Advice wanted Warrington area for Plastic Tang

[robroy]

Talking to my mate Beaver yesterday,.seems he’s now on for some Paddy outfit or another.
Still needs to get back to his ‘own bed’ overnight though so he hasn’t gone full on ‘proper trucker’ yet , but continues to play at it instead.

Anyhoo he wants to rock the ‘‘Full on Tang’’ vibe sat in his leather seat in his blinged up motor,.and pass off as a REAL Tang .(although he’s a bit miffed he’s having to sacrifice adding to his vastly stocked uniform collection) …but I sent him this for starters,.and sent him a pair of my old Ray Bans which were a bit scratched…but hey, it’s Beaverboy…owt for nowt.

Anybody reccomend a Stetson, (not to wear just to place on his dashboard of course.)

He’s really into it, his Scouse accent is disappearing, and he’s starting to finish all his sentences in a dodgy Belfast twang with ‘‘Aye so it is’’ and saying things like ‘‘Catch yerself on’’ and he’s finally stopped telling me to ‘’ '‘Hey,.hey,.calm down calm down’ while nodding his head as Scousers do…so he’s getting there, he’s even ditched the shell suit ffs…

So if you are anywhere near Thelwall and some Paddy is giving you grief sat up your arse with a full row of Hellas blinding you in your mirror, it’s only Beaver trying to fit in.
Anybody know where you buy those ‘‘Living the dream’’’ stickers, he’s becoming a nuisance at Poplars shop.checking if they are in stock.
Btw he ain’t even a real Scouser, but I know it annoys him.

To any miserable basts about to comment…it’s a bit of Bank hol fun ffs.

[stu675]

Hope he doesn’t take it too far!
trucknetuk.com/phpBB/viewto … 2&t=112750

[gingo]

he’ll need one of these , to be sure , engelbert-strauss.co.uk/bus … E3EALw_wcB,

[eagerbeaver]

This is what happens when you associate with people who like being an overnight security guard on £2 per hour folks

The mighty Beaver will now be seen steaming past your crappy 460 bhp fleet spec garbage can in his DAF XF SSC 530

Reflect upon your driving career failure in your driver facing camera whilst wearing your hi vis and being terrified to reach for your spam sandwich which your other half reluctantly created for you the previous evening. Reach for your cold can of Red Bull on a warm spring day from your fridge to then sadly realise you don’t have one

Think about your sweat stained & ■■■ burned CLOTH seat base whilst the UK’s finest artic steerer cruises along with his pert and handsome rear being cosseted in hand stitched leather…(heated and/or cooled obvs).

Spare a few seconds to digest the dread of using lane 1 or 2 while ascending Windy Hill as the great & gifted Beaver storms up lane 3 and then decides to go full tang in Lane 4. Just imagine the huge wedge of sweet cashola thrust into my manly hands after very little work whilst marshalling your 33 pallets of biscuits in a line at Aldi to be then told they are in the incorrect order for £12 an hour

Despair upon the ridiculous situation you are in at 5.30 am as a crow lands on the top of your recycled sardine tin bouncing around like a yoof on laughing gas, just around the same time as the daymen climb out of bed with your other halves.

If you cannot reach the dizzy heights of the incredible Beaver do not despair. Well, by all means be miserable as your inferior fleet spec motor, handballing, poor pay & crap shift pattern should obviously get you down but…have hope. Play your cards right like Bruce and you too could be one of lorry driving rock stars. Peace.

[peirre]

Rob he doesn’t need a Stetson, he should be looking for an Aussie acubra hat which are far superior to others. But failing that try looking at the hats and caps website hatsandcaps.co.uk wheee a suitable alternative can be found for a bargain price

Tbh I always thought those DAF XF SSC 530’s where a bit Ghey and mere mortals like me would never be seen dead in one

[albion]

Thelwall…that’s posh!

[robroy]

Hey warra bat ya Beaverboy, yer still ma hero so ya are.

Here’s a:guide to help you fit in as a newbie tang, and help you with losing that Scouse vibe.
citytoursbelfast.com/belfast-slang-words

All this help and guidance from Mentor Rob is gonna cost you a mega breakfast btw.

