Immigrants doing security

earlier this week i got to a building site in oxford quite late on. i was booked in at 0800. at 0550 i heard a knock on my door. so i thought i was in someones way, so i started the engine, got dressed and opened the curtains. then i saw abdul stood there smiling at me.
i wasn’t in anyones way after all.
well the conversation went like this.

me: “why have you woke me up?”
abdul “yesssss”
me: “why have you woke me up?”
abdul “You deliver”
me: “at eight oclock”
abdul “yesssss”
me: “so why the [zb] have you woke me?”
abdul “you deliver”
me “no i don’t do liver, this isn’t a butchers shop”
abdul “yessss”
me “should you be in this country?”
abdul “yessss”
me “would you like me to phone imigration”
abdul “yesss”

how the [zb] could anyone employ someone who can only say three words of english to do security work?

I have my surname printed large,and laminated for logevity(after all,I dont think I’ll change it) on an A4 sheet. Just so the Ghurkas,Somalians or whoever are on the gate dont need to pretend they can understand me,or write down what they think I said,therefore giving me a problem on the way out. :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

limeyphil:
earlier this week i got to a building site in oxford quite late on. i was booked in at 0800. at 0550 i heard a knock on my door. so i thought i was in someones way, so i started the engine, got dressed and opened the curtains. then i saw abdul stood there smiling at me.
i wasn’t in anyones way after all.
well the conversation went like this.

me: “why have you woke me up?”
abdul “yesssss”
me: “why have you woke me up?”
abdul “You deliver”
me: “at eight oclock”
abdul “yesssss”
me: “so why the [zb] have you woke me?”
abdul “you deliver”
me “no i don’t do liver, this isn’t a butchers shop”
abdul “yessss”
me “should you be in this country?”
abdul “yessss”
me “would you like me to phone imigration”
abdul “yesss”

how the [zb] could anyone employ someone who can only say three words of english to do security work?

he must have been one of them that got british citizenship at the big ceremony on the telly couple weeks ago, if he can speak as many as 3 words then automatic uk passport given. :unamused:

Dunno then?:
I have my surname printed large,and laminated for logevity(after all,I dont think I’ll change it) on an A4 sheet. Just so the Ghurkas,Somalians or whoever are on the gate dont need to pretend they can understand me,or write down what they think I said,therefore giving me a problem on the way out. :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

I thought of doing that but then some of the security gates we go to are like Tesco’s Magor, An intercom :unamused:

Phil, you surprise me, that is what the bottle of yellow liquid is for :stuck_out_tongue:

Come back and give me a knock at 8am, oh and clean yourself up mate, you stink of ■■■■ :stuck_out_tongue:

Ghurkas

Don’t understand why you would bring the gurkhas into this.after all these guy’s have been part of the british army for over 200yrs,they speak better english than some of the natives do. :open_mouth: :unamused:

limeyphil:
‘…how the [zb] could anyone employ someone who can only say three words of english to do security work?..’

It must be the diversity that politicians tell me is so 'kin brilliant - but in reality does my swede in.

I did a collect at a cake factory recently where no matter how I badgered the foreign gentleman he couldn’t fathom that I was on the ponce. He was security, forkie & clerk in one. I was eyeing up the buns & ‘being nice’ to him, asking him for ‘any chance of a cake, please mate’ & slavvering, etc but nothing seemed to penetrate his professionalism to deny me.

How would ‘they’ like it if I starved his family?

They tend to be complete jobsworths as well, i was working at a place been there for over a year on off with an agency.

Appear one night Sunday night to do the Warrington trunk, no one in the place apart from security guard, who is African.

Me: hi hows it going
Security Guard: i require some photographic identification before i can let you in
Me: i don’t have any, ive been working here for over a year, i take it your new
Security Guard: if you don’t have any photographic identification i can’t let you in
Me: look ive been ask to do this trunk tonight they have no other drivers, the motor is BX56 blah blah blah, and the trailer number is 021, the boss John asked me to come in called me last minute, i’m doing the Warrington trunk.
Security Guard: yes however without any photographic identification you can’t come in, have you got a bank card or credit card i can see
Me: yes i do but its not photographic and even if it was i wouldnt be giving it to you
Security Guard: unfortunatly i can’t let you in
Me: fair enough i get paid 8 hours since i am here anyways, so i’ll just go to the pub now or go do a shift for another company, guess this will be your last day here since john will go mental since he called me up last minute desperate for me to cover this shift since the other driver is ill, it was meant to leave at 6pm, he won’t be happy when he finds the truck still sitting in the yard and the guy from Bristol has had a wasted trip to Warrington.
Security guard: oh maybe i can call john up, check you are who you say you are.
Me: yeah you do that but i’m leaving in the next 5mins

Security guard looks desperatly for a number to call, eventually gets John.

John basically tells security guard who i am, and to let me in. Security guard tells John the transport manager he still doesent think he should let me in because i have no ID, John basically tells security guard if he has to call a taxi leave the pub come down here to verify who i am he really isn’t going to be happy and guareentee’s him he will never be working with this company ever again. Security guard still not sure, John tells him to put me on the phone so he can verify its me.

John basically tells me, the security guard must be retarded or something, basically if he starts anymore crap just go get the truck and drive it through the bloody barrier if he refuses to open it. He will be calling up the security guard company and making sure this guy never works for us again.

