OK folks I’m going to become a dad for the first time this November (fingers and toes crossed ) and as I’m away all week tramping I was wandering could it work doing both??
I don’t want to give up tramping as it’s in my blood and I want to be the best dad I can be for my son or daughter and also I want to provide my kid with the best in life which a tramping wage can give.
I understand in today’s climate what with Skype and facetime on I pads and I phones it is a bit easier being away than it was in the 80s -90s and when you’be been away all week you only look forward to the time you spend with your kid.
I could go on days but I feel you’d still hardly spend quality time with the kid as you still end up doing 13-15 hour shifts then
Going home for 6-9 hours before you are back at work again. Doing nights would be OK but I would be down about £400-£500 a month in wages as we get a set £100 for about 6-7hours work on nights. I’d appreciate your story’s on here about being away from home with a baby or young kid. To provide for doing the best for them good or bad and I’ll except those that don’t agree with me. I just want a shove in the right direction from those that have experience of this as all this is going to be a new and rewarding time of my life
Well, firstly, congratulations!
I’ve got twin boys who will be 16 years old in a few months. Apart from the first 15 months of their lives, when I drove a taxi on late ■■■■■ so I could be at home as much as possible to help their Mum, I’ve been tramping ever since and I’d say I’m probably closer to my kids than 99% of Dads.
Give it up, I wish I had. But it has paid the bills, you will notice how much baby has grown when you get home, But in this day and age we have Skype and face time so you will still be able to see baby.
You do whatever makes you and your family happy and congratulations, so far best 24 years of my life, I just hope when baby goes to university they have made the process of applying for a loan easier. 
Oh and I think my wife and daughter would go mental if I was home everyday now.
Congratulations steve,my wife is expecting our first child in November aswell
I came off tramping late last year when I took a job pulling containers about and while I notice my wage may be down on the net pay by about £80-£100 a week il be honest I don’t really notice it as I don’t spend any money at work now.
I do between 10 -12 hour a day only do 15 if it’s a bad day and only do occasional nights out when we are busy or if the day goes wrong,I take a fresh made lunch with me every day and my health and life quality is a lot better.
Since finding out we are expecting our first child I’m so glad I took this job as I don’t think I could leave on a Monday and not see the wife and baby for a whole week then turn up on a Saturday morning with a bag full of washing and have 36 hours of been a dad before I was off again.
My mate who works 8 hours a day as a printer said he can notice little changes in his little lad every day when he gets home so god know what a week would be like…
I always said tramping was in my blood and I would never have even considered a driving job that wasn’t tramping a few years ago but I’m enjoying my job and doing other stuff on an evening and I’m going to have time to be a dad…
As Harry monk says it must work for some family’s and this is just my opinion and situation.
Good luck whatever you decided to do.
You may earn more being away all week but unless you spend that money on a mortgage do you just waste it on things you don’t need. You and your wife have decided to have a baby so don’t miss out on it growing up.
I did it and regretted it. The worse bit was when my youngest went off the rails a bit and I got the blame because I wasn’t home enough. That was when I binned the tramping and started working locally. Going away all week then trying to fit a weeks worth of being a dad into a weekend just didn’t cut the mustard!
You might be down in wages but you might qualify for Working Tax Credits which will pull some money back for you.
I was tramping for the first 11 years of my kids lives,when my 1st was born i was on a night out in Bristol.
It paid the bills,it was more money than being a shunter doing local stuff.
I probably had more quality time with my family tramping than I would have had working shifts in a local sawmill. In the mill it was 5 1/2 days nearly every week. Long shifts working with muppets made me tired, crabbit and at times depressed. I also got into drinks with the boys thing, and football on a Saturday. That left me with a Sunday with the family, but often in bed after lunch depending on shift.
I went tramping, even on a big week on the tippers I was home before midday on Saturday. I binned the season ticket, and enjoyed my time at home more.
I did a stint on local work but that didn’t work too well, 15 hour days and trying to get to sleep when a family is still having fun want working for me. So back to tramping.
I’m often local to home now so can go home if need be, but I tend to do my card so I can be done by mid afternoon on a Friday. Rarely do Saturdays, think I’ve done 3 Sundays in 7 years.
I don’t regret it at all. Both my wife and I think we wouldn’t be together if I’d stayed at the mill!! I only rarely go out without the wife, just a few pints with friends while my daughter is out with her friends.
A lot more quality time in my opinion. BUT everyone is different and end of the day you can only do what you think is best.
Good luck, oh and congratulations!
How did ya do tht?
No Dashboard Video?
Congratulation anywhy
When my daughter was born, she is 12 now, I jacked in trucks and went on to taxis working Thursday to Sunday on nights, leaving plenty of spare time for family with no loss of earning, well was actually a bit better off, never missed any of the important steps in the early years.
What was good, is if you wanted go some where for family days out, places were virtually abandoned due to every one else being at work and school. after the first couple of years I ended up on doing winter months cabbing and summer months doing holiday relief as and when I wanted to, but still doing the odd weekend shift cabbing as and when.
Been back tramping full time about 3 years after splitting with her mother, and I am now seriously thinking of going back to splitting my working year between cabbing and trucking again! 50 this year and want to cut my working hours down without a loss of earnings!
Been driving class 1 for 26 years now, but wouldn’t want to give it up completely!
I’ve got 4 kids between 16 and 28, I missed most of all of them grow up and I will always regret it, although they have all at different times spent their hols going with me. Not many firms allow that nowadays and I reckon that is a shame for both the Dad and the kids, as it is a good way to bond.