[peirre]

I suspect that it won’t be long before another company uniform is acquired to add to already bulging wardrobe of company uniforms

[beefy4605]

Somethings not right here
No self respecting tang would be seen in a SSC Daf 530 , if it’s not a V8 your not a tang , maybe this is some kind of apprenticeship, maybe he is being tested to see - "if his face fits " then again its beaver - he’ll make his face fit (or so I’ve been told )
Best of luck Beaver - I’m sure you’ll fit right in lol

[robroy]

beefy4605:
Somethings not right here
No self respecting tang would be seen in a SSC Daf 530 , if it’s not a V8 your not a tang , maybe this is some kind of apprenticeship, maybe he is being tested to see - "if his face fits " then again its beaver - he’ll make his face fit (or so I’ve been told )
Best of luck Beaver - I’m sure you’ll fit right in lol

Don’t worry…His quiet shy demeanour and modesty will see him ok
.

God I’m gonna get some grief next time I see him .

[big_truck]

Tangs aren’t from Belfast they’re mostly from Co.Armagh and you CAN’T qualify to be one until you’ve done a season
“@ the grass” FIRST!!!

You will also need to smoke 40Regal “per trip”" AND drink two crates of Redbull same trip!!!

Sent from my SM-A125F using Tapatalk

[eagerbeaver]

Top of the mornin to yers.

I’ve looked through the suggestions and many thanks. I now look like Woody out of Toy Story ffs Although I do like the look to be sure. Can’t stay though, off to buy a dog off my mate Seamus and then I have some cargo to get on t’boat.

Treated myself to some air horns from Lymm just to make sure you fleet spec bums get out of my way and I’m all set for t’ferry.

So away with y’all & get to [zb] outta me way. Got money to make so I have…barp barp.

[robroy]

eagerbeaver:
I now look like Woody out of Toy Story ffs .

[the_nodding_donkey]

eagerbeaver:
This is what happens when you associate with people who like being an overnight security guard on £2 per hour folks

The mighty Beaver will now be seen steaming past your crappy 460 bhp fleet spec garbage can in his DAF XF SSC 530

Reflect upon your driving career failure in your driver facing camera whilst wearing your hi vis and being terrified to reach for your spam sandwich which your other half reluctantly created for you the previous evening. Reach for your cold can of Red Bull on a warm spring day from your fridge to then sadly realise you don’t have one

Think about your sweat stained & ■■■ burned CLOTH seat base whilst the UK’s finest artic steerer cruises along with his pert and handsome rear being cosseted in hand stitched leather…(heated and/or cooled obvs).

Spare a few seconds to digest the dread of using lane 1 or 2 while ascending Windy Hill as the great & gifted Beaver storms up lane 3 and then decides to go full tang in Lane 4. Just imagine the huge wedge of sweet cashola thrust into my manly hands after very little work whilst marshalling your 33 pallets of biscuits in a line at Aldi to be then told they are in the incorrect order for £12 an hour

Despair upon the ridiculous situation you are in at 5.30 am as a crow lands on the top of your recycled sardine tin bouncing around like a yoof on laughing gas, just around the same time as the daymen climb out of bed with your other halves.

If you cannot reach the dizzy heights of the incredible Beaver do not despair. Well, by all means be miserable as your inferior fleet spec motor, handballing, poor pay & crap shift pattern should obviously get you down but…have hope. Play your cards right like Bruce and you too could be one of lorry driving rock stars. Peace.

Whilst the Keen Rodent tries to keep his Red Bulled eyes on the road, having forgotten what day it is, or indeed day or night, the Nodding Donkey switches on his tablet from the comfort of his bunk and puts the kettle on,whilst the dairy operative connects the pipes to his tanker. Sipping a fresh cup of Earl Grey, The Donkey tries to remember what physical interaction with the load, or even the trailer curtains, was like, but the the process is but a faint memory.

A faint smile forms on the Donkeys face, as he watches a reefer arrive, and back onto a free bay. The driver, wearing the customary dealer boats, fake RayBans and Ben Sherman shirt, jumping out of his V6 bestickered high rise, and trot at pace to open the trailer doors. Having backed onto the bay, the driver climbs back behind the wheel, and asummes the classic “head on the wheel” sleeping position. Another reefer driver stands by the office door, gesticulating wildly at a company operative, threatening to “lay the ■■■■■■ out”. No doubt an unforseen problem has delayed his loading, and he’s now late to “make the boat”.

The Donkey, having finished his cuppa, considers wether to heat up a home cooked Carbonara Pasta now, or to wait until he parks up in his favourite quiet hidey hole, and have a steak and chips later.

'tis a laugh, this tanker driving.

