A thoroughly recommended eatery.
Day # 1
My mission last week was to go to Tipton to deliver a short ADR course. My normal practice is to arrive in the afternoon of the day before the course commences for the purpose of setting-up the classroom and getting settled in at the B&B.
Having achieved that (after wasting hours on a technical problem of my own making with my new projector 
) I enquired as to where it might be possible for me to eat an evening meal. The conversation surprised me somewhatā¦
Dave: Do you know of anywhere that I could get an evening meal please?
Boss: You can eat just down the road at āThe Pie Factory.ā 
Thinking that this was a cruel wind-up in the worst possible taste, I asked the boss to repeatā¦
Dave: Eh? Pardonā ā ?
Boss: You can eat just down the road at āThe Pie Factory.ā Just go down the road and youāll see it on the corner, you canāt miss it cos itās quite a big place. (All said in an accent somewhere between a Brummie and a Yamyam. 
)
So, armed with this information, I set-off in the Piemobileā¦
ā¦ and saw this as I waited at the traffic-lights:
I parked the Piemobile in the car park:
Then I saw the most amazing BOGOF offer Iāve ever seen:
Still incredulous, Iām thinking itās a cardboard cut-out and somebody is intent on winding me up, so I walked around to the other sideā¦
ā¦and saw the front of the building:
I enter quietly through the door from the car park
Just like anybody else finding their idea of heaven, Iām transfixed for a while whilst I adapt to my new surroundings.
It seems to be an international company with customers in far flung parts of the World.
They even have some vacancies:
Now itās time to read the menu:
The āpie of the weekā is described as a Desperate Dan Cow Pie weighing 4lb complete with horns.
It says that if you finish the Desperate Dan Cow Pie, you get a certificate.
Tempted as I am (and who wouldnāt be? 
) itās a bit big for the time of evening, so I decide to leave that one for day # 2
Since itās quite late in the evening, and itās a Wednesday, I decide to take them up on their Wednesday BOGOF offer instead.
You go back for the second pie once youāve eaten this lot:
Iāve just tested the end of the pie, and itās rather nice. 
The lady at the servery didnāt actually expect me to come back for the second pie, but I explained that the misunderstanding was due to the fact that she didnāt know me. 
At all costs, I had to prevent the second pie from falling into the wrong hands. 
Yes, the table is a butcherās chopping block, as are the other tables, andā¦
Yes, that IS sawdust and wood shavings on the floor.
Day # 2
The big day dawns and as Iām eating brekkie, I realise that Iām already looking forward to my evening meal.
Back at the Pie Factory and after checking the terms and conditions once more, I order the 4lb Desperate Dan Cow Pie.
Here it is:
So, just like on a question of sport, we stop the action and ask: What happened next??
Did I finish the pie?
Did the pie get the better of me?
Did I get my certificate?
Did I go back for a dessert?
These and many other questions will be answered after the commercial breakā¦
Whilst youāre pondering the answers, did you realise that they also seem to do meals on wheels?
They have a website:
http://www.madorourkes.com/
If you go to the bar for a drink, youāll see these beer-taps:
Yes, the beer-taps are various kinds of hammers.
They also seem to do other types of pies:
I gave the donkeyburgers a miss thoughā¦
Now back to the serious stuffā¦
This is what happened to the Desperate Dan Cow Pie:
It was all a bit of an anti-climax actually, cos it only took me 10mins to eat it. (Including the horns. )
After eating āallā that 4lb pie, I was still a bit peckish, so I ordered a bread and butter pudding with custard for afters.
Hereās my certificate and bill:
Now where else could you get a 4lb pie and afters, and still get change from Ā£13 these days??
Iāve added this location to āfavouritesā on my sat-nav. 
