Me and my big mouth

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS THE UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUM (INTERACTIVE)
1

We were all in the office, about a month ago, when the subject of modern lorries came up – again.

During the course of the conversation I happened to put forward the opinion that a lot of lorry drivers these days, couldn’t drive old lorries if their lives depended on it: leaf-springs, hydraulic brakes, crash boxes etc. compared with the modern lorries which are all computer controlled this, automatic that and power assisted the other.

A few of the younger guys agreed that they almost certainly couldn’t – but, by the same token, that after having passed my test in 19 hundred and (cough, cough) [ sorry, bad cold :slight_smile:] I would have so many bad habits that I’d never pass a test in a month of Sundays.

A challenge? Never could resist a challenge. . . . . . . . so, money where mouth is!

Had a word with a few people and we came up with the following:-

A local training firm would give me an hours “You need to do this/God, don’t do that” type ‘refresher’ FOC and a DSA examiner friend would take me on a ‘test’ in his own time and assess as per the current standard.

In return, if I ‘passed’ all the guys in the office would club together and make a £500 donation to charity – if I failed then I would donate £250 of my own money to said charity.

---- GULP ----

Had my “test” last night and after an hour of driving like a total [zb], I …

Passed - WITH A CLEAN SHEET!!

But, more than anything, can I say that, regardless of anything – I don’t ---- ever, ever, ever — want to do that again!
:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

2

Be carefully with that big mouth of your s

Gratz on yer test.

3

Dan ze Man:
Be carefully with that big mouth of your s

Gratz on yer test.

Thanks.

On the flip side, I should, by now, be big enough and old enough to have leaned to keep my gob firmly shut! :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue:

4

Win-Stone:
We were all in the office, about a month ago, when the subject of modern lorries came up – again.

During the course of the conversation I happened to put forward the opinion that a lot of lorry drivers these days, couldn’t drive old lorries if their lives depended on it: leaf-springs, hydraulic brakes, crash boxes etc. compared with the modern lorries which are all computer controlled this, automatic that and power assisted the other.

A few of the younger guys agreed that they almost certainly couldn’t – but, by the same token, that after having passed my test in 19 hundred and (cough, cough) [ sorry, bad cold :slight_smile:] I would have so many bad habits that I’d never pass a test in a month of Sundays.

A challenge? Never could resist a challenge. . . . . . . . so, money where mouth is!

Had a word with a few people and we came up with the following:-

A local training firm would give me an hours “You need to do this/God, don’t do that” type ‘refresher’ FOC and a DSA examiner friend would take me on a ‘test’ in his own time and assess as per the current standard.

In return, if I ‘passed’ all the guys in the office would club together and make a £500 donation to charity – if I failed then I would donate £250 of my own money to said charity.

---- GULP ----

Had my “test” last night and after an hour of driving like a total [zb], I …

Passed - WITH A CLEAN SHEET!!

But, more than anything, can I say that, regardless of anything – I don’t ---- ever, ever, ever — want to do that again!
:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Brilliant!! Then there’s hope for those of us who just might have said, or at least thought, the same thing! :laughing: :laughing: Absolutely delighted you passed. Robert

5

How many of us would pass if we had to take our test again?

6

Fair play to you for shouting your mouth and backing it up. Plenty guys (lots on here!) are great at writing cheques their talent can’t cash. :smiley:

What charity are you giving the money too?

7

jellybelly:
How many of us would pass if we had to take our test again?

i have had to pass the driver assessments of a lot of firms over the years from tesco to dhl etc

i think the driver tests should be done in old style trucks like using an eton twin split box that would soon show up how many people could pass a 1 test or not but its never going to happen, in these automatics the test is easy, the only thing many of us will have is bad habits like one hand driving or scratching our nuts as we drive along or like me having a pee in a cut off plastic bottle as i drove along

i suppose i would have to make sure i didn’t do that sort of thing on a test day, if i am honest the only thing that would worry me about the test is the hazard perception test they now have to take i dont understand that test at all, as i see everything out on the road as a hazard yet from what i have seen with my son doing his car test not everything on the road is a hazard and for me i would click the moment i see something which would be well down the road but it would be wrong ? as it would be to soon to click lol

how did you do with that side of the test ?

8

desypete:
if i am honest the only thing that would worry me about the test is the hazard perception test they now have to take i dont understand that test at all, as i see everything out on the road as a hazard yet from what i have seen with my son doing his car test not everything on the road is a hazard and for me i would click the moment i see something which would be well down the road but it would be wrong ? as it would be to soon to click lol

how did you do with that side of the test ?

Didn’t. Only did the practical test… and that was bad enough - thank you! The training guys basically said that, if you’ve been driving for any length of time, the hazard perception is a “joke”… and, apparently if you’re a lorry driver, it’s even worse. The boss of the firm said that one of his instructors took it - to prove a point - and failed miserably. He only got something like 15%. Apparently the machine doesn’t “register” a ‘hazard’ which is more than about 50 something yards away so, as a lorry driver we can see something hundreds of yards away and click on the ‘hazard’ but the machine will not register it and then fails you - because you didn’t see it! :open_mouth: :open_mouth:

As far as I’m aware the plan is to give the money to Comic Relief.

