Murphy’s Law of the Open Road - When there is a very long road upon which there is a car parked at random, and there are only two vehicles on that road, it follows that the two vehicles are going in opposite directions, and they will always meet at the parked car.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
In any organisation, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence (that is to say they keep getting promoted until they have a job that is too hard for them), and then remains there.
Stuck in traffic and your lane is at a standstill the lane to the right is picking up pace so you decide to change lanes. The new lane has now come to an immediate stop and the original is now the fastest moving of all the lanes!
The caravan in the lorry park will have always taken the last easy spot and the one next to it for their deck chairs, leaving you with a near impossible blindside reverse.
Big Roy:
The elderly lady/ gent in the Micra wearing a hat doing 50mph on the motorway will always speed up to match your speed when you move out to overtake
And they will always pull right out infront off you normally out off the local garden centre cause they “don’t want to get stuck behind that” then do 15 mph for the next 3 miles!
Despite every man / woman on any t.v. channel predicting all week it will snow at 14:00 Monday and the first flakes falling at 13:59:
It will always catch the highways, local councils, airports and railways completely by suprise.
When you phone a D.C. to check the status of a vehicle it’s always next to tip / backing on a bay / or “were just sorting his paperwork now”.
Despite the driver telling you there’s 17 in front.
It’s law that firms employ at least one driver who is a billy two sheds.
Not only willl two sheds tell you how he’s better than you in all aspects but he’ll advise you which firms are best to avoid despite never having worked for them.
Sheds however work in shifts as one leaves another arrives and debunks the others bull then tells you the same stories but with a slight twist.
You’re approaching a set of traffic lights with a red light camera. The lights are on green. You approach cautiously. You know they’re going to change any second… but they don’t. You floor it. The lights change.
When approaching roundabouts in the middle of nowhere late at night the only other vehicle that hour to use them gets there just in time for you to give way to him. And just as you stop because he’s not indicating and looks like he’s going round, the ■■■■ exits onto the road you are on.
The other half rings to find out wot time u b home? U say 5 and end up with a night out.
A decent song comes on radio u turn the volume up and lose reception.
on multi drop work especially doing town centre drops like pubs,argos etc you will encounter some p—k who have parked their car in the unloading bay so they can f–k off and do their weekly shop leaving you blocking the road off so you can tip then making you the ars-hole in other drivers eyes,then when village idiot returns to their illegaly parked car they dont appologise,dont think they have done anything wrong and tootle off into the sunset leaving you feeling like ripping the head off the next poor soul to say “hello” to you in kind!
You arrive at that RDC that normally keeps you for 2 hours so you put it break for 45 minutes and what happens 20 minutes later your done and somebody is waiting to get on that same bay.
If you work nights you will drive for miles on a motorway without seeing a soul UNTIL you catch up with the truck in front. Suddenly there will be 10 cars doing 57mph in the middle lane just as you need to pull out meaning you either have to pull out ridiculously early or come off the limiter.
Sir +:
As soon as your boss says the words ‘Can you just…’ you will/should know that your day will not go well.
Also the boss tends to say “I’m doing you a favor by giving you some extra mullah to pick up from (somewhere)” instead of “we zbd up we need you to go (somewhere)” … and (somewhere) is always … “just down the road … it’s only a few inches on the map”
Saaamon:
Stuck in traffic and your lane is at a standstill the lane to the right is picking up pace so you decide to change lanes. The new lane has now come to an immediate stop and the original is now the fastest moving of all the lanes!
The caravan in the lorry park will have always taken the last easy spot and the one next to it for their deck chairs, leaving you with a near impossible blindside reverse.
Sorry to derail, but I’ve almost always found lane one goes faster … even round junctions
Customers that say we get them down here all the time, the bin lorry and milk tanker can do it, you arrive in artic, too big , wont fit down the lane.
If you are supplied with their mobile phone number, you know it will be a tight fit, farmers dump their machinery where you need the space, at night you can end up in a hole or hit something in their yard.
No need to wear a hi-viz or hard hat on a farm, and the wife will make you a cuppa.At least he can tow you out of trouble.