It has often been thrown back at me during arguments that I was rarely there during their growing up years, and that does hurt, but even so their upbringing hasn’t suffered as they have all turned out ok.
Looking back I should have got a proper job and been there, as I have learned that there is a lot more to life than spending most of it driving a bloody truck 
On the other hand out of 6 mates that I went to school with, and met up at a 50th lads weekend reunion, the only 2 of us that were still together with the same wives were trampers.
So your a tramper and your girlfiends suddenly pregnant (seems legit)…
Seriously though as its your first this is whats lifes all about, start looking around now for a new job with less nights out, 1 or 2 a week shouldn’t hurt.
Make sure you are there at the birth, its an amazing moment.
Theres milestone moments I would advise you not to miss, i.e. the first time your son/daughter says dadda, crawls, smiles, walks
Not guaranteed you will be there for those but during the early years your partner will need your support.
You will also find that suddenley everything in life is put into context and you have a responsibility more precious than your own excistence.
Sorry i’m getting all gushy as I’ve had 4 and am now enjoying time with my granddaughter (you have that all to look forward too).
Massive congratulations though and start planning a career / job change now…
The foundations you create during your childs early years will shape their whole life and yours.
Dipper_Dave:
So your a tramper and your girlfiends suddenly pregnant (seems legit)…Seriously though as its your first this is whats lifes all about, start looking around now for a new job with less nights out, 1 or 2 a week shouldn’t hurt.
Make sure you are there at the birth, its an amazing moment.Theres milestone moments I would advise you not to miss, i.e. the first time your son/daughter says dadda, crawls, smiles, walks
Not guaranteed you will be there for those but during the early years your partner will need your support.
You will also find that suddenley everything in life is put into context and you have a responsibility more precious than your own excistence.
Sorry i’m getting all gushy as I’ve had 4 and am now enjoying time with my granddaughter (you have that all to look forward too).
Massive congratulations though and start planning a career / job change now…
The foundations you create during your childs early years will shape their whole life and yours.
+1
CONGRATULATIONS.
Being at the birth of both my kids was awesome & as Dave says it makes you go all ‘Gushy’.
Number 1 when Jenny was born was ‘China in your Hands’, brings tears to my eyes every time it’s played, even now.
I even had to pull over for half an hour, just before Xmas when my 'Step’Grand Twins were born, when I got the call from Lady ‘V’.
A lot of drivers/trampers I know ended up divorced 10 years down the line, a few make it work, so you’ve got to look at what you’ve got & how you can keep it together.
Working all the hours & heavy drinking at weekends cost me my first marriage when the kids were 9 & 7 (broke my heart) back in the 90s, but I managed to keep in touch with them at weekends & holidays. Now we’re not as close as I’d like to be, but then, at least they’re not on the doorstep every night.
Good Luck with everything.
Just wondered opinions on the reasons why the relationships break down when on the tramping/out 2/3 nights a week
Congratulations on the baby mate,
Frogz:
Just wondered opinions on the reasons why the relationships break down when on the tramping/out 2/3 nights a week
It’s nothing to do with tramping, the Queen has four children, three of them are divorced (the fourth one is “married in name only”).
It doesn’t matter what job you do, whether you drink or not, or smoke or not, fish, play golf or watch football, I once read of a woman divorcing her husband because “He’s always out working and when he’s home all he ever does is DIY”, and you would think that working hard to make a nice home would be fairly benign habits, desirable habits in a man even.
It’s just that no matter who a woman is with, she gets to 40 and a little bell goes off in her head and she has to leave her husband. It’s as simple as that. 
As long as you have a good wife who can cope, and if she realises that this is how you put food on the table then all well and good. Its trying to juggle work and home life that is the real bummer when away all week. Both my kids (in their 30’s now) arrived when away on continental work. What was left of a weekend, well, Sunday afternoon & Monday morning to be truthful, after getting home from wherever, was spent with the kids. At that time of my life I looked forward to going away knowing I was earning reasonably well.
Looking back myself after all this time I did not want the job to end, I had to be away to earn the money but started to feel guilty in being away. By the time the kids were about ten to twelve years old it became more of an issue for me, I needed to be away but couldnt wait to get home, that changed over the next couple of years to dreading going away and actually starting to hate the job. For me it all worked out in the end, The wife and I are still very close, the kids have grown up with no hang-ups about the fact I was never around much. The only thing is that I’m home every night now with just the wife and I for company, the kids are working their nuts off to support their own families
Congratulations fella, having a child is 1 of those life changing events, you have much to look forward to.
I’ve got 4 kids myself & for most of their young lives i was away either Mon-Fri tramping or for up to 3 weeks at a time when i did European work. It wasn’t ideal, & now i’m a Grandparent i do get the odd pang of guilt when i’m asked by 1 of my kids when they 1st walked, or when they had their 1st tooth through etc. However, kids are very forgiving & me being away wasn’t that big an issue to them, especially as i would make a point of spoiling them when i did get home, it didn’t make up for the time i wasn’t there, but, me not being there was something the kids were used too, & we had a good standard of living, holidays every year etc.
My own Father was a career soldier & often ‘dissapeared’ for up to 6 months at a time (N Ireland x4, Cyprus, Aden, Kenya) & myself & my brother have turned out well, & we had a great, loving relationship with both our parents.
Although i regret missing seeing them grow up, i can justify my absence, because i know i provided them with a nice house, a good upbringing & all those other things that earning a good wage brings.
It’s not an easy decision you have to make, but, whatever decision you make, your son/daughter will love you no less, as for your missus, only time will tell.
My da was driving when I was younger and it didn’t do me any harm
I’ve heard Mumsnet.com is very good!