40+ NEWBIE

[js8576]

Hi

Have always wanted to be truck driver having felt that it may be the only job that would suit me. Never been able to settle down in any other job. Problem is I have a history of depression and anxiety. Have also suffered from Avoidant Personality Disorder for a long time which is a more extreme form of social phobia. I think I can trace my problems back to being a kid. I joined a martial arts class on my own (hoping to toughen myself up a bit) but had nobody to pair up with so the instructor pulled me out to the front of the class on my own. That has blighted my life ever since. Have never been able to hold a job down. Probably spent longer on benefits than I’ve worked. To make matters worse have recently had a lot of problems with noisy neighbours came real close to arming myself with shotgun and dealing with them, but never been a confrontational person and tend to shy away from it. But I can understand why people have done it.

I’ve always considered truck drivers to be the outgoing, extrovert, not easily fazed type of person, the total opposite of me. This gives me some concerns as to my suitability for the job.

I know from previous experience (albeit having only passed my car test shortly before) that multi drop work isn’t really for me. This was transit van 50+ parcel drops. Panicked a bit and didn’t go back following day.

Are there HGV jobs that are not as stressful as others? Had chance of a job years ago back in my twenties driving a huge engineering truck. Very high off ground rather than long. Problem was two people worked together, nights away. If it was on my own I would have taken it. Could have driven on car licence but they would have trained me on rigid. The other guy would have probably got fed up with me sitting in room reading and wanting to go out drinking, etc… [Not that i’m suggesting truck drivers drink too much ]

Ideally I would like the driving to be more incidental to the main job as that would have been. Although I would be happy to combine the driving with something else such as the extra technical skills for tanker work (probably very difficult to get) or hiab, but I imagine both of these would be multidrop as well.

Another problem is with the 35 hours cpc. I would not be able to sit in classroom with groups of people. Can this be done 1:1 or worse case scenario 2 or 3 people?

I am determined to do at least C training/test even if I never end up using it in a job. Got theory tests all booked up with hazard this Friday and other two in early August. Been at hospital most of this morning with a suspected DVT. Had one last year. Inconclusive so need another ultrasound next week. Got tender heel as well! Lasts a year apparently and then disappears as mysteriously as it came. Same leg so whether the two are connected, who knows. Maybe all the stress I’ve had hasn’t helped.

Anyway any advice would be appreciated (even negative if you want to steer [excuse the pun] me away). I don’t want to spend the next 20 odd years of my working life the way I’ve spent the last 20. Need to commit myself but just have these nagging doubts. Would be nice to make a living out of it if I could. I’m sure with a bit of experience it will be fine and hopefully find my niche somewhere. Not too bothered about the money just want a job i’ll enjoy. Especially important in the case of people with Avoidant PD else we just leave!

I know some people might think you need some help mate. I’ll tell you that writing this has been more therapeutic than any therapy I’ve ever had. Had an art therapist spend 30 minutes staring at me in silence. Maybe she was waiting for me to ask for some crayons. My personality is the way it is. No therapy is going to change that.

Thanks.

Should have started thread with Dear Deidre

[evil8beezle]

Hi pal and welcome to the forum!

Really sorry to hear you have such severe confidence issues. But I’m also puzzled/surprised that considering these issues, you have able to be so open in your post… (Well not really actually! )

To me, without even starting the discussion of whether truck driving is for you, I think you need to seek out some focused confidence building support/therapy. You are going to meet, and have to deal with people in any job pal! Fixing or improving your root issues, has to be better than effectively running away from them, which is what you’re wanting to be by isolating yourself. From the way you talk, you are a highly sensitive person who cares too much about what others think of you. But here you are anonymous, and this is why you have just been able to express yourself openly and honestly.

So my INITIAL advise is stop giving a ■■■■ about what others think of you, ■■■■ em!

P.S. Not sure you should have included the going “Postal” on your neighbour with a shotgun part, and I’m assuming you were trying to give some context to you being non confrontational, but pushed beyond your limits, you don’t really know what your capable of. And that scares you!

