hiya,
thanks harry long retired.
Dave, I do not want it to cook, just get me the FROG 
hiya,
A frog that gives good head Dave, exit the missus, hello is that the Asia Garden a number 56 and a dozen flies for my partner.
thanks harry long retired.
harry_gill:
hiya,
A frog that gives good head Dave, exit the missus, hello is that the Asia Garden a number 56 and a dozen flies for my partner.
thanks harry long retired.
Stick the Frog in a pint of beer Harry,give both a few more hops.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
Keep the frog out of my beer, have you seen the price of the stuff these days, good as the frog may be it would most likely be able to quaff more than me and that would never do, i’ll stick with my old lady she drinks wine and buys her own.
thanks harry long retired.
Hi Harry,
There’s more hops in a frog,than there is in the beer they brew these days.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
Used to be more partial to a good jump than a little hop Dave, but the phantom gelder in the guise of Father Time put me in my place.
thanks harry long retired.
harry_gill:
hiya,
Used to be more partial to a good jump than a little hop Dave, but the phantom gelder in the guise of Father Time put me in my place.
thanks harry long retired.
Can’t believe that Harry,the old saying is “you can still get a tune out of an old fiddle”
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
Not so much old fiddle, in my case more ruptured old bagpipes and i doubt even a canny piper could do much with them, talking about musical instruments a pal of mine went to the docs complaining about his willie being full of holes, he had no pain and no disease but his only problem was when having a jimmy riddle he used to piddle all over his shoes the doc gave him an address of a friend of his to help my pal with his problem, not a member of the medical profession but a flautist who would show him where to put his fingers when having a ■■■■ so he would’nt ■■■■ all over the floor.
thanks harry long retired.
Harry that would not be any good to me, being I only have one good hand, with my right hand I can only manage big objects 
still if I took my shoe off, it would go over my foot, and as a ex-serviceman you know it is good for your feet. 
hiya,
Does anybody remember the old wives tale about soaking your feet in your own piddle being a good cure for chillblains my old man swore by it and regularly dipped his tootsies in the ■■■■ pot when he had a dose of the things, i would’nt go so far as to do that, i’d just invite my pal out for a jar and stand close to him when he was emptying his bladder out the back, job done.
thanks harry long retired.
Hi Harry,
Thats very true about urine toughening skin.I remember Eddie Thomas the ex boxer who later managed Howard Winstone,who became World Champion at featherweight,chatting on the radio,saying that years ago the boxers soaked their hands in urine to toughen the skin on their knuckles. Another tale Ive heard is lorry drivers dipping their willie in the diesel tank, after they come over the severn bridge to get rid of anything they caught in London or whereever. 
Cheers Dave.
Hi Dave,
I used to do that but suddenly started to feel unwell so went to the doctors, he examined me and did some tests, he looked at the results and said I hadn’t got aids but I was HGV positive
Regards Richard (Still waiting on the dock in Southampton waiting for Norman to bring you lot down for the cruise !)
MaggieD:
Hi Dave,
I used to do that but suddenly started to feel unwell so went to the doctors, he examined me and did some tests, he looked at the results and said I hadn’t got aids but I was HGV positive
Regards Richard (Still waiting on the dock in Southampton waiting for Norman to bring you lot down for the cruise !)
Hi Richard,
Better to have the G between the H&V than the I.You could have a bit of a wait on the dock,you had better find something or body to heep you warm.
Cheers Dave.
Harry & lads when they cure hides of goat skins for shoes, they use dog ■■■■ & ■■■■, I would not have believed it, it used to be in barrels, and would tip into tanks full of hot water and add a few chemicals to dissolve it, and it used to spend weeks in it, and it made the leather so soft and supple, then then would spray it any colour after it had been dried. So if your wife’s bum gets rough & hard, you now know what to do to soften it. 
Hi Norm,
Your missis would be howling at you,if you tipped her bum into hot water full of chemicals,Bet she’d soften your lughole for you.
Cheers Dave.
No Dave, always been too quick for her, she cannot keep up with me when I walk, just call me whippet quick.
hiya,
Just let her get off to sleep then ■■■■ up her back, preferably after a skinful, when she complains you can blame it on the booze, job done.
thanks harry long retired.
harry_gill:
hiya,
Just let her get off to sleep then ■■■■ up her back, preferably after a skinful, when she complains you can blame it on the booze, job done.
thanks harry long retired.
Fair play Harry,you have a wonderful way with women,did you treat all your conquests like that.
Cheers Dave.
hiya,
Dave thanks for that, if you ever want any tips on how to treat the fairer ■■■ i’m your man, all good stuff, no rubbish and i’m cheap, a sort of marriage guidance counsellor what i don’t know about maritial problems could be written on a pin head.
thanks harry long retired.