A man is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and notices a
gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking
her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its
socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out
of the air, and hands it back.
“Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back
in place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.”
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the
theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her
deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to
come to her place for a nightcap - and stay for breakfast.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the
trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO
incredible!!!
“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this
nice to every guy you meet?”
“No,” she replies…"
“You just happened to catch my eye.”
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, “Daddy, what’s ■■■?”
Caught off guard, and shaken at his innocent little girl asking
such a question, he starts babbling about the birds and the
bees.
Then he looks at her bewildered expression and decides the best
option is to tell her the truth. He sits her down, and tells her
about conception, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about
puberty, menstruation and he thinks, ‘what the hell,’ and goes on
to tell her the works. He tells her about ■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■■■■■■■,
and even shows her a picture of a ■■■■■ and ■■■■■■.
He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub-topics and by the
time he’s finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this
sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge.
Her father finally asks, “So what did you want to know about ■■■
for?”
“Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of
secs…”