BMW drivers

[del949]

A day from the diary of a BMW driver…

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways,

which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road!

I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me,

I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on!

(They’re not free points either - they’re £20 each and I was only allowed 3.)

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won’t be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT’S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

Not mine, pinched it from somewhere else

[waddy640]

Brilliant!

[truckerjon]

was it one of the new series, with the telepathy transmitter instead of indicators?

[suedehead]

truckerjon:
was it one of the new series, with the telepathy transmitter instead of indicators?

Spot on - thought they were an optional extra !! ?

[hyper26]

dont tar us all fella i agree though some seem to think it is MY motorway

[rob_k]

hyper26:
dont tar us all fella i agree though some seem to think it is MY motorway

It is!

[jrl_driver]

fpmsl

quality that mate

[chilistrucker]

ha,ha, pmsl, and i’m the proud owner of a classic m5.

its limited like the truck, but at 155mph instead of 55mph

[carryfast]

chilistrucker:
ha,ha, pmsl, and i’m the proud owner of a classic m5.

its limited like the truck, but at 155mph instead of 55mph

That’s one of the reasons why I prefer the 6.0 Litre Jag because it has’nt got a limiter so it’s a case of achtung spitfire on the autobahns and payback time.

But if you ask them the local agent might de restrict it but how long it will last at max revs in top is anyone’s guess.

[bobthedog]

Uh oh,… Our hijacker is back

[flat_to_the_mat]

Carryfast:

chilistrucker:
ha,ha, pmsl, and i’m the proud owner of a classic m5.

its limited like the truck, but at 155mph instead of 55mph

That’s one of the reasons why I prefer the 6.0 Litre Jag because it has’nt got a limiter so it’s a case of achtung spitfire on the autobahns and payback time.

But if you ask them the local agent might de restrict it but how long it will last at max revs in top is anyone’s guess.

STFU,as before with the BDA v Quattro argument,it’s not what you’ve got but how you can use it Yes I have a BMW(in storage for the winter)

[bobthedog]

Personally, I don’t think anything can beat the 1.9 diesel Golf. Great car, and in this weather you can make it drift like a Jag…

Not that I am stirring or anything…

[animal]

Well they do say a man car is just an extension

[chewyboy]

I own a bmw and drive a tipper does the above. Apply to me nope lol

[carryfast]

flat to the mat:

Carryfast:

chilistrucker:
ha,ha, pmsl, and i’m the proud owner of a classic m5.

its limited like the truck, but at 155mph instead of 55mph

That’s one of the reasons why I prefer the 6.0 Litre Jag because it has’nt got a limiter so it’s a case of achtung spitfire on the autobahns and payback time.

But if you ask them the local agent might de restrict it but how long it will last at max revs in top is anyone’s guess.

STFU,as before with the BDA v Quattro argument,it’s not what you’ve got but how you can use it

In this case we’re talking about the laws of physics which say that something which is limited to a speed of 155 mph just can’t go faster than something which can run faster regardless of who is ‘using’ the thing and the fact is anyone who’s driven a classic M5,or a modified V12 Jag,flat out,without causing destruction on the roads,can obviously use the things anyway just like those drivers who drove those BDA and Quattro rally cars.But like that limited (or de restricted) M5 versus that Jag there’s no way that BDA ■■■■■■ could outrun that Quattro.

[bobthedog]

The Jag probably wouldn’t start anyway… Terrible, unreliable junk.

[transitvan_45galdrum]

I drive a jag xjr, fast as ■■■■■■■■■ and never let me down, even when I crashed it through a hedge in the snow it still kept running!

[carryfast]

bobthedog:
The Jag probably wouldn’t start anyway… Terrible, unreliable junk.

video.google.com/videoplay?docid … 3779274240 (5.04-5.31) (7.59-8.29)

[bobthedog]

There is nothing wrong with any of the cars really, not even BMWs, but the attitude with either Jag or Beemer is one of superiority. Take our hijacker here. A thread about scabs becomes a political pile of ■■■■■■■■, as does one about unions, as does one about LPG…

Now the thread about BMWs is rapidly turning into something else. And my buick started at -38 last week without being plugged in. Lets see either of your Jags do that.

In the US, BMW are more of an image than a car, much more so than in the UK. They are really quite insane about it.

[squiddy]

bobthedog:
There is nothing wrong with any of the cars really, not even BMWs, but the attitude with either Jag or Beemer is one of superiority. Take our hijacker here. A thread about scabs becomes a political pile of ■■■■■■■■, as does one about unions, as does one about LPG…

Now the thread about BMWs is rapidly turning into something else. And my buick started at -38 last week without being plugged in. Lets see either of your Jags do that.

In the US, BMW are more of an image than a car, much more so than in the UK. They are really quite insane about it.

Agreed. Nothing wrong with the actual cars, it’s the image created by people falling for the advertising. When I look through the window of a BMW I expect to see hot headed arrogance or mind numbingly shallow vanity. Not always the case. Some nice people also drive BM’s. I was shocked when recently my dad got one after decades of calling BM drivers ■■■■■■■

Sad how the advertising people can manipulate the little people though. Anyone remember an audi advert a few years ago which portrayed the car as some sort of predatory spider creeping up on its prey and destroying it? They could have highlighted superior audi engineering, safety features, one of the most reliable cars on the market etc, but no … they went with ‘this car is evil. this car kills other cars. this car is HARD goddamit’. Sad to say, but they probably got their advert right. People are more likely to buy a car that is advertised as cool and superior than buy a car that will save your life and save you money. What kind of person were they appealing to ffs?

End rant