After that security guard reluntantly lets me in, to add insult to injury he clocks me in at 8.15pm in the book, which i score out change to 8pm when i arrive, we start to argue with him saying no you are starting work at 8.15pm you have only just entered the premises, i leave it think deal with it later and go do my trunk.

The security guard should be on a 12 hour shift 6pm till 6am when i get back from Warrington about 5am security guard is gone has been replaced with someone with common sense, and i change my clock in time back to 8pm !

First time at a new depot? Wanna make a new friend, dead-quick? Then simply…:

Me: Hellooow …I come for pleesse to get tings here, pleesse.

Depot wallah: Oh, blinking flip - not another one.

Me: Only joking mate, I’ve come for… etc

Depot Wallah: You [zb]

The security guard was only doing his job,he must have been told no photographic I.D. =no entry.not his fault.

alamcculloch:
The security guard was only doing his job,he must have been told no photographic I.D. =no entry.not his fault.

Thats the thing he wasnt, this was his rule. The boss who hired him through the company was on the phone to him explaining who i was, and that id given enough information to know that i was supposed to be there, i had the truck reg, the trailer number, where i was going, and my name. Be strange for a stranger to know all these details.

Even when the boss told him to let me in he wasn’t for doing it.

Are there too many immigrants in Britain.■■?
Findings from a recent survey - 17% said Yes,11% said No, 72% said, 'I not understanding please…

If I encounter individuals who cannot speak the English language…I usually treat them with more contempt than a paedo in a childrens playground…I will twist their melon something chronic…Why■■? Because they shouldn`t be here. Simple.

att:
If I encounter individuals who cannot speak the English language…I usually treat them with more contempt than a paedo in a childrens playground…I will twist their melon something chronic…Why■■? Because they shouldn`t be here. Simple.

I had a visitor at the door yesterday. I live upstairs in a flat in a townhouse so looked out of the window. I couldn’t see anyone from the window so went down to see who was ringing the buzzer. When I was confronted with a foreign sounding chap trying to relieve me of money for the WWF. Now I do give to charity occasionally but refuse to sign a direct debit, or give any charity my bank details. This bloke could hardly string a sentence together except to explain that If he didn’t get any new customers, he didn’t get paid. Apparently they were around again today collecting signatures for water meters. I hate call centres for the same reason and can be quite rude when they answer, especially with a Bombay Mix accent and his name is Steve or Alan

Guy called today at the front door.
Q.What are you selling
A.Nothing
Q.what do you want
A.Are you interedsted in cheap gas and electric.]
Q.Is it free
A. No
Reply well it aint free your selling it ZB off
close door and continue watchin Tv drinking Ice cold Doyles Cyder mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I was in Tj Morris Liverpool the other night. When tipped your bay light goes green and paperwork in the trailer. Well they forgot my PCV so i went in. First man i bump into i ask for pcv, he looks at me then looks deep in thought and says something like ‘speak no english’. What happens if theres a fire accident etc how do you warn or be warned by these people. Come and work here if legally allowed to do so even though my thoughts are beginning to change but make sure you speak the language to a reasonable standard.

Wheel Nut:

att:
If I encounter individuals who cannot speak the English language…I usually treat them with more contempt than a paedo in a childrens playground…I will twist their melon something chronic…Why■■? Because they shouldn`t be here. Simple.

I had a visitor at the door yesterday. I live upstairs in a flat in a townhouse so looked out of the window. I couldn’t see anyone from the window so went down to see who was ringing the buzzer. When I was confronted with a foreign sounding chap trying to relieve me of money for the WWF. Now I do give to charity occasionally but refuse to sign a direct debit, or give any charity my bank details. This bloke could hardly string a sentence together except to explain that If he didn’t get any new customers, he didn’t get paid. Apparently they were around again today collecting signatures for water meters. I hate call centres for the same reason and can be quite rude when they answer, especially with a Bombay Mix accent and his name is Steve or Alan

I have found the answer to these phone calls is to advise the person phoning me is that I prefer to donate via their website. I’ll repeat that each time they pause for breath, from reading their script. The parting line is always please remove my phone number from your database as I’m registered with the Telephone Prefference Service so can you tell me how you got my number as it should not have been generally available.

kitkat:

Ghurkas

Don’t understand why you would bring the gurkhas into this.after all these guy’s have been part of the british army for over 200yrs,they speak better english than some of the natives do. :open_mouth: :unamused:

Oh no they dont! They may understand barked orders but conversational English usually confuses them. And no I dont have an axe to grind ref Ghurkas. :stuck_out_tongue:

Dunno then?:
Oh no they dont! They may understand barked orders but conversational English usually confuses them. And no I dont have an axe to grind ref Ghurkas. :stuck_out_tongue:

I worked with a Ghurka when I was a bus driver and he was the nicest bloke you ever wished to meet, always smiling and always greeted you with a “good morning” and a handshake and he had no problem with conversational English :wink:
That said I wouldnt like to get on the wrong side of a ghurka :open_mouth:

Was Weeks ago in the News that Home Office signed all Application for Security Pass without checking anything.But they didn’t find out how many Illegal Immigrants are gone throu. They know just “Many”!
That gives me the Question why i must do legal,as illegal Immigrating is not other than a Crime