Had the most embarrissing moment ever today, had a drop in bedale then one in hawe, m aking my way back towards the M6 (driving on a real road 
) i felt a slight grumble in the old bowel regions, thought nothing of it and cracked on, id been dropping â– â– â– â– â– all morning and as it went on they were getting warmer and warmer, any way i took a gamble after a few more stomach pains and lost BIG TIME, anyone whos drove from hawe to the M6 will know the roads narrow as â– â– â– â– and in places it can be a cars width wide for 1-2 miles at a time, so anyway i had no choice but to pull up and get cleaned up, had spare clothes so used what was left to mop up and was almost done when the cramps came back big time, found myself under the trailer for about 10 mins and i just couldnt turn the tap off, in the meantime a minibus full of ramblers had caame round the corner and was waiting to get past, so heres me under the trailer pebbledashing the road with nowhere to turn around in just my boots and my â– â– â– â– â– â– â– pants where in the footwell of the wagon, id never felt so embarrased in all my life, just had to count to 10 compose myself and make a dash for the cab and hope that the initial judgement that i was a perverted lorry driver â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– in the road was dismissed by the fact that the road was covered in â– â– â– â– , i backed up and let the bus passed, the looks i got were the most judgemental id ever recieved and the next 2 hours back the yard i was â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– my self that the people in the minibus were going to ring up and report me, what could i do tho it wasnt even my wagon the regular lad was off today and he keeps his cab spotless so i had to get out and clean up. worst friday ever 
May have been your worst friday but its just made mine a lot funnier.
Thanks for sharing.
Let’s hope the lad who’s lorry it is isn’t a member on here…
I had a similar with a tipping trailer on an A road years ago,got the turtles head bigtime,nowhere to go,heres a handy layby ,thatl do nicely,climbed out into the back of the trailer ( remember its an open top)…gandhis revenge and its all over bar the shouting,then a double decker bus pulls in beside me as ive abandoned the truck in a bus stop…eye contact with 30 people whilst giving your ringpiece a final scrub with a box of wetwipes isn’t my most favourite memory,but when you’ve got to go, 
Just â– â– â– â– â– â– ma self and â– â– â– â– â– â– the whole way through readin that story. Serious internal combustion. 
My moment while we re at it, liverpool docks. Main dock road,am in the trailer (tipper, no easy sheets back then.8:45am) havin a poop, along comes a double decker bus.
Bus stop opposite.
Well the rest u can imagine.
dieseldog999:
I had a similar with a tipping trailer on an A road years ago,got the turtles head bigtime,nowhere to go,heres a handy layby ,thatl do nicely,climbed out into the back of the trailer ( remember its an open top)…gandhis revenge and its all over bar the shouting,then a double decker bus pulls in beside me as ive abandoned the truck in a bus stop…eye contact with 30 people whilst giving your ringpiece a final scrub with a box of wetwipes isn’t my most favourite memory,but when you’ve got to go,
Just read D dog999. Least am no the only one lol.
rocketsquadron:
dieseldog999:
I had a similar with a tipping trailer on an A road years ago,got the turtles head bigtime,nowhere to go,heres a handy layby ,thatl do nicely,climbed out into the back of the trailer ( remember its an open top)…gandhis revenge and its all over bar the shouting,then a double decker bus pulls in beside me as ive abandoned the truck in a bus stop…eye contact with 30 people whilst giving your ringpiece a final scrub with a box of wetwipes isn’t my most favourite memory,but when you’ve got to go,Just read D dog999. Least am no the only one lol.
theres a lot of it about…
dieseldog999:
rocketsquadron:
dieseldog999:
I had a similar with a tipping trailer on an A road years ago,got the turtles head bigtime,nowhere to go,heres a handy layby ,thatl do nicely,climbed out into the back of the trailer ( remember its an open top)…gandhis revenge and its all over bar the shouting,then a double decker bus pulls in beside me as ive abandoned the truck in a bus stop…eye contact with 30 people whilst giving your ringpiece a final scrub with a box of wetwipes isn’t my most favourite memory,but when you’ve got to go,Just read D dog999. Least am no the only one lol.
theres a lot of it about…
What poopin, or poopin in tippers 
Opposite bus stops smsl
I hope neither of those two was hauling feedstuffs or grain. Declaring what their last three loads were in that trailer could have been a bit interesting!
dieseldog999:
I had a similar with a tipping trailer on an A road years ago,got the turtles head bigtime,nowhere to go,heres a handy layby ,thatl do nicely,climbed out into the back of the trailer ( remember its an open top)…gandhis revenge and its all over bar the shouting,then a double decker bus pulls in beside me as ive abandoned the truck in a bus stop…eye contact with 30 people whilst giving your ringpiece a final scrub with a box of wetwipes isn’t my most favourite memory,but when you’ve got to go,
That old chestnut,i wish i had a pound for everytime ive been told that tale by old tippermen 
Don t panic boys, theres no sneaky jobbies ur oor weetabix .
