I didnt think it was very funny at the time but many years ago i had a small garage in Grimsby, amongst other companies i serviced and repaired the fleet of Peter ■■■■■ Potatoes Ltd.Two of them were AEC Marshalls with consecutive reg no’s and both required rear brake overhauls at around the same time so i did one of them on the Sunday and arranged to do the other the following Sunday.
To make my workload easier i arranged for one of the semi-skilled lads to start very early and collect the vehicle from their yard at Tetney bring it back to the workshops, remove the wheels put it on axle stands remove the hubs and brakes and clean every thing so i could come in and rebuild it all. At about 7am Sunday morning i got a phone call at home, err i have only got one hub off and it looks all right to me, ok ■■■■ i’m on my way in “put the kettle on”. I arrived and he said these dont need doing do they, no they ffing should’nt we only did the
bar–a-ds last week you have brought the wrong ffing lorry.We finished quite late that day.
Never tighten the bolts on an oil sump with a ratchet, … They snap 
When I drove for DOW years ago before sat nav’s I was given an address in the former jugoslavia , Jastrabeska. I found it ,it was a small village near Zagreb, but it should have read Jastrebarsko, which was the other side of jugo.abot 300 kms away. 
Stanfield:
I remember when Townsons bought 2 new Volvos I was working on a late shift in the garage at the time and we had both of these in there side by side and I was asked to fit the number plates on them, one being PBA309R and the other was PBA310R.Anyway me being a clever ■■■■ decided to fit both front plates on 1st and then go round the back and fit the rear plates.Both vehicles went out for the 1st time a couple of days later and were away from base for 2 days,on there return the gaffer came into the workshop and asked who had fitted the plates on the new Volvos,I did I shouted across to which he came over and said follow me,away we went into the yard and we stood looking at the said trucks and then we went round the rear where he asked if I had spotted anything wrong
0
I remember him for that, he didn’t miss much even with one eye! 
I remember two things about two places already mentioned.
Preston is a little village on the outskirts of Hull, there is another one apparently. I was working in a garage when this car pulled up asking for directions. I pointed them on the way and he asked is that the M61 over the field. I said no that is the M62. He was at a loss how he had missed the turning when he came out of Manchester 
The other less serious mix up was Swinton. Doncaster or Manchester
ive heard a rumour that someone ( i dont know who ) apparently went to kingston upon hull instead of kingston up thames
ive also heard that someone swapped a trunk trailer over at the start of a trunk instead of the end and took the wrong trailer down south …
some folk
about 30 years ago, i was working along side my mate, we both had mercedes artics and delivered to a job in middlesborough, at the time we were re- loading from clevestone transport in hartlepool. harry the shunter R I P told us to drop our trailers and he would load them and pull them out onto waste ground. so that we could go to cafe and then pub. harry came into the pub when he finished work, and came in with our notes and told us trailers were loaded for 3-00 am start. we quickly looked at our notes, my mate was going to enfield and i was going to gillingham. by 3 o clock we had roped up and were on our way, quick breakfast on A 1 and arranged to meet at sheerness steel to load that afternoon.i arrived in gillingham and started asking the usual, postman,paper boy milkman, no one had heard of it. i went to police station and after 20 minutes was told this firm did not exist. made a call to clevestone, and was told it was gillingham dorset. needless to say the language was very ripe and after another 4 or 5 hours i arrived at gillingham dorset. too late to tip. not a happy bunny as we were payed on percentage of earnings. terry
First day on the agency, ADAMS FOODS at RADLETT, A DAF rigid cooliner with sliding sides with 5 drops for TESCO around Portsmouth area, I found first drop, very pleased with myself, but first drop is on the bulkhead at the front of the truck!! same all day drops wrong way round ! When i get back to yard i was told that i should have reversed the notes at the start of the shift !! i ,ve never heard of that before ! messed my day up,gave them a laugh !!!
In the late 50s I was in Manchester M.T. & got a return load from Claribell Motors, about 3 pick ups, & 1 out of their depot in Fairfield Street .they were all for Newcastle area , But when I was tipping the next day I had a drop for Newcastle u Lyme, Not my fault of course as it was for A Co-op warehouse as were the rest of the load, Anyway I got some stick off my mates about it, but my gaffer Jonny Baxter said it turned out well enough as he got paid for the job & paid to take it back to Claribells , Happy Days Eh, Regards Larry.
