the solution to your problems. Buy lots of Islay whisky (itâs easy) and send it all to me. Job done, sorted.
Oh if only my conciense would allow me to GOM, however, being a fully paid up member of the Temperance Society, it would worry me that it would have an adverse result on your health. Not to worry though, pm me your address and I can forward you some nice Robinsons Barley Water which will taste much the same (with some imagination on your part) and do you more good. You can share it with the good lady as well while snuggled up on the sofa watching Corrie. Lets be honest, if the whisky distilled in scotland was THAT good they would want to keep it for themselves and not offload it to us Sassenachâs south of the border while they enjoy the finest of whiskies and have a good laugh at us drinking the slops!
grumpy old man:
Pete, I am here to help and I have the solution to your problems. Buy lots of Islay whisky (itâs easy) and send it all to me. Job done, sorted.
Oh if only my conciense would allow me to GOM, however, being a fully paid up member of the Temperance Society, it would worry me that it would have an adverse result on your health. Not to worry though, pm me your address and I can forward you some nice Robinsons Barley Water which will taste much the same (with some imagination on your part) and do you more good. You can share it with the good lady as well while snuggled up on the sofa watching Corrie. Lets be honest, if the whisky distilled in scotland was THAT good they would want to keep it for themselves and not offload it to us Sassenachâs south of the border while they enjoy the finest of whiskies and have a good laugh at us drinking the slops!
Awaiting your pm, I can send it off tomorrow.
Pete.
Hiya,
Barley water and temperance Pete !!! donât talk dirty.
thanks harry, long retired.
grumpy old man:
Pete, I am here to help and I have the solution to your problems. Buy lots of Islay whisky (itâs easy) and send it all to me. Job done, sorted.
Oh if only my conciense would allow me to GOM, however, being a fully paid up member of the Temperance Society, it would worry me that it would have an adverse result on your health. Not to worry though, pm me your address and I can forward you some nice Robinsons Barley Water which will taste much the same (with some imagination on your part) and do you more good. You can share it with the good lady as well while snuggled up on the sofa watching Corrie. Lets be honest, if the whisky distilled in scotland was THAT good they would want to keep it for themselves and not offload it to us Sassenachâs south of the border while they enjoy the finest of whiskies and have a good laugh at us drinking the slops!
Awaiting your pm, I can send it off tomorrow.
Pete.
Hiya,
Barley water and temperance Pete !!! donât talk dirty.
thanks harry, long retired.
I should think so Iâm getting a little bit brassed off, thereâs Harry Gill asking for a loan, from a Yorkshireman (bravery of the highest order) then Pete being concerned about my health (hell man Iâll sign a disclaimer absolving you of any blame) AND THENâŚmentioning Robinsons Barley Water (whatever that is).
Iâm 77 years old and I can well do without these shocks and stress âŚ
grumpy old man:
I should think so Iâm getting a little bit brassed off, thereâs Harry Gill asking for a loan, from a Yorkshireman (bravery of the highest order) then Pete being concerned about my health (hell man Iâll sign a disclaimer absolving you of any blame) AND THENâŚmentioning Robinsons Barley Water (whatever that is).
Iâm 77 years old and I can well do without these shocks and stress âŚ
That will be a NO to my kind offer then? Robinsons is very good for you, that nice Scottish (when he loses) and British (when he occasionally wins) tennis player Andy Murray drinks it, you just canât please some folk!
grumpy old man:
I should think so Iâm getting a little bit brassed off, thereâs Harry Gill asking for a loan, from a Yorkshireman (bravery of the highest order) then Pete being concerned about my health (hell man Iâll sign a disclaimer absolving you of any blame) AND THENâŚmentioning Robinsons Barley Water (whatever that is).
Iâm 77 years old and I can well do without these shocks and stress âŚ
That will be a NO to my kind offer then? Robinsons is very good for you, that nice Scottish (when he loses) and British (when he occasionally wins) tennis player Andy Murray drinks it, you just canât please some folk!
Pete.
Hiya,
Bloody barley watter girly drink bloody tennis a girly game, no sale.
thanks harry, long retired.
Hiya,
Bloody barley watter girly drink bloody tennis a girly game, no sale.
thanks harry, long retired.
[/quote]
Hear hearâŚâbar person, a double Glenmorangie for Mr Gillâ
None of his classmates liked him cause of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, âYouâre driving me mad, Tyroneâ. One day, Tyroneâs mother went to the school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly that her son was simply a disaster, he was always getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career.
Tyroneâs mother was so shocked at the feedback that she withdrew her son from the school and they moved out of Doncaster and moved down to Oxford.
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have heart surgery, which only one surgeon who practiced in Oxford, could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful. When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her.
She wanted to thank him but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand trying to tell him something but she eventually died. The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend Tyrone, working as a cleaner in the hospital, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner!
Donât tell me that you thought Tyrone became a heart-surgeon!!!
None of his classmates liked him cause of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, âYouâre driving me mad, Tyroneâ. One day, Tyroneâs mother went to the school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly that her son was simply a disaster, he was always getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career.
Tyroneâs mother was so shocked at the feedback that she withdrew her son from the school and they moved out of Doncaster and moved down to Oxford.
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have heart surgery, which only one surgeon who practiced in Oxford, could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful. When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her.
She wanted to thank him but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand trying to tell him something but she eventually died. The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend Tyrone, working as a cleaner in the hospital, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner!
Donât tell me that you thought Tyrone became a heart-surgeon!!!
Hiya,
Ohâ yes I did, but just for a fleeting moment, and for Tyrone read Harry
thatâs just about the story of my life âtwo short planksâ.
thanks harry, long retired.
I donât believe you Harry âtwo short planksâ I bet that you were the woodwork teachers pet. Unlike me who got a zero in the woodwork exam. With hindsight maybe the wooden poker that I made for the fireplace wasnât such a good invention after all. Still, the Geography teacher was wrong when he said that I wouldnât go far.
Derek was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side.
âWhen I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was
take off my trousers,â he said. 'I gave them to your mother and told her to put them on .
When she did, they were enormous on her and she said to me that she couldnât possibly wear them,
as they were too large⌠'I told her, 'of course theyâre too big.
I wear the trousers in this family and I always will.
âEver since that day, we have never had a single problem.â
Derek took his fatherâs advice and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on.
Jill said that the trousers were too big and she couldnât possibly wear them.
âExactly,â replied Derek.âI wear the trousers in this relationship and I always will.
I donât want you to forget that.â
Jill paused and removed her knickers and gave them to Derek.
âTry these on,â she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.
âI canât possibly get into your knickers,â said Derek.
âExactly,â replied Jill.
âAnd if you donât change your bloody attitude, you never will.â
Problem now isâwhat do I spend it on?
I donât drink or smoke, the car only gets fuelled about every three months, we have no family so I can see why retired folk say that they have problems spending the cash, yet when they were younger there was never enough to last the month? Strange old world, when you are too old to enjoy it you have loads of money, when you are young with a mortgage etc you have none!
Another pension rise due in April, even more problems for me then.
Tell you what though, since turning 65 I get daily emails from an agency offering me work in Manchester of all places, never used an agency in my life but they have my email from somewhere, and ÂŁ20+ grand a year for just driving a light van or stacking shelves is tempting compared to lugging a tipper around. 
Job done, sorted. 
⌠