It was coal next for Outybridge, toilet roll factory which is quite ironic.
Another lad used to do it in old chip boxes, right in the corner. Than when somebody else tipped it they had to get right in the corner and clean out by hand. Boy used to go mental. The boss just laughed 
Top post, laughed like anything.
Brilliant.
An old time driver on Smiths years ago had similar…He parked up for a dump, his running mate parked up behind to reduce public embarassment, does the business, pulls up his old school overalls and splats the back of his head in fresh turd. He’d opened the bombay doors too early and scored a direct hit on the hooded area.
seth 70:
dieseldog999:
I had a similar with a tipping trailer on an A road years ago,got the turtles head bigtime,nowhere to go,heres a handy layby ,thatl do nicely,climbed out into the back of the trailer ( remember its an open top)…gandhis revenge and its all over bar the shouting,then a double decker bus pulls in beside me as ive abandoned the truck in a bus stop…eye contact with 30 people whilst giving your ringpiece a final scrub with a box of wetwipes isn’t my most favourite memory,but when you’ve got to go,That old chestnut,i wish i had a pound for everytime ive been told that tale by old tippermen
possibly its a popular story because it was a popular pastime,i have another variation on the same theme when I was fishing off a pier,needed to go in a hurry,climbed down in my best spiderman impression beneath the pier,legs akimbo happily content with the ensuing relief,then the ferry from arran came up alongside with me level with the bar area portholes,have many fishermen or salty seadogs told you that one??
Best post ever! I reckon only wagon drivers could enjoy a good laugh about getting caught having a crafty Sir Douglas by a group of innocent ramblers haha. Anyone else would never mention it out of shame.
I’m afraid I haven’t got any good driving based Eartha stories but I did once explosivley follow through whilst unplugging an old couples telly when I was on the repairs…I can still remember their embarresed looks but they didn’t say anything. Gawd the smell though…perhaps they blamed each other.
Great post Plugster!
Muckaway:
An old time driver on Smiths years ago had similar…He parked up for a dump, his running mate parked up behind to reduce public embarassment, does the business, pulls up his old school overalls and splats the back of his head in fresh turd. He’d opened the bombay doors too early and scored a direct hit on the hooded area.
Am â– â– â– â– â– â– cryin readin this.
That much folk r lookin at me thinkin, nutter.
dieseldog999:
seth 70:
dieseldog999:
I had a similar with a tipping trailer on an A road years ago,got the turtles head bigtime,nowhere to go,heres a handy layby ,thatl do nicely,climbed out into the back of the trailer ( remember its an open top)…gandhis revenge and its all over bar the shouting,then a double decker bus pulls in beside me as ive abandoned the truck in a bus stop…eye contact with 30 people whilst giving your ringpiece a final scrub with a box of wetwipes isn’t my most favourite memory,but when you’ve got to go,That old chestnut,i wish i had a pound for everytime ive been told that tale by old tippermen
possibly its a popular story because it was a popular pastime,i have another variation on the same theme when I was fishing off a pier,needed to go in a hurry,climbed down in my best spiderman impression beneath the pier,legs
akimbo happily content with the ensuing relief,then the ferry from arran
came up alongside with me level with the bar area portholes,have many
fishermen or salty seadogs told you that one??
Pmsl litterly.
Done the ‘business’ in a tipper a few times when I suffered from IBS, luckily without an audience though! 
Funniest one I saw was when were on a construction site and a lad squatted down in the hedge bottom to do the neccessary, his mate was the oposite side of the hedge and shoved his shovel through the hedge just when the ‘load’ was dropped. Made us laugh when the lad stood up and wondered where it had all suddenly vanished to and he even dropped his kecks again to double check!!!
Joking apart though the lack of public toilets available on the main highways is very poor, there used to be a set on the A45 at Stonebridge Island that was a regular stop but they have long gone. I suppose vandalism is the reason, councils can’t justify weekly repairs when scrotes wreck the places or burn them down.
Pete,
I suffer from IBS and at its worse it can be instantaneous.
When driving through France on the A16 i didnt make it far past the boarder from Belgium, ran into the layby on the right drew the curtains as it was full of cars and let go. Into a carrier bag it went and came straight back out of the holes placed in them to stop child suffocation.
To say i was fuming was an understatement as liquid sheeite smears over a plastic floored cab rather than wipes away.
^^^ T M I