stuartrobbie:
did you ‘pound the tarmac’?
No. He didn’t mention how many distances to the moon and back his company covers each year either.
If anyone can do it, THE TRUCKERS CAN !!! 
Close, but not enough unnecessary words. Try this:
It’s 5pm on a cold wet miserable day, and experienced trucker James is facing the challenge of his life. Strict rules applying to all countries in the European Union means he only has 120 minutes of driving time remaining and he will face a hefty fine running into many thousands of pounds if he goes just half a second over his driving hours.
His many years of experience will be called on to see if he can cross one of the busiest cities in the World involving a stretch on the circular hell hole that every trucker dreads, yes, the North Circular. With narrow lanes, tight corners, complicated junctions and speed cameras this will stretch James to the limit.
1 hour in, it’s all going well when disaster strikes, there is a blockage ahead leaving only inches of space to squeeze his 8 foot wide vehicle through. James is having to concentrate fully on all his mirrors, just one tiny wrong move could be disastrous and bring traffic chaos to millions of totally innocent victims. James slows to a crawl to give himself every chance. With less than half a millimeter between vehicles James makes it through and he can continue on his terrifying and virtually impossible quest.
Now all James has to do is keep his cool and pray that the traffic continues to move as he inches nearer to his destination. Join us after the break where James encounters the most challenging situation that London traffic can present…
Welcome back. Experienced trucker James has already escaped certain death and the pressure he faces on this journey is not letting up. James has just checked his special proximity mirror and seen a cyclist. “This is a life or death situation” James says, “it’s every truckers worst nightmare, there are just millimetres between me and him”. “If I’m not very careful, the silly [zb] will end up under my wheels and then I’ll have to clean this beautiful shiny trailer”. Will James kill the silly [zb] ? Will he get there on time? Will he get embroiled in a drag race with a milk float? Will he need to stop for a ■■■■? All this and even more, next time on “Trucks and Trailers”
james1973, you didn’t have a creamy mess? You’re no driver, no wonder standards are dropping 
Love it, I’m sure channel 5 have called you up to write the next series of trucks and trailers
Think I got a lot to learn
Funny, top stuff. 
Yer could have added to the tension by pointing out you had no anderson lead ,for your trailer…even if yer didnt have a tail-lift.
When you reached your drop did you get a guided tour of the factory of the CEO of the company and a gift?
What about brain dead who did a 60 odd mile detour back up the A1 across the M62 and back down the M1 to Magor because the M18 southbound was shut! 
I guess the A57 and A46 weren’t built when they filmed that episode. Then he’s running down the M50 and A449 with just an hour to go and the presenter comes out with"he has only 60 minuites to navigate the tight and windy roads of Wales" blah,blah,blah am I missing summat? I’m sure the 50 and 449 were a relatively straight and up and down dual carriageway the last time I used it?
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
What about brain dead who did a 60 odd mile detour back up the A1 across the M62 and back down the M1 to Magor because the M18 southbound was shut!
That was shocking ! proper TomTom only driver. Absolute tool
Then again are Stobarts on a planned route ? Sure tesco side of things get a map of which way they HAVE to go?
Could be wrong 
PremiumTrucker:
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
What about brain dead who did a 60 odd mile detour back up the A1 across the M62 and back down the M1 to Magor because the M18 southbound was shut!That was shocking !
Then again are Stobarts on a planned route ? Sure tesco side of things get a map of which way they HAVE to go?
Could be wrong
No Stobbarts ain’t mate it’s just the big supermarket chains mainly. He did have a double decker on but there are no low bridges on the A57 off the A1 going to the M1.
th2013:
Close, but not enough unnecessary words. Try this:It’s 5pm on a cold wet miserable day, and experienced trucker James is facing the challenge of his life. Strict rules applying to all countries in the European Union means he only has 120 minutes of driving time remaining and he will face a hefty fine running into many thousands of pounds if he goes just half a second over his driving hours.
His many years of experience will be called on to see if he can cross one of the busiest cities in the World involving a stretch on the circular hell hole that every trucker dreads, yes, the North Circular. With narrow lanes, tight corners, complicated junctions and speed cameras this will stretch James to the limit.
1 hour in, it’s all going well when disaster strikes, there is a blockage ahead leaving only inches of space to squeeze his 8 foot wide vehicle through. James is having to concentrate fully on all his mirrors, just one tiny wrong move could be disastrous and bring traffic chaos to millions of totally innocent victims. James slows to a crawl to give himself every chance. With less than half a millimeter between vehicles James makes it through and he can continue on his terrifying and virtually impossible quest.
