End of Lockdown - Let Absurdities Commence!

OUT OF HOURS BULLY'S TRUCKSTOP BAR (INTERACTIVE)
1

" Appointments to be made remotely, with no dropping in on the day of the haircut
Temperature testing for clients and staff on arrival
Waiting outside might be required until a customer is ushered in by their stylist
Reception desk will have a Perspex screen or be completely gone
Payments will be contactless, with no cash tipping
Chairs will be spaced out to observe social distancing guidelines
Stylists will wear masks and gowns that are changed after each client
Clients will be asked to wear masks and leave jewellery, handbags and coats at home wherever possible
Luxuries of tea, coffee and magazines will not be provided, so customers should bring their own
Hand sanitisers will be dotted throughout the salon
Juniors will not be assisting stylists, but sanitising sinks and surfaces between clients "

What’s the betting that on July 4th - the mobile networks go down, because of all the people trying to book appointments for stuff, now that they can’t just walk-in off the street?

Wedding Ceremonies - If you don’t know at least 30 people you’d want to be there “no exceptions” - then you might as well postpone the bloody wedding, rather than turn the experience into some kind of “Las Vegas Chapel of Luuurrve” kind of thing…

Libraries - How does one “quarentine a book” ffs?

Squirt Squirt with the disinfectant… Oh crap - the book has fallen to bits!
If you’re Bulgarian, Ukrainian, or Russian -

Bugger “not using cash” for things like Haircuts - I don’t have an Iphone for one, nor ever intend to get one.
It’s cash or no business with me!
I also don’t use “contactless” in any shape or form. When the bank sent me a contact card, I destroyed it, and requested that they re-issue another card with chip & pin on it NO “swipe” or “contactless” capability. The bank honoured my request.

Church Services - allowed, but must not be more than 30 people, with “no singing” WTF?

Can’t have any Vicar going “Let us Spray” neither, I take it… :stuck_out_tongue:

Workplace Canteens - If the Contactless Payment System - is already called into disrepute for “Theft and Moneylaundering” aspects, one might want to push forward the question
“Why do we even need all this fancy infrastructure?”
There are laws for Financial Industries on “taking cash deposits from customers” and the way that cash is kept “on electronic accounts”…
One such aspect of this is “The money is supposed to be made available as a refund upon request within 24 hours of the balance-owning client” - and if it is NOT? - Would that constitute a canteen illegally accepting non-refundable deposits when no such financial disclaimer was signed to that effect before issuing the “payment card to take the cash deposit”■■

Bingo Halls - Face away?.. From what ffs?

You get your full house or whatever, you call out - but your cry is merely a mumble, isn’t heard… The bingo caller pulls the next number, and hey presto - You’ve just lost your prize!!
Most bingo halls have a rule that you MUST have the last number pulled and called out by the caller. If not, you don’t get the prize… It is upto the players to make sure that you are heard when your last number to win comes up…

Theatres and Concert Halls - am I misunderstanding that there are to be “no live performances”? That’s Cinema ONLY then, I guess…

Barbers - No conversation. FFS Might as well get some clippers then, because no barbar is going to survive trying to implement such daft policies…

Theme Parks - For balance, even if you leave every other row of seats clear - you still need someone on both sides to keep the ride carriage stable…
So if you go without your intimate partner - you’re going to be rather intimate for the purpose of “sharing germs” to whatever stranger you end up sitting next to then, albeit no one in front or behind.
Great. I bet the queues are going to be longer than at Supermarkets of late as well, of course… Might as well not bother!

Social Clubs - What can you do there other than Socialize I wonder?

Hotels and B&Bs - No breakfast. So it is “Bed” then. Will there ever be such a thing as “Bed and Breakfast” I wonder?
NO food via Room service, NO dinners in a dining area.
…Bring home a chippy, and eat it on your hotel bed■■? :stuck_out_tongue:

Finally - WHO is going to be arsed to “book an appointment at a PUB” for crying out loud?

Get a 24 pack from supermarket - and sit around your telly, no one need know you’ve now got the socially-acceptable 30 people in your living room.

2

the masses can do what they want.
personally im doing what i do now. keeping my distance not going out much. and not getting invloved untill the new year maybe. when its safer.
im happy to let everyone else ventrue out and wait and see what the outcome is.
same with all fast food places costa coffe etc. im avoiding them all. manged fine for 3 months.

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Nope, not surrendering to yet more ludicrous folly, no intention of ever walking around like some half wit highwayman behind a pointless mask.
And the day i ever queue to pay someone my hard earned it will be a cold day in hell.

