fredthered:
I’ve heard Mumsnet.com is very good!
Have they got a Mumsnet CSI who think they can work out how relationships break up? and to answer Dipper Dave the dress were sown when we was in Antigua in March
fredthered:
I’ve heard Mumsnet.com is very good!
Have they got a Mumsnet CSI who think they can work out how relationships break up? and to answer Dipper Dave the dress were sown when we was in Antigua in March
^^ The seeds were sown not dress!
Child no 1:
Never saw him apart from weekends. He’d scream when I picked him up because he didn’t know WTF I was. I was too knackered to want to do much with him.
Child no 2 was born 6 years later. Vowed not to do what I did with the first one. Was doing agency and it worked out great as I could decide to take odd days or a week off whenever I wanted and was home most nights. Far better.
I will say that there’s plenty of divorced trampers…
It’s not the quantity of time you spend with a child, but the quality. I wasn’t driving when my daughter (19 soon) was younger, but I was a manager in retail, doing earlies or lates. If I was on a late, chances are she was gone to school before I got up. And if I was on an early, everyone was still in bed when I went to work.
My missus was a childminder at the time, which paid really well, and HMRC (used to, not sure if it’s still the same) wouldn’t take a penny off her, as it was easier not to, as she could offset so much of her outgoings against tax.
But if I was coming home to a house with 5 or 6 screaming kids, who kicked off if I turned Tweenies or Tellytubbies off, then I’m afraid I just used to walk past the house, straight to the boozer, and await a text telling me the last one had gone home.
I then took a 2 year secondment converting Safeways into Morrisons, living away all week. Wasn’t ideal, but I was living off my fuel expenses, and for an entire 2 years I didn’t touch a penny of my wages (and I was getting 25% on top for being away)
However that money meant that we could have plentiful, decent holidays, and great days out, memories you can’t take away.
None of the family have ever said that if we were to do it all over again we’d change anything.
It’s cost me two marriages, made my eldest daughter almost hate me over the years, my last UK job in particular made my then second wife walk out, I could be away for a month or or more. Since living here I did become self employed and worked coast to coast for a short spell, I saw most of this wonderful country but the calls from my little girl were heartbreaking to say the least, I gave that up and took my present job to be home for at least the weekends and some odd week nights, even that puts a strain on things, it’s a money trap, there’s no way I could work Monday to Friday (most weeks) and make the same wage. I only have 7 years to go before I retire and I can’t wait.
You can have fun with nights - but you have to be a father to a tramper…
It’s very difficult to juggle tramping and family I started tramping /continental work in 1963/2000 then no skype /mobile phones etc I was often away for 2weeks at a time I was hooked on continental work especially running to Reggio Calabria southern Italy in the end my missus found someone else and left with my 3lads did I learn? Of course not had access but always away my ex told the lads I was not interested in them all went sour not seen or heard of them since 1976 did I learn ? Of course not here I am now just retired 3 failed long term romances about 300 ex girl friends 8house moves travelled Asia USA Phillippines Europe and still on my own really speaking I should not have got married in the first place all my women said I had a commitment phobia driving for me especially in the 1960s/70s/80s was my life not work driving now is just a job everything has changed for the worst all I will say if you not like me you are a family guy put them first what ever you need to do ,as for me I have loved my life being on my own does not bother me and it’s true what the other guys on here say the time you miss with the kids growing up you never get back I retired in 2012 at 70 years of age and hated the last few years to many changes over the years had some really fun times and still got some friends from 40years ago Drive safely out there
My son is almost 5 and I now see him only on a weekend, it’s tough because I talk to other drivers at our place who are home every night,an especially this time of year they are telling stories of getting home and taking the kids out to the park etc while your parked on an industrial estate 200 miles away.
New born’s are hard work and with you working away won’t do your missus any favours.
I’m like you, I work hard and plough money into a savings account for him but that doesn’t make up for what you miss while down the road. At 18 he might well have 20 grand in savings but all his childhood memories are without me, and it will be years before he’s mature enough to understand why dad was never around.
Should the time come where me and my missus are ever expecting again,I’d drop the nights out in an instant. I’d rather stack shelves in tesco than miss out on what I’ve missed in 5 years. Me an his mum are no longer together and I put truck driving down as a major factor in that, not all relationships are the same though and I’m sure that wouldn’t be the issue for you.
Good luck with your decision and congratulations on becoming a father, it’s true what they say ya know, there’s no better feeling in the world than becoming a parent
Money ain everything. Its not what you earn its what you spend it on. Cost of living out here in Greece is higher than the UK. But we live on very little and I love it. Quality of life.