They seem to crop up on here from time to time 
So what’s the best/most bizarre thing you have ever heard/been told by a fellow driver that made you chuckle or cringe because you knew it really was a myth and not true contrary to what they thought 
may be we should compile the TNUK top 20 drivers myths of all time :!: 
Note to the TNUK repetition police - this may of been flogged/beaten to death before, for that i apologise 
Your stealing my next book with this thread. 
or I get even more content for it
How about the tipper driver who got caught short for a number two.
He stopped his truck, hopped in the back and assumed the crouching position.
parking on the nearside so that he wasn’t seen by people in the offices on the nearside.
Just at the critical moment a full double decker bus stopped at the bus stop opposite and everyone on the bus was treated to a tipper driver taking a dump in the back of his truck.
I heard this one years ago, no one could remember the drivers name though
See them all the time on here about Stobarts…
This one isn’t really an Urban Myth, yet, but just a regular bit of driver BS. It was told to us on the train by a Nedexco driver. He had loaded in Grimsby and every time he stopped at traffic lights on the way out of town he felt the trailer moving. He pulled over to investigate, opened the doors and there was a 10 foot shark thrashing about in his fridge trailer. He kept going over the story and with each repeat telling the shark went from 10 foot to 12, to 14. 
how about “there is a driver shortage”
it is an offence to refuse drinking water to anyone who asks for it.
the law in the uk states that double jeopody is illegal. “in other words you can’t be tried for the same offence twice”
being proud to be gay. now that’s a good myth.
i secretly fancy beverley bell. there’s another one.
the goverment are building secure parking areas.
I met a balloon recently who was driving a flat tyred looking 3.5 tonne van, who was carrying 3 x 1 Tonne pallets in the back.
I asked him if he realised his tyres were sinking so low & that he may be (well) overweight, when he replies "It’ll not matter if i get stopped…i know what i’m talking about. What the [zb] do Vosa know? I’m a CPC holder…they can’t tell me anything…i’ll tell them where to go.
In short, my contribution is those deluded souls who tell you they have told Vosa to eff off etc…there’s always one
a lot of people fell for the CD in the window to reflect speed gun radar.
Still see the occasional one nowadays
Blue lights on your dash signify you are up for a bit of gay action in a lay-by.
No idea who started that one
16 hour spreadovers are ok for EU regs
Breaks are 3 X 15 mins for EU regs
You can go over a 15 hour day and 10 hours driving if you are within 1 hour of home or base
The new Driver CPC is going to be a very good thing
The speed limit on a dual is 40
Must just find one more…
… ah, found one…
… ROG is good at EU regs…
toowise:
a lot of people fell for the CD in the window to reflect speed gun radar.Still see the occasional one nowadays
I saw 1 numpty with 5 on the dash in a DAF the other day funnily enough.
scottishcruiser:
I saw 1 numpty with 5 on the dash in a DAF the other day funnily enough.
Nothing to do with speed cameras that mate - he could not afford a light bar
Nothing to do with speed cameras that mate - he could not afford a light bar
Thats true - those DAF’s spend more time being fixed than anything else 
That when the Ministry of (Funny Walks & Handshake’s)Transprort introduced the new HGV Licensing and O licences everyone who drove or operated goods vehicles would be seen and regarded as achieving ‘professional’ status in their working career. 
Almost 40yrs on from that we are still classed as unskilled and an unnecessary part of road congestion and possibly most of all the other problems that affect community’s and society as a whole 
Sometimes I’m glad I got out when I did but still miss the ‘game’ and the lorry’s today are much, much better than I was doing it , would love to have a go in some of todays really modern trucks.
Any Small Co’s;/OD’s willing to give me a drive out with them ? Not looking for a pay day just maybe a run out, done a lot of double-man jobs and know how that works and can also rope and sheet and also know how to make sure the double man game works to help keep it profitable 
Hope my last comments are taken as seriously as they are meant, I really would like to have a ride out with someone and the difference being is that I’m not a newbie trying to gain experience, I’ve been in the transport game since 1970 and had my Class1 since March 75 but am just waiting for a decision with my medical to get it renewed. So if anyone, OD’s or small company’s, are looking for someone just to be a second man or run out with someone who needs a bit of extra help maybe I could help
I’ve got my own transport and am willing to travel anywhere in Yorkshire
Sorry if I digressed from the original post
Regards
Dave Penn;
Last year, the boss and i were helping one of the 7.5t drivers to sheet his load. We pointed out that he’d put it on upside down, with the shrinker tabs underneath. He told us that it didn’t matter because he didn’t need to use them. So we told him that the sheet was only waterproofed on that side and his load would get soaked if it rained! He always makes sure that his sheets on the right way up now!!!
Coffeeholic:
Blue lights on your dash signify you are up for a bit of gay action in a lay-by.No idea who started that one
from look of drivers i see about with blue lights it sounds true to me.
Coffeeholic:
Blue lights on your dash signify you are up for a bit of gay action in a lay-by.No idea who started that one
As does leaving the rear door open when parked up.
limeyphil:
i secretly fancy beverley bell. there’s another one.
Ooh, Beverley Bell!
Whip me, beat me, take my O licence away!