…because I’ve got the hands of a 6-week-old baby, the arms of a full-grown orangutan, and two UJs for an elbow, nor to mention X-ray vision.
VW Sharan OSF parking light. Anyone done worse?
Apart from Focus NS headlight.
And Discovery 2 tail lights.
bloomin’ Scanias… ■■
My Brother in Law told me about a work colleague who ended up having to remove the front body panels on his 55 plate Cadillac saloon to replace a headlamp bulb.
This car was basically a Saab 95/Vauxhall Vectra so there is a whiff of BS and or gross stupidity
I used to have a Jeep Cherokee ('51 plate) and the nearside headlight was an absolute ■■■■ to replace. About an inch of clearance from the battery to the bulb holder and even trying to get the clip off was a nightmare.
I’ll get you to do my Citroen C5 next time either headlight bulb goes as it takes Halfords about 20 mins per bulb but they do it without removing anything. Citroen garage take the bumper off from what they said and remove the lighting unit. Did try it myself once and I’ve got the wrists of a 5 year old, but gave up after an hour.
Did take one garage around 2 hours to replace the driver-side one after taking off the bumper, grill, moving the hydraulic suspension reservoir + pump system and the lighting unit. Said it’d cost £50 + bulb the next time! 
Easiest - Peugeot 206 which I can replace myself in less than 5 mins including part removing the washer bottle.
bigdave789:
My Brother in Law told me about a work colleague who ended up having to remove the front body panels on his 55 plate Cadillac saloon to replace a headlamp bulb.
This car was basically a Saab 95/Vauxhall Vectra so there is a whiff of BS and or gross stupidity
You’re supposed to take the front bumper off and remove the headlight unit on the Vectra to change bulbs and I believe this is how Vauxhall do it which makes it cost a fortune.
If you aren’t a twunt you can take the airbox out and get into the o/s and the washer bottle neck for the n/s. Its a bit tricky and you end up with grazed knuckles but its a lot easier than stripping the front end.
A.
Disocovery 2 tail Lights? It’s only 4 screws!
Adonis.:
bigdave789:
My Brother in Law told me about a work colleague who ended up having to remove the front body panels on his 55 plate Cadillac saloon to replace a headlamp bulb.
This car was basically a Saab 95/Vauxhall Vectra so there is a whiff of BS and or gross stupidityYou’re supposed to take the front bumper off and remove the headlight unit on the Vectra to change bulbs and I believe this is how Vauxhall do it which makes it cost a fortune.
If you aren’t a twunt you can take the airbox out and get into the o/s and the washer bottle neck for the n/s. Its a bit tricky and you end up with grazed knuckles but its a lot easier than stripping the front end.
A.
top gear should of covered this one, 
Removal/refitting the front bumper is a pish take especially when the car reaches 10+years old, though due to the build quality in this throwaway world we have to live in not many will still be on the roads by that time,
Mk1/1.5 focus easy just leave bottom bolt out after first time 
The bulbs on my Premium are dead easy to change. Not had to change a bulb on a car yet though.
Trukkertone:
bloomin’ Scanias… ■■
Scania’s bulbs are fairly easy to get too I find, apart from the indicator on the front step. Changing the headlamp bulb is often made more difficult by bozo’s trying to unscrew Torx screws with a standard screwdriver and rounding off the head 
But then again, what the purpose of Torx screw heads anyway?
We get different bulbs all the time. Usually from the same agency.
rob22888:
Trukkertone:
bloomin’ Scanias… ■■Scania’s bulbs are fairly easy to get too I find, apart from the indicator on the front step.
Why? It’s just clipped in and pushes out dead easy.
Had to change the O/S bulb on the wifes mini cooper the weekend.
Now bear in mind this is a 2 minute job there is a 30 minute consultation period which goes something like this.
Upon returning home after a 70 hour week (being a box jockey thats 20 hours proper work, 50 hours break) I was expecting to be welcomed into the open legs of my beloved. But instead was informed that a bulb needed replacing on her car so I could accompany her on this weeks big shop.
Well having done a few Tesco RDC’s this week you can imagine my excitement at yet another visit to the home of the walking dead where the male of the species trundle round 2 steps behind their wives looking suicidal whilst the female gropes all the fruit and veg (this is not a euphamism) only to select the original specimen they fondled in the first place.
