Did you hear the one about the tanker on the highspeed ferry to Ireland that rolled out of the back when the ferry accelerated away from the dock?
I thought it was ■■■■■■■■ then I realised it was coming out of the radio…and had actually happened!
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
- The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
- The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
- But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
Thank you v much. This just made me ■■■■. I find it funny how these “drivers” can’t come up with a bit of originality.
Talking of the cattle pee tales, I’ve seen a woman in a convertible attempt to put the roof up in quick time as pee was pouring from a cattle truck, so maybe she heard the stories too?
One bs theory/myth I recall was someone absolutely convinced that cds in your windscreen confused speed cameras.
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
- The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
- The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
- But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
I’ve heard many variations of these stories, i’ve witnessed them being told first hand and witnessed them told third hand as you’ve just done. I’ve come to one conclusion. They’re replicated by people who don’t have a lot to say but would like to ,and they would like to impress someone with their knowledge and perception.
So how its suposed to work is you relay the story, then the recipent is supposed to think…yeah he’s not soft, he see’s through all this ■■■■■■■■ and really knows what he’s on about. And it sort of elevates the story teller to an intellectual status, even though he’s moronically repeating ■■■■■■■■ and he knows it. The recipient of the ■■■■■■■■ accepts it as a bit of entertainment, but, not wanting to offend the story teller accepts it as a fact.
Anyway, it was a great story. I wonder why they say such stuff !!! 
Mike-C:
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
- The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
- The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
- But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
I’ve heard many variations of these stories, i’ve witnessed them being told first hand and witnessed them told third hand as you’ve just done. I’ve come to one conclusion. They’re replicated by people who don’t have a lot to say but would like to ,and they would like to impress someone with their knowledge and perception.
So how its suposed to work is you relay the story, then the recipent is supposed to think…yeah he’s not soft, he see’s through all this [zb] and really knows what he’s on about. And it sort of elevates the story teller to an intellectual status, even though he’s moronically repeating [zb] and he knows it. The recipient of the [zb] accepts it as a bit of entertainment, but, not wanting to offend the story teller accepts it as a fact.
Anyway, it was a great story. I wonder why they say such stuff !!!
Pretty much hit the nail on the head. When I was young and green, I used to listen to these ‘old soaks’, once I had a bit of experience under my belt I would keep myself to myself and bury myself in a book with a coffee on the boat / train, but you can’t help keep an ear out for the fanciful tales one driver would be spouting to another on the next table.
Either way you can’t help but admire the way these stories were repeated as first hand or the variances used to personalise them. The language and vocal expressions used when telling them is an art in itself even if the content is pure fantasy.
I’ve heard a tale about a lowloader driver who hadn’t chained a 20t 360 on and it skid off whilst going round the roundabout landing upright at the edge of the roundabout. Driver circles the roundabout and stops to collect it, passing police stop to see what’s happening and the driver tells them “Just collecting this machine” Police then direct traffic whilst he loads it.
I’ve heard that same story a good few times around here, losing the machine and reloading is probably true, not sure about the rest. Still a good story though.
GasGas:
Did you hear the one about the tanker on the highspeed ferry to Ireland that rolled out of the back when the ferry accelerated away from the dock?I thought it was ■■■■■■■■ then I realised it was coming out of the radio…and had actually happened!
Indeed it had:
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
- The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
- The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
- But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
Point 1 … It is infact breaking the law to have the bottom of the landing gear lower than 8 inches above the ground in some cases, Hazmat loads for instance.
Point 2… I once ran out of hours in Argos RDC in Bridgwater and the police were called because I refused to move, they inspected my card and backed me up, then when I returned to the site after a meal and security wouldn’t let me in the police came again and escorted me to my truck. So not all these stories are in fact BS.
Pat Hasler:
Point 1 … It is infact breaking the law to have the bottom of the landing gear lower than 8 inches above the ground in some cases, Hazmat loads for instance.
Pat can you point to the relevant law on that? I’d be interested to see it. Maybe DieselDave knows something?
Driveroneuk:
Pat Hasler:
Point 1 … It is infact breaking the law to have the bottom of the landing gear lower than 8 inches above the ground in some cases, Hazmat loads for instance.Pat can you point to the relevant law on that? I’d be interested to see it. Maybe DieselDave knows something?
Possibly this is an American thing.
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
- The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
- The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
- But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
Having had the joy (once) of a lengthy wait in Iceland Swindon, I can only assume it was a fairly harmless way of passing the time…
Pat Hasler:
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
- The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
- The man that ran out of time in a RDC and the police came and cordoned of his lorry and the 2 beside him so he could have 11 hours off, very nice of them
- But the winner and my favourite for sheer originality was the poor trucker who was fined £270 by vosa for…wait for it… His fridge wasn’t freezing properly and when the vosa man open the back doors he could tell because there wasn’t enough “white smoke stuff” coming out of trailer. Gentlemen I salute you.