When I worked for Stobart’s (early '90’s) There was a Stamford based driver who had been begging to take a load over the water.
The first load he had to take was for Melle, Belgium ( It’s near Gent), but he ended up In Melle Germany (near Osnabrück).
It was his first & last load abroard for Stobart’s…
bowser:
ive heard a rumour that someone ( i dont know who ) apparently went to kingston upon hull instead of kingston up thamesive also heard that someone swapped a trunk trailer over at the start of a trunk instead of the end and took the wrong trailer down south …
some folk
Billy Fuller(butterbum) once took an empty trailer from Swindon to Istanbul.
rocky 7:
bowser:
ive heard a rumour that someone ( i dont know who ) apparently went to kingston upon hull instead of kingston up thamesive also heard that someone swapped a trunk trailer over at the start of a trunk instead of the end and took the wrong trailer down south …
some folk
Billy Fuller(butterbum) once took an empty trailer from Swindon to Istanbul.
When was that Roy. I have never heard that one before .
You would of thought that when they opened him up at Kapic or Ipsala somebody might of mentioned something.
Yeah! Steve,Someone put the same number on two trailers I think it was.Anyway, I heard that Billy picked it up at Swindon, got plumbed up at dover and went all the way to Istanbul,all there was on it where two empty cages.
rocky 7:
Yeah! Steve,Someone put the same number on two trailers I think it was.Anyway, I heard that Billy picked it up at Swindon, got plumbed up at dover and went all the way to Istanbul,all there was on it where two empty cages.
Well Roy if that’s true he certainly was a Silly Billy.
99.9% of the drivers who I can remember would of climbed into the back of a loaded trailer to see how it was secured, I know that I always did. And who would of fully laced up an empty tilt instead of folding over the back corner, not me boss 
.
Regards Steve.
Back in my tyre fitting days, i was sent out on a breakdown to Poulton nr Cirencester,the address was a printers.
En route i was thinking “wheres any factories out there, its only a village ffs”
I stopped and asked for directions in the local post office and straight away was told " i think you will find the place you are looking for is in Paulton - Somerset"
Obviously not the first time the gent in the po had been asked
Actually went to the said printers in later years on more than one occasion when i started lorry driving 
Sorry . . double post
I heard a similar story, an agency driver at tesco was given his notes, i dont think his english was very good, as he went to Birmingham shop solo without a trailer !! imagine the backdoor mans face when he looked for his load !!
I had asked to be home all week as the wife was pregnant so was let of my usual Barcelona job to do the uk, home every night joby…I had to pick up an import box van from Portsmouth the number being 1013 or something, loaded with packaging (light) destined for Bromsgove and back empty. When I go to the ferryport I went to the marshals window and asked for the location of the said trailer and was told slot… but you might have a problem as the fire brigade are there dealing with a spillage, I went over to see and suggested that I move the trailer I wanted that would give them more room to empty the leaking trailer, fire chief agreed and let me go and get my trailer so long as I was quick!!, 1013, nice one!! Drove to Bromsgove to deliver the packaging in no time. When I got there I opened the back doors and got hit on the head by a tailors dummy?? Check the trailer number, yeah you got it i had trailer number 1103 and I had been given the wrong location my the marshal in Portsmouth… Derr should have checked and double checked…
Called the office to be told that load of manikins was an export load that had to be in Paris the next morning and I would have to take it. Had to tell the wife…
I worked for Ben Shaws soft drinks Oldham in the 1960s. One April fools day the lads decided to wind the TM up.(Hedley). He was a real Company man. Several of the lads left the depot and parked on Burnley lane. One of them rang him up and excitedly shouted down the phone that his lorry was on fire and that the pop bottles were exploding all over the place. So the TM dashed outside got the Ford ■■■■■■, put a bucket of sand and a bucket of water on the back and went tearing to Burnley lane. Where he was met by a dozen or so drivers and mates in hysterics. Think he did see the funny side of it…eventually.
Ray
Doing an Agency job for the old Tesco depot at Strood, I was given the notes for Hythe and New Milton. I had never heard of New Milton so I asked where it was. Having been told, I commented that the two didn’t go very well together and that I didn’t know there was a shop in Hythe. It turned out they meant Hythe near Southampton, not Hythe near Folkestone.