Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
On a couple of occasions i’ve got a bit of a friendly game going. Each driver must try to come up with a tale (true or not) that is more far fetched than the last one. It’s a good way to pass the time.
The trouble is, There is always some ■■■■ that walks in and thinks he’s smarter than everyone else, He then gobs off about all the BS that he’s hearing, But he’s so smart that he can’t get to grips with the fact that the lads are just having a bit of fun.
One of those smart arse dicks is related to me, He often asks why i believe all this [zb]? The trouble is, he still can’t get his head round the fact that there is a difference between believing it and just repeating a funny story.
yep num 3 has to be the winner ive heard 1 and 2 before but number 3 has to be a new one on me never heard of that one and ive being doing fridges for 14 years so now ive learn something thanks lol
C+E driver gets pulled over on M25 by VOSA 4x4.
After giving out “clean bill of health” from ensuing spot-check on vehicle roadworthiness, Official hands out £60 citation for stopping on the hard shoulder for reasons other than “in an emergency”.
“You are not obliged to stop unless told to do so by a police officer in Uniform. I am neither, as I am an off-duty compliance officer only acting in an overzealous manner, so you should have ignored me. You cannot citizen’s arrest me for impersonating a police officer, because such power has already been mitigated away to Brussels.”
That was a party political broadcast on behalf of the unseat your current MP party.
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
Number one was genuinely told to me by a Stobart Driver Trainer when I was Tramping for them a few years ago. It was a two day induction and counted for 14 hours DCPC!
Number two was told to me about 6-7 years ago when I’d only been driving about a year or two and was wet behind the ears. I must admit, I completely believed him for a year or two until I started coming on here!
Number three is a belter and I may use that myself if I find myself in an RDC waiting room in the near future.
The funny thing is, that they started to discuss the Eddie Stobart TV programme and No3 declares that is all made up and “don’t believe a word in it”
Oh the irony!
Said driver delayed in heavy traffic on the M25 witnesses a cow/pig/sheep (delete as appropriate) ■■■■ from a Cattlewagon into a Audi/M3/SAAB (delete as appropriate) cabriolet waiting in the adjacent lane…
I actually think that I deserve a bull crap accreditation of my own because I can claim that I was told that particular urban myth by a sentinent human being with witnesses present.
At Sports Direct near Mansfield last week there was a youngish lad trying to explain to the Polish girl in there that he couldn’t back onto his allocated bay because his truck was too low. He then turned to the bloke next to him and said that Sports Direct fined his company £500 everytime they sent a 7.5 tonner because of the hassle, and that as a result of this, the company he was driving for were actually paying to make the delivery. He then said he’s been in about 15 times already this year! All said with a straight face and a well executed “I don’t understand” look on his face.
After he’d gone, the guy he’d been talking to looked at me and just said “there’s lying, and there’s nonsense…that was both!”
Born Idle:
At Sports Direct near Mansfield last week there was a youngish lad trying to explain to the Polish girl in there that he couldn’t back onto his allocated bay because his truck was too low. He then turned to the bloke next to him and said that Sports Direct fined his company £500 everytime they sent a 7.5 tonner because of the hassle, and that as a result of this, the company he was driving for were actually paying to make the delivery. He then said he’s been in about 15 times already this year! All said with a straight face and a well executed “I don’t understand” look on his face.
After he’d gone, the guy he’d been talking to looked at me and just said “there’s lying, and there’s nonsense…that was both!”
Why do you think Mike Ashleigh is so rich
Thats allright, coz I was having a coffee (rdc style) with a mate of the europe MD off DHL, all I can say is , the Europe MD off DHL ought to throw his mate a bob or two for a shower and a change claen clothes bs alert
Ive got just the thing in my cab for peeps who tell these tall truckers tales, a cow that moos that came from a maccyd’s kids meal that takes atrip into the waiting room with me ,
was in the waiting room of a certain supermakets rdc in bedford a few months back when the , tale of, missing the herald of free enterprise tale was told,I butted in with can i say something , out came the cow and several moos later the waiting room was in roars of laughter
Not sure how many times I’ve heard the one about the German driver trying to be first on the ferry so goes ragging down the link span overtaking everything, hitting the brakes once he’s on board only to aquaplane on the wet deck straight through the front / back doors which were open to vent the fumes, plunging into the drink and bringing the port to a grinding halt!
A complete load of bull, but from the number of times I’ve heard it, many people must have witnessed it!
Heard a nice variation on the cattle truck in a traffic jam once as well…
A tanker collecting blood from an abattoir stationary on a motorway queue on a very hot day (proof it’s a load of crap) driver telling tale (sat a few doors back from tanker and happens to know what that particular company does) notices hatches on tank top rattling and knows the contents are expanding in the heat, so pulls his roof hatch shut just as the blood sprays out the top covering all the convertibles / cars with windows open surrounding tanker.
A freight drivers restaurant on a ferry beats any RDC for BS hands down!
Derf:
Heard a nice variation on the cattle truck in a traffic jam once as well…
A tanker collecting blood from an abattoir stationary on a motorway queue on a very hot day (proof it’s a load of crap) driver telling tale (sat a few doors back from tanker and happens to know what that particular company does) notices hatches on tank top rattling and knows the contents are expanding in the heat, so pulls his roof hatch shut just as the blood sprays out the top covering all the convertibles / cars with windows open surrounding tanker.
!
Thats a new one to me, that is fantastic
There’s a fualty towers scene where Basil is jumping up and down on the floor, a shrink who’s staying, looks at his wife and states “there’s a whole conference in that man”, these bs merchants often bring that sentence to my mind
The old Fleetwood boat a breeding ground for compulsive liars …Billyliar from Connollys undisputed king of the ■■■■■■■■■■■ ( Editor of the ■■■■■■■■■■■ Monthly Gazette) that man could lie in his sleep he was that good
bs alert 