Dont get me started on the packing procedure once the escape is in sight after the till zombie has scanned every item and er in doors has phorensically checked the receipt.
Anyway back to the bulb, well I made the schoolboy error of asking the wife which one it was only to be informed it was the offside dipped main beam. Now bear in mind I once tried to explain the offside rule to the wife I can be forgiven for enquiring if she meant the drivers side.
This was met by an angry ‘yes I know what side is offside’ and a look that made my ■■■■■ retract into me scrotum.
So off I trotted to change the bulb, well first I did the obvious things and put the lights on the car to double check. Well this was another error, seeing me standing at the front of the car scrutinising the lights the missus came flying out the house screaming ‘dont you believe me, just hurry up and change the bloody thing we have to go shopping’, albeit with enough expletives that made me realise tonight I would be sleeping with the dog.
Well that was it, spare bulb in hand I informed the dragon that this was going to be a big job and would take hours as the exhaust manifold would have to come off for easy access but she could use my car for the shopping. The following stare I got would have given medusa a run for her money, but this option was deemed acceptable.
So shopping bags in hand and broomstick at the ready away she went, I even stood teary eyed as I waved my beloved off on her Tesco mission (tears of joy and relief but tears none the less).
Its at this point you may think jobs a good un and im safe for an afternoon of self abuse but not this time, less than 5 minutes had passed and new bulb fitted and in the process of being tested when who should arrive but the love of my life having forgotten her ■■■■■.
Que an afternoon round the shops and fifty lashings of the eardrums for trying to pull a fast one.
trevHCS:
I’ll get you to do my Citroen C5 next time either headlight bulb goes as it takes Halfords about 20 mins per bulb but they do it without removing anything. Citroen garage take the bumper off from what they said and remove the lighting unit. Did try it myself once and I’ve got the wrists of a 5 year old, but gave up after an hour.Did take one garage around 2 hours to replace the driver-side one after taking off the bumper, grill, moving the hydraulic suspension reservoir + pump system and the lighting unit. Said it’d cost £50 + bulb the next time!
Easiest - Peugeot 206 which I can replace myself in less than 5 mins including part removing the washer bottle.
Same problem with the C3 hour an half and cuts over my hand to change headlight bulb,
Two weeks later the other side went,learned my lesson took it to the local Citroen garage where I got it from,up on the ramp they dropped the front bumper replaced the bulb 10 minutes job done,no charge.
Normally around £50-£70
Dipper - you are in the wrong job, should be writing for a living
I literally peed myself reading that 
dcgpx:
rob22888:
Trukkertone:
bloomin’ Scanias… ■■Scania’s bulbs are fairly easy to get too I find, apart from the indicator on the front step.
Why? It’s just clipped in and pushes out dead easy.
Ha, I can get my hand into it ok but maybe I haven’t got the knack yet 
" I can get my hand into it ok, but maybe I haven’t got the knack yet ".
Wife’s been saying that’s my problem too.
Dipper_Dave:
Had to change the O/S bulb on the wifes mini cooper the weekend.
Trying really hard not to laugh with the “other half” sitting next to me, but not succeeding. Think I’d inform her that Halfords do this same job for a few quid and they are much better qualified than a “humble lorry driver”…I know someone who uses that excuse for every household job!
lolipop:
Same problem with the C3 hour an half and cuts over my hand to change headlight bulb
Halfords guy found that problem with mine. Local Citroen charged £21 for a bulb so £50 sounds a bit steep, but Halfords charges about £7. Oh and yeah Citroen & Peugeot cars need them both doing as they always blow the other bulb within a week or two. Personally I think the bulbs are in a pact.
Renault Megans are fun too. You have to take the front wheels off and then go in though an access hatch in the wheel arch. Problem is that the headlights are not a straight throw from the hatch so you have to scope it out then jam your arm in (removing a pile of skin seeing as you don’t have room for an arm and jumper) and work by feel. First one I did took 2 1/2 hours. Second time gave up after 3 hours (and removing the dipped beam when I was after the main) and went to the garage. Last time did not even bother, happy to let somebody else do it for 30 squid. Sounds a lot but well worth it.