[truth]

I can’t help you with the questions you ask , as I am a newbie myself, but all the best and I hope you find happiness in whatever job you get mate …

[rog]

For the first 5 year dcpc DQC you have the option of doing the initial dcpc theory and practical tests if you passed car test before 1997 - if passed car test after 1996 then you must go down that route

To continue after the first 5 years you do the 35 hours dcpc but to do it 1 to 1 will probably cost you a few thousand pounds

[js8576]

Hi Evil8Beezle (or Deidre if you prefer )

[I was going to upload picture of Black Star Ninja with quote “He possess great skill”. But cannot figure these settings out. Page very slow to load (or won’t load) as well so can’t access it very often.]

Your pretty accurate in your analysis of my situation. I’ve always been better writing than talking. I didn’t want want to give the impression that I cannot deal with people. If you were driving down the road in your truck and stopped me asking for directions [I’m sure doesn’t happen very often ], assuming I wasn’t lost myself you would have no indication that anything was wrong with me. It’s primarily groups that I have difficulty with. Walking down the aisles of a warehouse picking stuff [never again I hope] is tolerable; standing around tables with a load of people (or even a few) packing stuff is not. Even uncomfortable sitting in waiting rooms if more than a few people.

Your certainly right about the confidence issue. Probably way too sensitive in my case. Most definitely care too much what others think of me. Always been that way. Ironically the thing that may have started all this off maybe the cure. You would have a hard job persuading someone with APD to join a martial arts club.

You should write to one of the trucking magazines see if they want to start an Agony Uncle page!

For anybody else you would be right in recommending therapy of some kind but people with this condition rarely come to the attention of the medical professions. Normally our lives have been disrupted in some way. The very type of therapy they would use is the very types of situation that we would avoid (hence the Avoidance in the title). Which is why treatment is pretty much impossible. Can’t treat someone if they won’t turn up.

I’d have no problem in day to day dealings with people as part of the job. Would not tolerate sitting in classroom with groups due to the fear of having to introduce myself, etc…

I came real close to the “postal” [not a term I’ve heard before] issue. Sitting there at a table with the applicaton form. Had nobody as a reference so couldn’t take it any further. Not a nice place to be in. Not just the noise but the idiots at councils/housing associations who have blood on their hands. For every one person who is “postalled” ■■ by a neighbour there are thousands maybe millions whose lives are cut short due to ill health or suicide.

Anyway, are you suggesting that maybe it is not right for me as a career or could I find a niche somewhere. Like I said I would like to get cat C anyway. I suppose unless I get job, even part-time, I would never know.

Thanks for your advice.

Thanks ROG (I could tolerate 2 or 3 small group if preferably outside of classroom, maybe something practical if hiab could be done as cpc).

Thanks Truth (Good luck yourself).

[evil8beezle]

Mate, I’m not saying driving is right or wrong for you, as there are jobs such as “trampers” who work away all week, sleep in there cab, and hardly talk to anyone. My point for you was; Is that healthy for you, and do you not think that would make your issues worse? As if so, you’re trying to give yourself a life sentence pal! Wouldn’t it be better to admit fully what your issues are (which you seem to have), and then look at ways to incrementally conquer them? I’m not talking about running around the streets in a mankini screaming i’m a bellend! (like I (and probably the Beaver) do! ) I’m talking about you realizing that you HAVE to address and conquer your fears, and to do that you have to take baby steps in the right direction.

I actually don’t really know for sure why you have such a fear of large groups, as I’m not you. It may be school related, but that isn’t important anymore, as adults tend to behave different. If there was a lad in a say CPC course, who was quiet and kept to himself, I’d respect his wishes and leave him be. Are you worried that people would pester you? As for having to introduce yourself, having to talk and risk making a bellend out of yourself, is something everyone worries about and does from time to time. But it doesn’t mean your going to get beaten up in the playground afterwards! Also if someone got up and introduced themselves who had an obvious stammer, I don’t think anyone is going to take the micky. As if it did, the first thing I would probably do, is ask the person who took the micky, who made them the class idiot? I certainly wouldn’t be impressed at the idiots attempt at humour, and I doubt many would be…

I recently did an ADR course (carriage of hazardous good) and in that we had to do CPR on a dummy, and everyone had to do it. We all felt like bellends, and everyone was obviously embarrassed to do it in front of a group. It was painstakingly obvious in everyone’s body language that they didn’t like it. But did it change my perceptions, make me think less (or give a crap) about anyone who did it? Of course not! We just cracked on with what was next. Oh, its looking a ■■■■ again with a fire extinguisher on a computer animated fire! Crack on, get it done, and onto the next part of the course. If fact, a few of us were actually having a giggle during the break of how much a ■■■■ we felt doing that, but mate, participation of having a giggle in the break is not mandatory!!!

