An old guy told me once…Son spend your time with your kids, not on them. Took me a while to figure out what he meant but best piece of advice I ever got. Kids come 1st
Can you move closer to your daughter.
I agree with what everyone has said … Kids 1st, but we all know that in this industry you can’t dictate when you must be finished by. Dumping a truck and telling them to do one won’t help your cause either, and as an agency driver your only a bum on seat & you’ll only damage your reputation by causing problems between yourself, the agency, and the haulier.
IMO it would be better not to work the shift prior to seeing your kid, that way you’ll be calmer, less stressed & you’ll have had more sleep ahead of seeing your kid.
kids come first of course.if you can,try and improve your relationship with your ex.,and you may be able to sort out access to your child which suits all of you.forget any bitterness about who done what,or why things went wrong.they did,obviously,so just accept it and move on.i’ve been there twice,and it’s not nice,and it’s cost me a fortune…but that’s life!
In an ideal world there’d be a balance between the two, but as we don’t live in an ideal world I’ll echo what everyone else has said; kid every time.
A smart guy can earn cash anywhere, but no guy is smart enough to get back the time lost when not seeing his kid.
Just my take on it mate.
You have my sympathy
2 things important : your kid and your health
A word of caution , when i ran my own business it all got out of hand working 18/20 hours everyday .
This went on for several years and i was ‘fine’ i thought but in reality i couldnt see wood from the trees .
Then 1 day wallop . id caught a ‘virus’ that was called viral vertigo . ( not caused by tiredness in itself but fatigue had left me low and open to it )
This knocked me out for 3 or 4 months when i couldnt balance or drive or read or anything .
I lost everything during this time and it was all self inflicted by over work
If i get tired now it comes back , can never get rid of it only have good weeks/months
My youngest family still loved me and didnt love me any less when i was skint . we learnt to spend time doing cheap things like cycling camping and hill walking .
When they get to secondary school yr relationship will change as they have new priorities
Point is i think u probs too tired to see woods from trees .
Change your job and focus on your health and kids …
You can never get either back once you have lost them
carryfast-yeti:
kids come first of course.if you can,try and improve your relationship with your ex.,and you may be able to sort out access to your child which suits all of you.forget any bitterness about who done what,or why things went wrong.they did,obviously,so just accept it and move on.i’ve been there twice,and it’s not nice,and it’s cost me a fortune…but that’s life!
My mate had a similar situation to o/p
He decided to try and develop some sort of truce with her. It was difficult as it was him that ■■■■ off with a younger bird.
He basically bit the bullet and offered to help her any way he could, he showed her his pay slips, was straight with her and even she realised he was doing his best to help her and his kid.
It did take time, but he got to see his boy.
In fact the young bird walked, and it took 18 months and they got back together. Not saying that will happen to you, but you could start by talking to her.
In my case I missed a lot of the growing up of my 4 kids, but at least me and the Mrs stayed together and she brought them all up well. Holidays were the best they came with me all over Western Europe, not all 4 at once 
On reflection, I would maybe have done a lot of things differently. Trying to balance tramping with family life is not easy.
I missed my kids growing up due to driving and working away for weeks on end. I split up with their Mother and moved away. I even lost precious time with my Son, as some of you know lost his battle with cancer. So now I’m home every night with the present Mrs BV1. Not used to it yet, but have succumbed to being with loved ones rather than sleeping on some crappy ind est for no night out money.
Little one every time.
Change hours with agency. The CSA are going to get you no matter what, the ex will do whatever she wants and you can do nothing about it. What you’ve not got, they can’t have. You’re no good to your youngster when that wagon goes in a ditch due to fatigue, you will cause misery to other road users, the transport company, maybe charged with driving while unfit, loose licence, then how do you continue seeing the little one and pay the bills.
Sorry for being brutal.
Your child comes before anything ,in a blink of an eye they have grown up and you’ll have missed out ,no money can replace that ,the best of luck to you hope it all works out great.
