My flask has got more miles…
“I’ve got a tin of beans in the side locker done more miles than you.”
“I was in Baghdad when you were still in your dad’s bag.”
‘i’ve done more miles in reverse than youve done done forward’ - heard that a few times!
done more miles in a skid …
Not really a jibe but, i remember that some of the lads were talking about a girl who worked in a food caravan. The word was that she could be induced to relieve your frustrations for about twenty quid. So our man pulls up, marches up and says “are your the girl that does a J Arthur for twenty quid”. she says “yes, that’s me” and he says “well wash your hands, and do us a bacon sandwich.”.
Ex Haulier:
Not really a jibe but, i remember that some of the lads were talking about a girl who worked in a food caravan. The word was that she could be induced to relieve your frustrations for about twenty quid. So our man pulls up, marches up and says “are your the girl that does a J Arthur for twenty quid”. she says “yes, that’s me” and he says “well wash your hands, and do us a bacon sandwich.”.
Where is this bird? save me trying to multitask while I eat my breakfast.
Call youself a driver? Your trucks had more hits than the Beatles!
“Can you be there for 6am?”
“Two hopes.Bob and No”
“You should have been here at 8am”
“Why? What happened?”
“I am going to call your boss”
“Here you are, use my phone!”
Ex Haulier:
Not really a jibe but, i remember that some of the lads were talking about a girl who worked in a food caravan. The word was that she could be induced to relieve your frustrations for about twenty quid. So our man pulls up, marches up and says “are your the girl that does a J Arthur for twenty quid”. she says “yes, that’s me” and he says “well wash your hands, and do us a bacon sandwich.”.
A weekend barmaid in a bikers pub I used to frequent was once asked a straight question “do you want to earn £20”. An entirely innocent question being asked by a bloke who wanted her to make the phone call that needed to be made by a wumman.
Her reply . . . " I can’t I’m 3mths pregnant" caused more beer to be spilled than the pub had even sold that night. From then on, quite a few would only pay for a round with a £20 note.
“Done more miles on sand than youve done on tarmac !”
“It says Volvo on the front not Boeing”
“No problem Drive we get trucks down here all the time”
“You cant miss us!”
Yeh you,ll get in, we,ve had bigger motors than yours in before 
, and the bin wagon always manages 
"You want it when 
" 
" Yes boss , it is only 4 inches away on the map , ive got 9 - so it must be well travelled " 
wood73:
‘i’ve done more miles in reverse than youve done done forward’ - heard that a few times!
Yeah, occasionally I get problems getting on bays, maybe you should gat a bit of help.
Watching a driver making a meal of getting on a bay or a FLT banging into the side of your trailer : “have you just passed your test?” . Particularly effective on older generation drivers.
“Honestly lad, there’s no food waste in it”
Did you get your licence from Kelloggs?
Send in 4 packet tops to get it.
To planners and TM’s:
“It says ERF on my truck not RAF”
Or the alternative:
“It says Class 1 on my licence not F1.”
Ken.
To the drivers trying to reverse over pit,
‘Do u want me to get my little lad’
Works a treat with the older drives 
Ive carried my suitcase further than you’ve driven !
Why not put some salt and pepper on that?
Eh?
To make a proper meal of it.