It’s been a complete and utter load of ■■■■■■■■ from day 1, the govt and it’s propaganda arms led by the idiot box in the corner plus various other forms of public indoctrination seeking control of the masses, have effectively terrified most of the nation into a blithering frightened of their own shadows mess, and utterly destroyed the economy of the nation into the bargain, for literally bugger all…stopped importing people from infected countries? did we buggery, well done all round chaps.

What lunatic ever thought a long term successful eceonomy could be built on so called service industries anyway, then to shut those industries down for months only to re-open with such idiotic measures that only those mesmerised/stupefied by the message bombardment will conform, and boy will they willingly conform.
You know exactly what you can do with those petty regulations and as many masks as you can imagine, yep stick 'em where the sun don’t shine and climb in yersen when finished.

And people voted for Johnson believing him to be almost a re-incarnation of Churchill, Jesus Wept, he’s about as Chuchill like as a can of re-incarnation milk :unamused:

4

‘‘The Boris announcements’’ are like sat navs, you use them as you think fit, as at the end of the day both are advisory guides… realistically.
Some will follow them to the letter without question, and the more sensible among us will listen to the advice, sum it up, and decide ourselves whether or not to go with it, at every individual situation that crops up.

5

I read the post heading and then saw the poster and thought well…

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Beau Nydel:
I read the post heading and then saw the poster and thought well…

Admit it - My posts are like signs saying “Wet Paint” - aren’t they? :stuck_out_tongue:

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I always wonder if “wet paint” is an instruction? I try to accommodate.

8

Speaking to a few supermarket managers at stores lately and they all reckon they will not go back to 24hr opening for a long time, if ever.
Supermarkets are making record profits with reduced overheads and wages.
Steady flow of customers all day long, trollies overfilled with weekly shops… it’s their dream scenario.

Similar with office workers. Can do the job much cheaper from home, why bring them back.
There will be many empty office blocks soon.

Furloughed jobs… companies realise that they can operate, or more importantly maintain profit margins, without these workers. Why bring them back?

A dream for the bean counters and cost cutters, and it’s barely started yet.

As for the small businesses being expected to trade under these ridiculous restrictions at 50% capacity or less,how many of these are going to last?

Every day thousands of job losses are quietly announced under the radar by piecemeal and it’s just warning up.
Backs to the wall people

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All those protests a few weeks ago didn’t result in a spike of cases, therefore whatever it was, disease, virus, bacteria is on its way out, the bed wetters need to switch the tv off and stop listening to MSM and get outside, if they don’t get out while the weather is decent then they’ve no chance of building up the immune system for the winter and then numerous deaths will be blamed on this made up ■■■■ and back into lockdown we go.

10

Also found supermarkets are using this as an excuse to install more self service tills
Meaning less staff.
I went to asda Trafford park for 1st time since before the lock down.
Was reasonably quiet.
But theve taken out nearly all the tiills replaced them. With self service comvaery belts.
There’s only 5 manned tills there now and when I went was only 3 open

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I dont carry any cash.You need to see the state of those notes. My bank card i know where is has been. Its a matter of personal choice.

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WheelsofCardiff:
I dont carry any cash.You need to see the state of those notes. My bank card i know where is has been. Its a matter of personal choice.

The state will know everywhere where your bank card, meaning you, has been too.
Be wary of helping the state to morph into something far more sinister than East Germany ever was, too many out there are only too willing to assist for various reasons (assuming like all appeasers that they will be the last to be consumed) and too blinkered to see where this could end up.
The state is not your friend.

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Juddian:

WheelsofCardiff:
I dont carry any cash.You need to see the state of those notes. My bank card i know where is has been. Its a matter of personal choice.

Be wary of helping the state to morph into something far more sinister than East Germany ever was.
The state is not your friend.

I reckon that ship has already sailed.
It’s like that now with all the snooping, surveillance, tracking, cameras and all the rest of the crap.
Fully enhanced with all the pond life sneaks and informers :smiling_imp: …and that’s just today’s haulage industry. :unamused: :smiley:

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Juddian:

WheelsofCardiff:
I dont carry any cash.You need to see the state of those notes. My bank card i know where is has been. Its a matter of personal choice.

The state will know everywhere where your bank card, meaning you, has been too.
Be wary of helping the state to morph into something far more sinister than East Germany ever was, too many out there are only too willing to assist for various reasons (assuming like all appeasers that they will be the last to be consumed) and too blinkered to see where this could end up.
The state is not your friend.