Now all James has to do is keep his cool and pray that the traffic continues to move as he inches nearer to his destination. Join us after the break where James encounters the most challenging situation that London traffic can present…
Welcome back. Experienced trucker James has already escaped certain death and the pressure he faces on this journey is not letting up. James has just checked his special proximity mirror and seen a cyclist. “This is a life or death situation” James says, “it’s every truckers worst nightmare, there are just millimetres between me and him”. “If I’m not very careful, the silly [zb] will end up under my wheels and then I’ll have to clean this beautiful shiny trailer”. Will James kill the silly [zb] ? Will he get there on time? Will he get embroiled in a drag race with a milk float? Will he need to stop for a ■■■■? All this and even more, next time on “Trucks and Trailers”
I LIKE THIS… not a little. BUT A LOT
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
Then he’s running down the M50 and A449 with just an hour to go and the presenter comes out with"he has only 60 minuites to navigate the tight and windy roads of Wales" blah,blah,blah am I missing summat? I’m sure the 50 and 449 were a relatively straight and up and down dual carriageway the last time I used it?
I was down there last week, breeze of a road to drive on the run to the M4. Doesn’t get much easier.
I think th1213 had to much time on his hands last night… but very good 
David Attenborough voice
Here on the North Circular we are observing one of the most illusive species in the trucking family, the stobart driver. We have waited months to catch him along this stretch of road and here he is. His big green truck has been marked with a female name in some kind of mating ritual. His furless head glistens in the afternoon sun and beads of sweat appear indicating the immense stress he is under as he hauls his huge bulk along one the most dangerous passages for this species. If he can’t make his journey in his allotted time he will surely fail to feed his family for a whole day, leaving them vulnerable to predators like British Gas, The water company and the inland revenue. It is heart breaking for us to watch this scene as he has come to a blockage made by another trucking species, what bad luck and we can’t intervene and must just gaze at these heart wrenching scenes as we observe the utter frustration on his little face, looking bewildered and absolutely lost but THEN! yes he is going for it! He is trying to haul his bulk through the gap with just inches to spare each side. Bravery here is not an option and he knows he has to give it a try {Tom tom drums loud} With just 75 minutes before the sun goes down he must complete his journey! The specialist HGV filming crew and I are flabbergasted and our hearts are in our mouths as we see him turning the wheel slightly left then right, his eyes flicking like a cobras tongue from mirror to mirror! Just one mistake could spell disaster not just for him but the whole of the London Delta wild life. In part two next week we see the conclusion of his journey and I will be trying to meet up with him again in a transport café north of Watford.
BUT DID HE MAKE IT ON TIME,find out in the next episode.
^^^^f-----g brilliant!
I have added some loud tom tom drums in the centre of the piece to add suspense.
alder:
I have added some loud tom tom drums in the centre of the piece to add suspense.
respect… yours was better!
(and yes, wife did have a headache last night!)
Further entries to the TNUK “I don’t need to have a university education to be a literary genius” competition are strongly encouraged…!
th2013:
Close, but not enough unnecessary words. Try this:It’s 5pm on a cold wet miserable day, and experienced trucker James is facing the challenge of his life. Strict rules applying to all countries in the European Union means he only has 120 minutes of driving time remaining and he will face a hefty fine running into many thousands of pounds if he goes just half a second over his driving hours.
His many years of experience will be called on to see if he can cross one of the busiest cities in the World involving a stretch on the circular hell hole that every trucker dreads, yes, the North Circular. With narrow lanes, tight corners, complicated junctions and speed cameras this will stretch James to the limit.
1 hour in, it’s all going well when disaster strikes, there is a blockage ahead leaving only inches of space to squeeze his 8 foot wide vehicle through. James is having to concentrate fully on all his mirrors, just one tiny wrong move could be disastrous and bring traffic chaos to millions of totally innocent victims. James slows to a crawl to give himself every chance. With less than half a millimeter between vehicles James makes it through and he can continue on his terrifying and virtually impossible quest.
Now all James has to do is keep his cool and pray that the traffic continues to move as he inches nearer to his destination. Join us after the break where James encounters the most challenging situation that London traffic can present…
Welcome back. Experienced trucker James has already escaped certain death and the pressure he faces on this journey is not letting up. James has just checked his special proximity mirror and seen a cyclist. “This is a life or death situation” James says, “it’s every truckers worst nightmare, there are just millimetres between me and him”. “If I’m not very careful, the silly [zb] will end up under my wheels and then I’ll have to clean this beautiful shiny trailer”. Will James kill the silly [zb] ? Will he get there on time? Will he get embroiled in a drag race with a milk float? Will he need to stop for a ■■■■? All this and even more, next time on “Trucks and Trailers”
10/10, PMSL at this , well funny !!!
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
What about brain dead who did a 60 odd mile detour back up the A1 across the M62 and back down the M1 to Magor because the M18 southbound was shut!
Exactly what i said to the wife as i watched it but she won’t remotly interested