The point i’m making pal, is that you are seriously overthinking what people will think (or care) about you. Most people will just get on and do their own thing, and leave others to do theirs. So I think you may have some misconceptions about the majority of people, especially those you will probably never ever see again, i.e. on a course. Maybe you should stop assuming that people will be thinking the worse of you, as that is what it appears to me from what you have said.

Maybe you should stop analyzing yourself so much, and start analyzing other people for a while. As I think you will find that you’re not so very different from everyone else…

As for being an agony uncle, I couldn’t! Because at some point (with some people), I would turn into Doctor Denis Leary!

STFU - Dennis Leary

Plus, this is a trucking forum, so conversation here is generally about Drivers and Wannabe Drivers helping each other. Which surprise surprise mate, is generally what happens!!! There is the odd numpty on here, but the majority of people are helpful, polite, supportive and (at times) witty, funny & amusing! And I don’t think it reflects the mindset of people that you have developed…

P.S. I am available for private work, but my rates are extortionate!!!

[js8576]

I hear what you say. Need to try and turn things around. I’m moving (again!) soon so maybe new start. I feel LGV may be a way of doing it. If I end up walking the streets with a lawn mower working for the council at least I can say I got an LGV licence. Might come in handy one day.

Quick quote below from wiki:
People with AvPD can improve social awareness and skills, but with deep-seated feelings of inferiority and significant social fear, these patterns usually do not change dramatically.

Anyway, no more posts about my issues. I’ll stick with truck stuff from now on. Probably doesn’t help dwelling on it all the time either. I’ll Keep you updated on how things work out. First one of the three theory tests coming up on Friday. Clicking too soon on that. Spot all the hazards and could still fail. I’d be shocked if I don’t get 100% on multiple choice, maybe close to that on cpc.

P.S. What type of work do you do out of curiosity? Would you say it is possible to make a list of the most sought after (not necessarily best paid) down to the sort of work than few would want to do?

Anyway, thanks again.

[evil8beezle]

JS8576:
I hear what you say. Need to try and turn things around. I’m moving (again!) soon so maybe new start. I feel LGV may be a way of doing it. If I end up walking the streets with a lawn mower working for the council at least I can say I got an LGV licence. Might come in handy one day.

Quick quote below from wiki:
People with AvPD can improve social awareness and skills, but with deep-seated feelings of inferiority and significant social fear, these patterns usually do not change dramatically.

Anyway, no more posts about my issues. I’ll stick with truck stuff from now on. Probably doesn’t help dwelling on it all the time either. I’ll Keep you updated on how things work out. First one of the three theory tests coming up on Friday. Clicking too soon on that. Spot all the hazards and could still fail. I’d be shocked if I don’t get 100% on multiple choice, maybe close to that on cpc.

P.S. What type of work do you do out of curiosity? Would you say it is possible to make a list of the most sought after (not necessarily best paid) down to the sort of work than few would want to do?

Anyway, thanks again.

You need to look around the forum a bit pal, as while you will see you’re not so different from anyone else!
You will also see I only passed my Class C on Monday!

So putting my CV together at present and waiting (Patiently ) for my licence to turn up!

Good luck with your theory tests, and it’s clicking too often when you see the hazard is more the issue, not too early. As without testing the system beyond clip 1, I learnt that more than 5 gamer style rapid clicks when i saw the hazard, was too many!

Theory questions are easy if you revise, and a high 90’s score is the aim. So don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get 100. I got 96, and wish the system would have told me which ones i got wrong!

As for job pay and scales, you need to put the work in and join the forum community to learn that…

Best of luck pal!

[truth]

I tell you what Evil , if you are as good a driver as you are at giving advice you won’t got far wrong pal !
Good man

[evil8beezle]

Truth:
I tell you what Evil , if you are as good a driver as you are at giving advice you won’t got far wrong pal !
Good man

Thanks Truth, I’ve been around the block a few times… The SatNav told me to!

[cmb82]

I am a new class 2 driver, early 30’s had my license coming up 6 months now, was lucky enough to get a full time job shortly thereafter doing national multidrop work and as someone who understands a little bit about social phobia albeit an extremely milder case than what you describe I can tell you that wagon driving is by far the best job I have had in that regard.

