Shrek:
Harry Monk:
I miss the days when a One Deutschmark coin was exactly the same size and weight as a British One Shilling coin and you could get a packet of ■■■■ out of a vending machine for two bob.Or so I’m told.
I NEVER did that in the late '80’s/early '90`'s! NEVER!
Me neither, and they can’t prove any different!
Tell them your a ■■■■ hunter and you need to speak to their grandfather…
when i worked in holland we always you to say
“my grandad wants his bike back”
that went down well
The Highway Man:
The German caretaker in our NAAFI bar was quite funny and couldn’t pronounce his English swear words properly, every time he emptied the ■■■ machine or the pool table he could be heard shouting “YOU ROBBIN BRITISH BASSARS!!!”
Have you tried the pound coin trick in the old phone boxes? You put a quid in and chat to the person you need to speak to. Then, when it gets to 10p on the display, put another pound in and push the redial button. Your pound goes through the phone and pops out in the refund tray, but you get a quids credit. 
I saved a fortune in the Army doing that. 