[peirre]

These plastic paddys are a nuisance, it’s like when St.Patrick’s day comes around and they suddenly have an Oirish accent. Yet they have never been to Ireland and their closest Irish relatives are 5 generations away.
The plastic Scott’s are the same, the ones around me are born and raised in yorkshire, yet when they meet another plastic Scott the “see you jimmy” accent is switched on

[robroy]

peirre:
These plastic paddys are a nuisance, it’s like when St.Patrick’s day comes around and they suddenly have an Oirish accent. Yet they have never been to Ireland and their closest Irish relatives are 5 generations away.
The plastic Scott’s are the same, the ones around me are born and raised in yorkshire, yet when they meet another plastic Scott the “see you jimmy” accent is switched on

A bit like the Man Utd ‘‘home fans’’ most of em are from Essex,.Kent and the home counties, but they think of themselves as ‘proper Mancs’, the only connection they have to Manchester is they never miss Coronation St.
This video shows how they behave when they get back from Old Trafford.
youtu.be/ZDKF8KkD7rE

[atjt]

Does he understand the need to incorporate the word “yoke” twice in every sentence?

Falling at the first hurdle if not

[md1987]

peirre:
These plastic paddys are a nuisance

Like Joe Biden at the moment

[beefy4605]

the nodding donkey:

eagerbeaver:
This is what happens when you associate with people who like being an overnight security guard on £2 per hour folks

The mighty Beaver will now be seen steaming past your crappy 460 bhp fleet spec garbage can in his DAF XF SSC 530

Reflect upon your driving career failure in your driver facing camera whilst wearing your hi vis and being terrified to reach for your spam sandwich which your other half reluctantly created for you the previous evening. Reach for your cold can of Red Bull on a warm spring day from your fridge to then sadly realise you don’t have one

Think about your sweat stained & ■■■ burned CLOTH seat base whilst the UK’s finest artic steerer cruises along with his pert and handsome rear being cosseted in hand stitched leather…(heated and/or cooled obvs).

Spare a few seconds to digest the dread of using lane 1 or 2 while ascending Windy Hill as the great & gifted Beaver storms up lane 3 and then decides to go full tang in Lane 4. Just imagine the huge wedge of sweet cashola thrust into my manly hands after very little work whilst marshalling your 33 pallets of biscuits in a line at Aldi to be then told they are in the incorrect order for £12 an hour

Despair upon the ridiculous situation you are in at 5.30 am as a crow lands on the top of your recycled sardine tin bouncing around like a yoof on laughing gas, just around the same time as the daymen climb out of bed with your other halves.

If you cannot reach the dizzy heights of the incredible Beaver do not despair. Well, by all means be miserable as your inferior fleet spec motor, handballing, poor pay & crap shift pattern should obviously get you down but…have hope. Play your cards right like Bruce and you too could be one of lorry driving rock stars. Peace.

Whilst the Keen Rodent tries to keep his Red Bulled eyes on the road, having forgotten what day it is, or indeed day or night, the Nodding Donkey switches on his tablet from the comfort of his bunk and puts the kettle on,whilst the dairy operative connects the pipes to his tanker. Sipping a fresh cup of Earl Grey, The Donkey tries to remember what physical interaction with the load, or even the trailer curtains, was like, but the the process is but a faint memory.

A faint smile forms on the Donkeys face, as he watches a reefer arrive, and back onto a free bay. The driver, wearing the customary dealer boats, fake RayBans and Ben Sherman shirt, jumping out of his V6 bestickered high rise, and trot at pace to open the trailer doors. Having backed onto the bay, the driver climbs back behind the wheel, and asummes the classic “head on the wheel” sleeping position. Another reefer driver stands by the office door, gesticulating wildly at a company operative, threatening to “lay the [zb] out”. No doubt an unforseen problem has delayed his loading, and he’s now late to “make the boat”.

The Donkey, having finished his cuppa, considers wether to heat up a home cooked Carbonara Pasta now, or to wait until he parks up in his favourite quiet hidey hole, and have a steak and chips later.

'tis a laugh, this tanker driving.

I love a bit of tanker work - the only problem I have with it is the office staff call us “Tanker Wnkr’s” any advice on how I could stop then calling me that ? lol

[stu675]

beefy4605:
]

I love a bit of tanker work - the only problem I have with it is the office staff call us “Tanker Wnkr’s” any advice on how I could stop then calling me that ? lol

Move to France , citerne branleur doesn’t have the same ring. [emoji23]