From my experience what I will say is you need to be prepared for meeting lots of new people, most of whom treat you like ■■■■. From Forklift guys to office staff and even bosses of companies who will take any frustrations they have with your company out on you the driver. You need to be prepared to go into offices full of people who will all stare at you while you seek out the correct person to sign your invoice or give you cash or a cheque but this depends on the type of work you do.
You need to be prepared for your own depot where you will have to go into the office speak to managers etc and of course other drivers and staff will be around too. One other thing which may or may not bother you is the fact that when you pass and get out in the big wide world you will get into situations on the road which will make you ■■■■ your pants. Im talking reversing into back alleys off main roads, or into tight yards, holding up traffic, having no option but to go down tight terraced streets to some back of beyond ■■■■ tip of a place. Getting lost in inner London, cars, busses, motor bikes, cyclists, pedestrians EVERYWHERE your heart will be in your mouth and the turtles head will be forcing its way out.

That said it is not all bad because you will also come across some of the nicest most helpful people you could ever meet in this job too, my advice is to always treat people with respect and in a polite manner upon first contact and usually you will have no problem with them. I went from a job where I spent 40+ hours a week in the pockets of the same group of people most of whom I couldnt stand, it was a snake pit basically to getting out on the road, doing between 1000-1500 miles a week. Some weeks tramping 2 nights some weeks 4 nights with a usual early finish on a friday and I can tell you that it is a much better environment for me to be in so I say that you should go for it mate. Better to give it a try otherwise you will spend the rest of your life regretting it.

[js8576]

Thanks mate. Nice to know i’m not the only one. That’s why i thought it would be ideal job for me. I can handle the day to day contact you describe even if i may not like it too much. Like Beezle said i shouldn’t give a ■■■■ about what people think of me. Saw i guy on TV the other day with serious facial damage and makes me ashamed that i let a few things get me down and worry me.

What does concern me the most is what you say about difficult reversing, driving down narrow places, etc… I suppose with experience it gets a lot easier.

Just a though i had as well: if you had a job with an agency, went out but couldn’t get it all done (assuming multidrop) would they still pay you for the full days work?

[alder]

JS8576:
Thanks mate. Nice to know i’m not the only one. That’s why i thought it would be ideal job for me. I can handle the day to day contact you describe even if i may not like it too much. Like Beezle said i shouldn’t give a [zb] about what people think of me. Saw i guy on TV the other day with serious facial damage and makes me ashamed that i let a few things get me down and worry me.

What does concern me the most is what you say about difficult reversing, driving down narrow places, etc… I suppose with experience it gets a lot easier.

Just a though i had as well: if you had a job with an agency, went out but couldn’t get it all done (assuming multidrop) would they still pay you for the full days work?

Depends on the agency. Some of them send you on a job where you are covering for a guy who knows the route like the back of his hand and gets loaded first by his buddies in the loading bay. You go in as an agency driver and they hate you before you even turn up. They keep you waiting until they have loaded all their full time drivers and then send you out fully loaded that even the regular guy would struggle with. This happened 4 days running to me at DHL on the night network delivering car parts around Newcastle. I started work at 1am and sat around waiting to get loaded with the odd “sorry drive we are a bit pushed tonight”. They then sent me on my way at 4am! Thing is if you don’t get the drops on car parts done by 7am around Newcastle you can’t get in to the back of the forecourts for customers cars. Some pallets may have a whole engine on them! Anyway this happened 4 nights running then I told the agency I was not going back there. They paid me for it but on another agency I was told I would not have to do nights out but they sent me on fridge work and when I did two drops north of London I was told on the phone to get loaded at another depot. I assumed to bring the load back to Leeds but once I was loaded I was told to park up for the night and then do 4 deliveries around North London the following day. I said No I do not do multi-drop and nights out and I have a disabled wife to get back to! He said well I can’t make you and put the phone down. Anyway that agency said I had broken the contract and they did not pay me for that long day. It impacted on me the whole week as I obviously had no work and had to rush around signing for another agency and begging for work. Like a great white shark facing a wounded seal they smelt blood straight away and the following agency had me on a crap multi-drop HGV 2 for £8 around Bradford!

So get through your CPC etc and climb aboard the skylark it is so much fun.

