I’m young in the game, and I’ve obviously got a lot of bollox to yet hear, but I wondered if people would like to give their experiences of the ultimate load or rollox they’ve been told by another driver… The spark of this thread came a little while back when another driver said, he really liked the 26t rigid with a tag he was driving, as with them, if you drop the tag during overtaking, you can get a couple more K’s out of em! 
I just agreed with him! 
You mean thats not true■■?
Genuine phone call last week.
Hello I’m at Tesco Goole
What you doing there then?
Waiting to deliver the load I’ve been here an hour so I’m letting you know.
Which load the Tesco Reading you set off with
Ahhhh…
We all make mistakes
Mostly stuff about Vosa. The way I look at it so long as you’re not deliberately breaking the rules all the time the odd minor infringement isn’t going to cause any problems.
The usual [zb], in the RDC waiting room, big mouth Driver telling you of the time he slept on the bay, after running out of hours & they had to cone off the 2 bays either side.
Same driver usually giving it the big one about the time he Fooled VOSA with his Magnet & Special Fraudulent Digi Card Skills & the fact that he always keeps it ‘Lit’ through road works & Speed Limits.
I believe them (NOT !) [emoji12]
…That driving is such a great and well paid job - I left for an even easier / better job.
The best one I heard was on a cross-channel ferry…guy reckoned he was tipping in Moscow (not unheard of at the time) but then that he was getting a ferry from a place called Archangelski (it does exist) over to Canada for a backload. Apart from the fact that said Russian port is permanently frozen up for 6 months of the year, a ferry from there to Canada would have to navigate the North Pole.
I was only delivering to Belgium and guess who was delivering on the same Industrial Estate less than 50km from the ferry ?
Agency driver with very basic English was sent from Crick to Magor. As he left the office with the paperwork, they told him: “go onto the weighbridge first!” After the basic “Yes, boss!” answer he disappeared, did not bring the ticket back… Two and a half hours later the phone was ringing… “Hi, it’s Tesco Weybridge; why did you sent this Magor trailer here, we have got nothing to do with it…”
I can’t say to much about this due to the government secrets act… but I was delivering to a secure military installation, it can’t say anything about the load but it did have a yellow glow. When I got there the security guards couldn’t check my background as my identity had to be protected due to my SAS history. The Sargent came along and waved me threw as i had more security clearence than him… anyway I got to the office and walked in on two female officers lessing off. They panicked when I caught them and let me join in so I would keep there secret.
True story
The most ridiculous thing I have heard?
There is a national driver shortage that will push wages up, and we will all be on 100k per year for a 48 hour week.
Ken.
the PDU-UK will be good for drivers, and it is NOT a scam 
I’m starting to think the thread is going off at a tangent! 
I really like agency work I can pick and choose and I make more in 3 days than an employed driver makes in 5, I also get January and February off and I never have to wash.
mike68:
I really like agency work I can pick and choose and I make more in 3 days than an employed driver makes in 5, I also get January and February off and I never have to wash.
‘Scrambled eggs made in a microwave are best’
Only one Ive heard so far is that VOSA will fine me £1000 per turn of the landing gear that isnt fully up
The best bit of RDC bull I’ve heard was from a driver who’d been with a firm 15 years and was the top driver. As a reward he was about to pick up his brand new Scania R620, fully specked up, company credit card to spend on what he likes, didn’t have to go in the yard because he had a fax machine built in to get his orders. However once he was told he couldn’t take the truck home on an evening he told them to poke it and went to drive for Reed Boardall![emoji3]
switchlogic:
‘Scrambled eggs made in a microwave are best’
But that would be a personal preference so could well be true 
csujamie:
Only one Ive heard so far is that VOSA will fine me £1000 per turn of the landing gear that isnt fully up
That’s bollox - it’s £30 per turn
That Bking is a mechanic