Been involved with trucks for 40 years now either fixing em or driving the bloody things.
Have seen and heard some funny things in this job that just pop into your head when your having a quiet moment then I start to titter then laugh then Im rollin about ■■■■■■ meself.Sure we all have some
memories of ■■■■ ups,misunderstandings or just downright doh! moments.So let hear them.
Eg Once got to Swindon and couldnt find this place for love nor bloody money.
Goes into the local cop shop and hands the notes to the local copper
Says to him " searched all bloody morning for this place do you know where it is?
He looks at me and says “dont know never been there”
“what do you mean you never been there?” says I
He says “Ive never been to Swinton its near Manchester isnt it”
Oh ■■■■ I had just driven down from Preston.So come on its your turn
Not quite as bad as the Swindon-Swinton mix up.
I was booked in to load slag at Margam steel works at Port Talbot,90 miles from here for 6.30am.I set my alarm as I usually did for a 4am start.Woke up looked at the clock 6.30am.
No excuses went to the phone and rang my boss and held my hands up,he re-routed another lorry to do my load.I did a load of lime to a spreader,then made my way to Margam for a later load,then hauled it back to the spreader to spread.
9.30PM finish after 6.30am start,also had to face an unhappy girlfriend who was waiting to be met at her home ( pre mobile phone days ).Not one of my better days.
Cheers Dave.
Very late in my working life I had a Transit van (light haulage). I used to do a bit for Cavewoods (Leeds). About 4:00pm one day big panic, 1 pallet (about 750kg) HAD to be in Germany the following day. Now here’s me (no tacho in the van) “Brian, name you price, it MUST be there”. OK say I, give me the details and EXACT address (sat navs hadn’t been born) and off I went. Get’s down to this small town and started searching for the address. Nowhere to be found, nobody had heard of it. Last resort called in at a HGV repairers and luckily there was a guy who spoke English. "Yes mate, you’re in the wrong town, that team is about 20km back up the road. B loody Cavewoods had given me duff instructions. I wasn’t happy but it sure as hell was a good paying job.
When I worked for George Read at Micheldean.We were having our tea break and talking about lorry problems and that one of the Leylands had to have an engine change.Other lorrys were also talked about.Well I misunderstood my instruction and started to strip the front of the Leyland.I thought it was a bit strange to do it as it was still loaded with tinplate.I was in the back yard working away when the foreman asked,What are you doing? Well the registration numbers of the Leylands were 1101AD up to 1104AD and I had picked the wrong one.Kept my head down for some time as everyone took the you know what.
I remember when Townsons bought 2 new Volvos I was working on a late shift in the garage at the time and we had both of these in there side by side and I was asked to fit the number plates on them, one being PBA309R and the other was PBA310R.Anyway me being a clever ■■■■ decided to fit both front plates on 1st and then go round the back and fit the rear plates.Both vehicles went out for the 1st time a couple of days later and were away from base for 2 days,on there return the gaffer came into the workshop and asked who had fitted the plates on the new Volvos,I did I shouted across to which he came over and said follow me,away we went into the yard and we stood looking at the said trucks and then we went round the rear where he asked if I had spotted anything wrong you can guess I had only put the plates on wrong PBA309R on the front of one and on the rear PBA310R.on the other it was the opposite way round.Bollockings all around the yard for me.dear oh dear
Had to deliver to Anglo Irish at their yard in north London, it was down a small side road so before reversing down I walked down to have a look, the yard was under a very low arch , so told the yard man I couldn’t get in as I had a 40ft tilt trailer on, his reply was “ no problem as we have 50 footers coming in here all the time sir”, but I’ll come up and have a look, his reply when he see my trailer was “Jesus don’t try and take that down there sir your’s 40 footers are bigger than our 50 footers, I’ll bring the fork truck up to you”.
leylandlover:
When I worked for George Read at Micheldean.We were having our tea break and talking about lorry problems and that one of the Leylands had to have an engine change.Other lorrys were also talked about.Well I misunderstood my instruction and started to strip the front of the Leyland.I thought it was a bit strange to do it as it was still loaded with tinplate.I was in the back yard working away when the foreman asked,What are you doing? Well the registration numbers of the Leylands were 1101AD up to 1104AD and I had picked the wrong one.Kept my head down for some time as everyone took the you know what.
Hey there, leylandlover,
I had 1101AD on my first day on the job, after it had been chopped into an artic unit. As I was loaded for Glasgow when I returned, it was decided that I should be promoted to something a bit more modern. I was awarded ex Andy Workman AEC Mercury ADG611B, which I cherished until the arrival of the first Guy Big Js. (See BRS thread).
p.s. Do I know you or did we just miss each other?
