An Irishman I could barely understand who sent me onto another industrial estate only for to find it was 100 yards down from where I asked him.
Went into a car hire place, 6 of them behind the counter, none knew yet it was only just down the road.
Was in the Fens and saw a bloke walking his dog. Got out the cab and his little collie thing was yapping. Turned out to be a bonkers fenland inbred and launched into a tirade about approaching a barking dog.
couldn’t tell you local stuff if I have no need to know it … it like askin the vicar where the ■■■■■ house is I bet he wouldn’t have a clue but ask a catholic priest where the children’s home is
Very rarely ask for directions these days, if I’m struggling to find somewhere then a quick phone call to the customer or a look on google if available is all that’s required. To many tossers about these days who would quite readily give you duff info just for a laugh.
No point asking me directions round here. I know the roads and the short cuts but not the names of those roads. i know where the industrial estates are but only know the names of a couple.
If I do occasionally get asked directions I either say I don’t know or make something up and send them that way.
alfa man:
Very rarely ask for directions these days, if I’m struggling to find somewhere then a quick phone call to the customer or a look on google if available is all that’s required. To many tossers about these days who would quite readily give you duff info just for a laugh.
No much use asking in Cotswold villages either. If it’s in the week the houses will be empty as they’re second homes for Londoners.
Or you might find some yokel who’ll answer like this…
“Straight down thar me duck, past the Carpenters Arms (closed in 1974). Turn at Mr Pikes cottage (hanged for murdering his mistress/sister in 1950), and drive half a mile until you reach the old station (closed in 1959 but yokels still blame Dr Beeching for it). Turn left at the old hangmans tree (died from Dutch Elm Disease) turn left and drive under the old railway bridge (11 foot height limit but combines go under it). Go past the aerodrome (closed following the atomic bomb drop on Hiroshima) and take a left. Or might be right. You should see the phonebox. Wait a minute it got knocked down by a kid in a Metro the day Diana died. Anyhow if you get to the manor house it’s not there but Mr Smith will know. Ask him, if he isn’t dead yet.”
You
I couldn’t find XYZ Ltd but luckily their tel. no, was on the delivery note. So I rang it and a young lady answered:
She: WYZ Ltd.
Me: Hi, I have delivery for you, I’m outside McDonalds. Can you tell me how to find you?
She: No.
Me: Please. I’m causing a bit of an obstruction. Please give me a clue.
She: No
Me: Why not?
She: I don’t know how to get here
Me: But how do you get to work in the morning?
She: On the bus
I asked a local in Shrewsbury on the Wrekin for a farm I couldnt find, he told me “Yes this is the place, but its not the farm, go away”
So I trundled up and down the lane and passed an Austrian artic a couple of times going the opposite direction.
I decided to flag him down on number 3 passing, it was tight as hell on the country lane. I asked where he was going, wouldnt you know, the same place, the flt I had on the back was to unload him at this mysterious farm
After much map searching as no phone signal and sat navs where useless as a lane we needed was closed for resurfacing and Mr Austria decided HE was following me (fool)
So I found a route the old fashion way through an residential area with a 7.5t limit, at that point I didnt care, Mr Austria went nuts at the farm as he was not happy with the trees hitting his new cab.
I gotta say it was funny watching him doing a Faulty towers style rant and all the contractors howling laughing, I got away double quick
Delivering ‘Rowntrees’ to Dublin in early 2000’s I(PSN - Pre Sat Nav !) I stopped to ask a guy where it was, showed him the notes. He told me to come back at the next roundabout and when I get to a set of traffic lights get in the right hand lane, next set of lights turn right again before moving to the left and bearing right before turning left… then the place is on my left… Basically he guided me complexly around a roundabout which had traffic lights on it… If he would have said you’ve just passed the place…it was that gate back there I would have understood quite clearly !
I couldnt find a place up way up north of Aberdeen a couple of years ago. Some tiny village. I asked one of the locals and I got,in thick northern Scottish accent,
“Och aye,its jist doon roond the coorner up bin paas them coos. Gy richt pas the wee shoppe an its richt on yer richt haun side,ken?”
Anybody remember asking “Charlie” for directions in Swindon on the cb years ago? It was a real education to listen to him giving direction to half a dozen drivers at the same time.
Never found out anything about him, but his local knowledge was encyclopaedic, to say the least.
Personally, if the sat nav and the web/google earth fail me, I ring the office and ask. Never have a problem with them, far from it. Good chaps that make the job so much easier.
Years ago, it was a standing joke with me that no matter where I stopped to ask directions, I always got: " cannae tell ye jim, am frae Glaisgea massel". The first time I stooped to ask for directions in Glasgow? Yep, he was from Bristol! D’oh!!
Euro:
I couldn’t find XYZ Ltd but luckily their tel. no, was on the delivery note. So I rang it and a young lady answered:
She: WYZ Ltd.
Me: Hi, I have delivery for you, I’m outside McDonalds. Can you tell me how to find you?
She: No.
Me: Please. I’m causing a bit of an obstruction. Please give me a clue.
She: No
Me: Why not?
She: I don’t know how to get here
Me: But how do you get to work in the morning?
She: On the bus
alfa man:
Very rarely ask for directions these days, if I’m struggling to find somewhere then a quick phone call to the customer or a look on google if available is all that’s required. To many tossers about these days who would quite readily give you duff info just for a laugh.
Yep.
Yeah, me too.
Can’t remember the last time I got out of the motor to ask!
Hull is a strange place and I’m sure there’s other towns like it. Ask someone in the city on one side of the river Hull where somewhere is on the other side and you might as well be asking them where somewhere is on Mars.
Deepest Berkshire. I asked a ‘local’ where to park up for the night.
In his strongest Irish accent, he asked what I had on board and suggested parking up next to these caravans in a nearby field.