9

Win-Stone:
Apparently the machine doesn’t “register” a ‘hazard’ which is more than about 50 something yards away so, as a lorry driver we can see something hundreds of yards away and click on the ‘hazard’ but the machine will not register it and then fails you - because you didn’t see it! :open_mouth: :open_mouth:

As far as I’m aware the plan is to give the money to Comic Relief.

thats what i am on about, its crazy that test and i am sure we would all fail it.

well done on giving up some money mate at least some good came out of it all

10

desypete:

Win-Stone:
Apparently the machine doesn’t “register” a ‘hazard’ which is more than about 50 something yards away so, as a lorry driver we can see something hundreds of yards away and click on the ‘hazard’ but the machine will not register it and then fails you - because you didn’t see it! :open_mouth: :open_mouth:

As far as I’m aware the plan is to give the money to Comic Relief.

thats what i am on about, its crazy that test and i am sure we would all fail it.

well done on giving up some money mate at least some good came out of it all

As I have just done my Theory and Haz. Perception I can confirm that the latter is a pile of donkey t*rd :smiley:

The way it is now presented, i.e. full CGI is a LOT better than the older, filmed clips (which obviously pixelated and allowed you to see bat-sh*t in the distance) - but as has been pointed out in earlier replies, the overall ‘concept’ of the test is fundamentally flawed.
You pretty much HAVE to have practised and understood what is required of you before doing it, or you almost guaranteed to fail (like the ^^ aforementioned examiner).

The problem lies in the fact that there are multiple hazards during the clip (just like in daily driving) but only 1 of them will develop into a situation which makes you slow down or change direction. So, they want you to click on all potential hazards, BUT at the same time you are not allowed to over-click, or click in a pattern as the computer will award you a big fat 0 for that clip for ‘cheating’ :open_mouth:
The worst part however, is that each clip has scoring bands (from 5 to 0) - BUT as somebody mentioned, an experienced driver will see a hazard well ahead and usually would end up clicking too early (and so not registering his click in the scoring band) and score 0. And believe me, you don’t need many of those before you are in the do-daa.
For LGV, you need 67/100 and there are 19 clips (1 clip has 2 hazards) - so 20 * 5 to 0 available. So basically you need to score a lot of 4’s and a few 3’s minimum.
As I said, get a few 0’s and you really need a good few 5’s to make up.

As far as I can make out, it may be a reasonable test for a new car driver - but once you have a few years of driving behind you it makes very little sense.
Aside from anything else, this whole concept is fully examined and tested in your practical - and I mean, if you can’t spot Hazards there, then I’m pretty sure your Examiner will be ‘inviting’ you to pull-over and get out…

Jon

11

Win-Stone:

Dan ze Man:
Be carefully with that big mouth of your s

Gratz on yer test.

Thanks.

On the flip side, I should, by now, be big enough and old enough to have leaned to keep my gob firmly shut! :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue:

:smiley: :smiley: young enuf to be full of pith and vineger and old enuf to no better :sunglasses:

12

Well done mate.

sooner you than me though, I’ve got more chance of ■■■■■■■ in the queens handbag than passing the test again.

13

I got so bored on my Haz test, I noticed the price of petrol as the camera car was passing a petrol station.

14

Congratulations on your pass!

When you said that younger drivers couldn’t drive older stuff, that got my old memory cells working. Does anyone remember someone on here was asking for younger drivers to have a go in some classic trucks?

15

been driving since I was 17,9 yrs on vans and 7.5 tonne, 25 yrs hgv,i don’t mind admitting I would never be able to drive a vehicle with a crash box,bad enough with an eaton splitter in my early years for fedex

16

truckman020:
been driving since I was 17,9 yrs on vans and 7.5 tonne, 25 yrs hgv,i don’t mind admitting I would never be able to drive a vehicle with a crash box,bad enough with an eaton splitter in my early years for fedex

The obvious question is ---- how many modern ‘drivers’ can actually drive
I’ve always maintained that modern lorries are too easy to drive, and that you should have to learn and take your test in something like, for example, an old Atkinson. That would sort the Men from the Boys!
Can you imagine some of the guys these days if you presented them with leaf springs, squab seats (at best), hydraulic brakes (gulp!), crash boxes with eaton splitters et al??
Pound to a penny that there’s be gear-boxes etc scattered all over the countrie’s roads!
:smiley: :smiley:

17

On my has test one of the scenarios was the old a5 going from rushden into higham ferrers in northants where I grew up as a child.

I spent more time seeing whether the old fish and chip was still on the left band side as you went up the hill that I forgot to look for the hazards! (It was, 40 years on)

Happy days …

18

Nice one

19

Good on you mate, now, when will your refurbished Atkinson Borderer turn up in the yard for you?

20

Win-Stone:

truckman020:
been driving since I was 17,9 yrs on vans and 7.5 tonne, 25 yrs hgv,i don’t mind admitting I would never be able to drive a vehicle with a crash box,bad enough with an eaton splitter in my early years for fedex

The obvious question is ---- how many modern ‘drivers’ can actually drive
I’ve always maintained that modern lorries are too easy to drive, and that you should have to learn and take your test in something like, for example, an old Atkinson. That would sort the Men from the Boys!
Can you imagine some of the guys these days if you presented them with leaf springs, squab seats (at best), hydraulic brakes (gulp!), crash boxes with eaton splitters et al??
Pound to a penny that there’s be gear-boxes etc scattered all over the countrie’s roads!
:smiley: :smiley:
[/quote]
agree with that,funny thing is I love the Atkinson borderer,i would love to drive one having never done it,like all lorries from the 60s/70s they look like a real mans motor