This is scary I remember Andy and his son working there.John Dibbell was foreman.Rusty on tyres.I left to work for uncle Richard because I did not like the BRS way of things.Inspect a lorry with no engine in My name is Clive Mason.
Having tipped at Teesport for Kenneth Wilson bulk grain, was given a farm at Sedbergh to load.Not much of a grain growing area ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ find farm,found phone box and rung office at Knottingley.That phone about melted with the tirade that came through it Should of been at Sadberge between Teesport and Darlington.My excuse was that i had been told the farm was along the 66 .I can laugh now,not so funny at the time. :
Know a lad once was sent with a load to BAE Systems at Warton from London somewhere, all day driving then rings the traffic office “I can’t find this [Expletive] Base anywhere”
“You can’t miss it, it’s huge, where are you?”
“Warton”
After much searching, turns out he’d gone to Warton near Carnforth, not the Warton where the base was
Forty years ago today (Mon.1st Nov.1972) I set off in the early hours in my first ever brand new motor, a Seddon 32/4. Got seven miles out of Yarmouth and it siezed up solid. I was cleared from blame but got a lot of leg-pulling of my work-mates. The motor was towed into the Seddon agents,Duffields of Norwich,where the engine (180 Gardner) was replaced. Regards to all Haddy Gt. Yarmouth.
aprox 30 years ago 8 drops lancs 1st drop address somwhere in lancs gt manchester i could not find it rang everone i could ask everyone our sales manager spencer sampson calleding me useless on phone snobby big headed ■■■■ rang back 1 hour later he blamed printing error it was godmanchester cambs went all way down took drop of theb back to lancs to do ather 7 drops he thought drivers were lowlifes did he cop it when i got back regards rowly
Years ago, I’d just got back in the yard after a 2 1/2 day multi drop job with building materials and the last drop had been at Nelson down near Pontypridd. “Where to next then” and I was told by the gaffer, “Back to Nelson”. Different product this time and the trailer was loaded and I was soon on my way. Got there late evening and started asking a few people where this firm was and nobody had ever heard of it. Next crowd of people knew nothing of it either so I rang the gaffer at home and said, “Where the hell is this place?”. His reply, “Just go right to the very end of the motorway, turn right and it’s about 200yds along there on the right”, just seemed to confuse the situation even more. “What motorway would that be” I asked. “M65”, came the reply. “Err, but that’s near Burnley isn’t it”. “Yes, that’s where Nelson is”, replied the boss. “Well, the one I’m in is in Wales and being as you told me I’m going back to Nelson and that’s where I had just come from, I’m back again”.
Ended up, he hadn’t seen my tickets from the previous job, but had just heard Nelson when I had rang in to the office to see if there were any back-loads and ‘assumed’ I was up near Burnley hence the ‘Back to Nelson’ comment. They eventually realised that putting the name of the county on the bottom line of the address may be a good idea. Boss was all OK about it and took the blame himself although I did crop up in conversation every time I went to either Wales or Burnley area.
It ALMOST happened to me! As it happened I would have been able to blame the traffic clerk’s spelling (or lack of geographical knowledge). He had confused “Pembrey” with “Pembry”. One in Kent, the other in South Wales. Close one, only avoided by gossipping about the job with a couple of other vdrivers.
Hiya…i was in that paper mill you can see off the M5 just below Taunton DEVON. this driver from the leeds area
said to me this is DEVON paper mill is,nt it mate■■? i said let me look at your notes, sorry mate the DEVON
mill you need to be at is in DOVER. he said don,t joke me…i replied sorry mate.he than checked with the fork lift
driver, off he rushed like mad,As he left the yard he caught one of his super singles on a girder and ripped the side
out of it. S…t thats what you call having a bad day. I’ll not mention any names, if the poor bloke reads this
he’ll die at the thought of it been repeated.
John
Was in a caff outside Manchester Docks when a driver came in and asked “which one of these Docks is Mostyn Dock”
He thought we were taking the Micky when we told him.
Well the registration numbers of the Leylands were 1101AD up to 1104AD and I had picked the wrong one.Kept my head down for some time as everyone took the you know what.
![PBA309R_VolvoF88_2904x2unit[1].jpg](https://europe1.discourse-cdn.com/business20/uploads/trucknetuk/original/3X/4/d/4d6bbceeb6a44c731ef55c2a23432a2feec41424.jpeg)
I remember Andy and his son working there.John Dibbell was foreman.Rusty on tyres.I left to work for uncle Richard because I did not like the BRS way of things.Inspect a lorry with no engine in 
You go down the M4… 