Guy Martin new book " When your dead your dead "
When I split with my kids dad we made are own arrangements as we were Adults the kids did not ask to be born the kids did not as us to split the kids did not ask they did get my time I did change my job & hours to suit yes I did claim working tax & child tax credits he payed my not a lot we sorted that out less then £5k in solicitor fees n total
The kids are not what I cal 'porns" not to be played with hope these people realise what they are doing to there kids as well it will not end good keep all your paper work form solicitors & when said kids reach an age or on your death they can then read how hard you tried
You can only do you best with what you have & do what you think is right at the time for you
Kids don’t need a lot what they do need is a pedants / grandparents love more than anything else
1 of the best thing I bought my kids when really young were torches cost more for the batteries then the torch when they get to there teens they don’t want you around as much then you can go out & earn more money change jobs give them different things
Stop take a check settle down deep breath move on
Animal, I think you meant to say your kids aren’t pawns![emoji15]
damoq:
Animal, I think you meant to say your kids aren’t pawns![emoji15]
nah porns are better
robroy:
I thought agencies were supposed to be flexible.
My thoughts exactly…why didn’t you just take the required time off?
Looking again at your post you have got a big problem here with distance, your ex must live a hell of a long way from you “6 hour round trip”
I don’t know your personal circumstances but whatever it is keeping you where you are and you must have considered this before but I’d say look at it again.
It would make it a whole lot easier if you lived closer.
The other is your agency, do what I did, I won’t go into my circumstances on here but when I signed up I told them I can do no more than 9 hours due to child care issues.
It’s been a bit of a bumpy ride and have had a few confrontations with transport staff trying to send me out on 12/13 hour shifts and I’ve told them I am not doing it because I made it known that I will not do more than 9 hours.
I’ve now found a great little number, pulling fridges on local runs, and am now a member of the “100 mile round trip crew” 
beanie:
Little one every time.
The CSA are going to get you no matter what.
not true…both my divorces my ex’s kept them out of it…that’s why it’s best to get on good-ish terms with her
I haven’t read every reply, but the gist of them is the same as what I would say, family first and work a close second, as you still have bills to pay.
I was very fortunate when my kids, who are now 24 and 20, were small, as I only did 2 nights out a week, and they were fixed days, but as soon as the company opened a depot over the west side, that put paid to my nights out, and boy was I pleased, as it meant that I saw my kids every day and did until the wife and I split up last year and we are now divorced. I used to work with a lad that left our place to go to Stobbies, (And iirc is still there and he was on THAT programme.) and when I got my class 1, he shadowed me for 2 weeks before leaving, but I always remember telling him that as a tramper, he will regret being away as there is nothing worse than being on the phone to the wife, and her saying, “John has done this today, and John has done that,” and those are moments in the kids life that happen only once, and if you are not there, you will miss them and regret it for the rest of your life.
You need to sit down with the ex on neutral territory if you can, (Not easy I know.) and discuss the best way forward for the little un, (Try not to get into a slanging match as you will only give her the bullets for the gun.) and if you can’t do that, then a word with the agency might be an idea, but the problem is, transport is so unpredictable, and it only takes one smash on the motorway, and your day is foobarred anyhow, so maybe a change of career might be the way forward to achieve what you need.
Good luck with it fella.
Ken.
Ask Ronnie Pickering to do you a small favour
mozzy666:
:!:
Ask Ronnie Pickering to do you a small favour
don’t tempt me
Big Roy:
Looking again at your post you have got a big problem here with distance, your ex must live a hell of a long way from you “6 hour round trip”
I don’t know your personal circumstances but whatever it is keeping you where you are and you must have considered this before but I’d say look at it again.
It would make it a whole lot easier if you lived closer.
The other is your agency, do what I did, I won’t go into my circumstances on here but when I signed up I told them I can do no more than 9 hours due to child care issues.
It’s been a bit of a bumpy ride and have had a few confrontations with transport staff trying to send me out on 12/13 hour shifts and I’ve told them I am not doing it because I made it known that I will not do more than 9 hours.
I’ve now found a great little number, pulling fridges on local runs, and am now a member of the “100 mile round trip crew”
I offered to move closer but she ensured that she destroyed me financially and emotionally then left me in a house in need of complete renovation which I would lose the only money I had if sold in that condition, and if I moved that far I would still have to make the return journey so that little one could see her Paternal family who she loves to bits. I am looking at getting on a 4 on 4 off a few agencies are offering guaranteed shift patterns at the moment.
cheers