[js8576]

I’ve ■■■■■■ off a lot of agencies over the years and don’t have much of a stable work history. No references either. Obviously would prefer a job with a proper employer but i suppose everyone else would as well. Not ready for training/test yet so i’ll face up to it when the time comes maybe part-time only for a while. Ease myself in

[alder]

JS8576:
I’ve ■■■■■■ off a lot of agencies over the years and don’t have much of a stable work history. No references either. Obviously would prefer a job with a proper employer but i suppose everyone else would as well. Not ready for training/test yet so i’ll face up to it when the time comes maybe part-time only for a while. Ease myself in

You might have to do agency until you have a few years under your belt but you also might get a lucky break. I was offered a full time job after I went for an interview at a firm very local to me a week after passing my class 1. Knowing no better reading the positive crap they post on here about agencies I flipping well turned it down and went to work for an agency. Been stuck with them ever since and have gone through 7 now everyone one of them are crap and will screw you one way or another. Now with the experience not an issue I am hoping to land a decent full time job, bleeding well deserve it I have been through the mill!

[coaster]

Hiya mate… i’m going through the same things… confidence.
I am told I’m a good lorry driver by the instructors. I have learnt the drivers hrs regs. theory but v nervous about putting them into practise.
I have done the odd contract jobs but some bosses dont understand about reg. and one occasion pulled over for 45 min break while im getting bollocked for not getting back to the yard on time so he could lock up and go home F him i thought I;m staying put till 45 mins is up. I am v nervous about hours… esp now!

[js8576]

You might have to do agency until you have a few years under your belt but you also might get a lucky break.

I’ll be hoping for the lucky break if your experience is the norm

I don’t drink, smoke, party, can live off very little. Done it on benefits for a long time. No kids, commitments, etc… so I wouldn’t put up with it. Just tell em to ■■■■■■■ and hope find something better. I’d happily work 2 days a week and live off that if I could

Hiya mate… i’m going through the same things… confidence.

I knew it wasn’t just me I haven’t really got around to the hours yet apart from basics to pass theory. Got 81 on Hazard yesterday. Bit disappointed with score. Got zero for one claimed I clicked to many times. Zombies put you off. Especially the nice lady ones .
These cowboys should know the rules as they won’t have a business left to run if they don’t understand what drivers have to comply with. Drop the the name of the nearest TC into the conversation they might get the hint. Then again you might be out of a job. Then again you might get a shed load of compensation for unfair dismissal.

[alder]

JS8576 that is what I am doing now, I don’t need the money that bad to put up with the crap. Lokking for a full time job now but I am being very picky and checking each one out. If I don’t get a job there are other skills I have so not fussed.

[evil8beezle]

Excellent, my work here is done!

JS8576 - You have more confidence than you realise, as you are smart! The only thing missing is to just remember not to give a crap!
(You’ve overthinking thing pal!)

Alder, You try to be harsh and act bad at times, but underneath you can’t resist being helpful and nice to others!
Best of luck with the job hunting!

CMB82 - Nice input!

[alder]

Evil8Beezle:
Excellent, my work here is done!

JS8576 - You have more confidence than you realise, as you are smart! The only thing missing is to just remember not to give a crap!
(You’ve overthinking thing pal!)

Alder, You try to be harsh and act bad at times, but underneath you can’t resist being helpful and nice to others!
Best of luck with the job hunting!

CMB82 - Nice input!

Its simple I will positively help anyone out if I can but I am dismayed at the amount of people been squeezed out of other jobs whether it is demobbed from the army or let go with a little redundancy pay and coming into this industry. HGV and PSV driving used to be for people who wanted to do nothing else, that was their passion. It used to be a good job as you got paid a good rate for putting up with the terrible unsocial hours and missing out on home life with your loved ones. But in the last few decades it has become a stop gap for people on the way to the dole office. A lot of people are desperate and so come here as a last resort and I think that is a big mistake. Employers are taking on any newbie and shoving them out on runs that in the past you would have been eased into. OK those forced to take this job because they have no option I can understand but when people post utter rubbish like I have a trade or I am university and I FANCY a job been a trucker it gets me wound up and I tell them the truth whereas the bellends who have been driving all but 5 minutes and are in love with their truck and think it is the best job in the world are giving these people very false and dangerous advice. If these people are that gullible to pass on a chance of a lifetime having a profession or a trade it is not only going to ruin their life but also their young family if they have them. I will always advise them not to throw that chance away for this.