Point 1 … It is infact breaking the law to have the bottom of the landing gear lower than 8 inches above the ground in some cases, Hazmat loads for instance.
Point 2… I once ran out of hours in Argos RDC in Bridgwater and the police were called because I refused to move, they inspected my card and backed me up, then when I returned to the site after a meal and security wouldn’t let me in the police came again and escorted me to my truck. So not all these stories are in fact BS.
Point 2
Happened a couple of times at some sites with only one or two bays and disruped loading of trailers.
Had one driver an ex copper who knew all about this demanded that his wheels were chalked etc.
We asked him to uncouple and we would shunt his trailer over once loaded and he could park in a safe bay out of the way.
Wouldn’t entertain it wouldn’t get out of his cab only wiling to talk through the window he was having 11 hours and there was nothing we could do about it.
Ok chalked his wheels for him he seemed happy and smug that we done that for him.
Then to guarentee his well being we dropped a trailer across the front of him.
He had his 11 hours alright we made sure of it for him.
His boss wasn’t to happy there was talk of the trailer missing the boat costs which would be passed back to them as clearly they planned a driver who couldn’t complete the work when scheduled.
And he was banned for a H&S Violation as there was no sleeping alowed on sites (He’d signed for a copy of he H&S rules on arrival staing this and mention if your out of hours).
Had he had a five minute conversation when he arrived he could have dropped his trailer been loaded and it would have been shunted off the bay.
As it was he decided to become a resident of ■■■■■■■ town and bang on about his knowledge of the law.
Works both ways
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
- The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
I was told this by tutor on c.p.c course today . I did question how true it is, he said it is
dar1976:
Driveroneuk:
Pat Hasler:
Point 1 … It is infact breaking the law to have the bottom of the landing gear lower than 8 inches above the ground in some cases, Hazmat loads for instance.Pat can you point to the relevant law on that? I’d be interested to see it. Maybe DieselDave knows something?
Possibly this is an American thing.
Hazmat is American, however a trailer with underslung springs for tank containers has much lower ground clearance, these are often used on gas tankers and top discharge tanks which generally carry the nasty stuff
Soldier z:
Point 2Happened a couple of times at some sites with only one or two bays and disruped loading of trailers.
Had one driver an ex copper who knew all about this demanded that his wheels were chalked etc.
We asked him to uncouple and we would shunt his trailer over once loaded and he could park in a safe bay out of the way.
Wouldn’t entertain it wouldn’t get out of his cab only wiling to talk through the window he was having 11 hours and there was nothing we could do about it.
Ok chalked his wheels for him he seemed happy and smug that we done that for him.
Then to guarentee his well being we dropped a trailer across the front of him.
He had his 11 hours alright we made sure of it for him.
His boss wasn’t to happy there was talk of the trailer missing the boat costs which would be passed back to them as clearly they planned a driver who couldn’t complete the work when scheduled.
And he was banned for a H&S Violation as there was no sleeping alowed on sites (He’d signed for a copy of he H&S rules on arrival staing this and mention if your out of hours).Had he had a five minute conversation when he arrived he could have dropped his trailer been loaded and it would have been shunted off the bay.
As it was he decided to become a resident of [zb] town and bang on about his knowledge of the law.
Works both ways
Hope it was a fridge. Running. On Start/stop…
r627higg:
sammy:
Walked into the waiting room in Iceland Swindon and into what I assume is a competition to find the biggest ■■■■■■■■■■■.
The nominations are
- The man that was fined for not having his legs wound all the way up, £60 per turn apparently
I was told this by tutor on c.p.c course today . I did question how true it is, he said it is
And the follow up question should have been … Which gear?
Derf:
A freight drivers restaurant on a ferry beats any RDC for BS hands down!
This is very true! Seems people who spend a lot of time on their on have a very vivid imagination!
I heard one in the yard last night. A friend of a friend of someone’s sisters brothers boyfriend of a colleague was done £30 for each buckle loose on the curtain . . . . . . . Was time to breath, and walk away.
I remember once I landed in my helicopter at an RDC waiting to get my Radio-active flying belt offloaded and whist having a cup of tea heard so much crap I was astonished, the stories some drivers tell 
Just before Xmas last year I snapped my yellow airline when turning out of an industrial estate one morning. I had just been loaded with steel coils and was heading back to my yard for that evening with a good 400 mile trip ahead of me.
Anyway, Vosa saw it all happen and pulled up behind me, he asked what unit I had, I told him scania R500 and he got his book out with all the truck makes and models and he says “yep your ok” apparently you are allowed to carry on without any trailer brakes when you have a 5 stage exhaust brake or jake brake.
So I was allowed to carry on and get back to base that evening.