Next time i go to Germany and get pulled by the BAG then i’ve got a cunning plan.
When they ask for my paperwork i’ll shout “ACHTUNG SPITFIRE”
They will run for cover, I will rev up and [zb] off. and then i’ll get away without paying the usual 350 euros.
However, the plan could backfire. They might not run for cover, then they may arrest me.
Which scenario is more likely to happen. 
The Focke will still get you 
Might work if you have a good spitfire sound effect to go with it.
If the Spitfire thing doesn’t work, you could always unleash that time-served classic “2 world wars and 1 world cup eh Fritz”.
I wonder how long it takes to rag a Brit wagon driver out of the cab and lob him into the back of a police van? Mmmmmmm, let me think about that for a while… 
After that, you could form a committee with the other Brit and Yank prisoners and dig a bloody big tunnel (without Jerry noticing a thing of course!) and surface on the other side of the fence during the dead of night. Make your separate ways to the railway stations using the fake id’s “The Forger” made you all, and disappear off for the rest of the war.
Not you though Phil…you’ll need a crappy old motorbike and sidecar to go hell-for-leather towards the Swiss border, closely pursued by Jerrys over beautiful but rugged terrain and right at the end…you do a massive bike jump over some barbed wire towards the safety of a neutral Country. Does he make it? Does he not? Do you look anything like Steve McQueen?
Alternatively, you could just stump up 350 Euros and F-off home!
When I was 16 I went on a school trip to Austria skiing, on a coach which spent a lot of the journey driving through Germany.
Being young, stupid and very very drunk me and some friends decided it would be funny to march around a service station at 10pm, goose-stepping and doing Hitler impersonations.
The local rozzer’s saw and came over and were clearly incredibly displeased. It took all the persuasion powers of our teachers and guide not to have us all arrested.
So I imagine your idea would probably go down just as badly.
Alex
Just tell 'em that when your Grandad used to go to Germany he used to be tipped in 10 minutes then run home empty.
I worked with a bloke who during a rather stupid silly schoolboy prank had a tattoo of a ■■■■■■■■ on his hand.
Funny how he was too embarrassed to show it off in public, and would always have his hand in a bandage when he visited the fatherland
Harry Monk:
Just tell 'em that when your Grandad used to go to Germany he used to be tipped in 10 minutes then run home empty.
But they still got flak when they got there 
Harry Monk:
Just tell 'em that when your Grandad used to go to Germany he used to be tipped in 10 minutes then run home empty.
… and never got his cmr signed! i like the old tale (myth) about the BEA pilot in the 1950s who annoyed the german air traffic controllers for some minor infarction, who then asked him if he was a novice and had not flown to frankfurt before - to which he replies “many times, but it was always dark, and i never landed”
Great idea Limeyphil, but I think you’ll just discover the legendary (although untrue) German lack of sense of humour.
jj72:
Harry Monk:
Just tell 'em that when your Grandad used to go to Germany he used to be tipped in 10 minutes then run home empty.… and never got his cmr signed! i like the old tale (myth) about the BEA pilot in the 1950s who annoyed the german air traffic controllers for some minor infarction, who then asked him if he was a novice and had not flown to frankfurt before - to which he replies “many times, but it was always dark, and i never landed”
PMSL at that one
Remeber mate who used to run for cowburns,years ago at a east/west check point he was hauling cattle, and dedcided it would be funny to wrap a brick in plastic cover throw it in the sh1 t collection box and have the german gaurds climb in and find out wot it was !
I miss the days when a One Deutschmark coin was exactly the same size and weight as a British One Shilling coin and you could get a packet of ■■■■ out of a vending machine for two bob.
Or so I’m told.
Harry Monk:
I miss the days when a One Deutschmark coin was exactly the same size and weight as a British One Shilling coin and you could get a packet of ■■■■ out of a vending machine for two bob.Or so I’m told.
I NEVER did that in the late '80’s/early '90`'s! NEVER!
Or you could show them this,if you have an in cab dvd player:
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=S61zLcMFp1A
Ken.
Shrek:
Harry Monk:
I miss the days when a One Deutschmark coin was exactly the same size and weight as a British One Shilling coin and you could get a packet of ■■■■ out of a vending machine for two bob.Or so I’m told.
I NEVER did that in the late '80’s/early '90`'s! NEVER!
I didn’t either!!! honestly, It wasn’t me that took bags of 5p pieces back off leave to Germany and then drive to the surrounding towns of the garrison to use the pay phone to phone home!!
I didn’t do it either when I went on a tour with the local brass band. Can’t remember how we found out, but someone told us it would be a good idea to take a couple of quid’s worth of 5p’s - (the old ones!)
The German caretaker in our NAAFI bar was quite funny and couldn’t pronounce his English swear words properly, every time he emptied the ■■■ machine or the pool table he could be heard shouting “YOU ROBBIN BRITISH BASSARS!!!”
My mate tells me the 2x old 5p trick worked best in Wurlitzer ■■■ machines, but you’ll have to guess whether I tried it myself. 
I remember that there were only 17 or 18 ■■■■ in each packet, so I couldn’t see the point of paying the full price. 
The army rumour service lads have been up to no good with the 5p trick as well
Quinny:
Or you could show them this,if you have an in cab dvd player:uk.youtube.com/watch?v=S61zLcMFp1A
Ken.
Love that clip, It looks like the modern aircraft can give them a run for thier money.
But for me this pilot wins the impressive low flying award.
Or Maybe the last one of these guys.