And leave that “smart” phone home alone from time to time. You can do without connection to the hive mind for a couple of days in order to disrupt their tracking algorithms.

This very website is “correcting,” Wrongthink, imagine how desperate an entity with REAL skin in the game would go in order to make you believe in the new normal■■?

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Every thing is being spied on these days. Cash machines are monitored sat navs also show your movements. There was the case of a First bus driver who failed a drugs test after handling notes. Whether we like it or not the state will know where we are even logging here they can see you.

16

Never been offered a haircut by any of the customers I deliver too.

I was looking forward to getting out and about again, our business has been dead but will be mad busy now, but if I’m not going to get coffee and a magazine when I deliver to a client I’m not going!

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Winseer youcertainly start some tasty subjects,
lorry drivers have been spied on for years now (tachos) especially trampers being in the lorry 24 hrs. I can,t see any thing different from when I was in the saddle. To many people over think things and believe all these Big Brother and Animal Farm books or are they just trying to sew a few seeds in people,s minds.

18

Here’s a fresh absurdity from the other side of the world…

How can a guy notorious for making ■■■■ despite being an ugly git and everything - suddenly find himself even accused of this PC thing of “Backdated WIthdrawal Of Consent” which is about the only ■■■■ rap that even an overly liberal state like California could have the nerve to bring at a time like this?

Ron Jeremy had open heart surgery during the interim, and one wonders if he were capable during this period of ■■■■■■ his own fist, let alone some washed-up loser who now decided in retrospect that “She wasn’t paid enough”…

Agent has already dropped him like a hot brick of course, so again we see this concept of “Guilty until we make sure you’re unable to prove you are innocent”…

Meanwhile in other “recent deaths” as well, I would add to the sad story I posted yesterday about Jockey Liam Treadwell, found dead aged 34…

You’ve got Steve Bing, the guy who got to knock-up none other than Liz Hurley - “jumping off a building” with the level of wealth HE has, or rather “Had” since he’s a big donator to the Democrat Party… Hmm…

Found dead on Monday (This week!) we already have a Coroner report saying it was Suicide… That quickly? Seriously■■? :open_mouth:

Back over to this side of the pond,

We have the Chairwoman of Aintree Racecourse found dead… A connection to Liam Treadwell, that connection being “Grand National” of course… Liam Treadwell also brought home the biggest price winner in our lifetime for the Grand National in Mon Mome @ 100-1 odds, which might have upset a few local bookies, had they gone about putting some money on the horse on the day…
TWO people associated with the Grand National now dead in quick succession?

Coroners are supposed to consider anyone who suffers an apparent “sudden death” as a “case to be investigated” - aren’t they?
Meanwhile back in Local News, as far as I am aware - the coroner in the case of RM driver killed in the A2 Dartford RTC earlier this month - has yet to release their findings, or even the name of the deceased?
Would that be following “instructions from the family”■■ - I dunno.

Meanwhile, a woman killed on the M20 near Ashford has now been named.

Meanwhile, another “Odd Death” in Ashford area as well…

…and finally the sad case of Local Lad Andy Stuart, who also has now been declared to have “mental health” as a “contributor to his death”. :frowning: RIP Driver.

The absurdity? - Why the HUGE difference in how Coroner’s live and work through the ongoing lockdown?
Are corners being cut?
Are “Lessons to be learned” - not even being brought up at Inquests??

I think I posted some months ago, that imo “more people would die from the knock-on effects of the lockdown than die from Coronavirus directly”.

There are plenty of times I’d really LIKE to be proven wrong about stuff I post about.
This is one of them. :frowning: :frowning:

19

WaggerWagger888:
Winseer youcertainly start some tasty subjects,
lorry drivers have been spied on for years now (tachos) especially trampers being in the lorry 24 hrs. I can,t see any thing different from when I was in the saddle. To many people over think things and believe all these Big Brother and Animal Farm books or are they just trying to sew a few seeds in people,s minds.

You don’t have to be a conspiracy theorist like me to have a lot of issues at any time as “Things that make you go ‘hmm’.”

20

I took the dog to the groomers this morning, it was locked down like Fort Knox. She wore a full size chemical visor, dust mask, industrial apron, boots and gloves. I had to sanitise my hands, lock the dog in a cage and walk 2 metres backwards, the groomer went in, picked the dog up and took it away.

My dog licks its own bum, and willie and eats catpoo, he doesn’t care for all this PPE