A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who’s boss he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won’t be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he Is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now He knows what to do and throws them into the lion’s cage - because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says “What’s the food like here?” The lion says “Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees.” :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:



You’re banned!

Awww come on. Anyway it was Finch, Chimps and Mushy Bees when I were a lad. :confused: Still funny after all these years though.
Here’s another one along the same lines.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
bad breath. This made him… what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)

A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

If these get ANY worse, and it’s hard to see if that’s at all possible, I’m giving up living! :open_mouth: :unamused:
■■■■’ but these are AWFULL!! :imp: :imp: :wink:

Funny as all Hell, mind you, but still TERRIBLE!!! :cry: :cry:

pity ken didn’t do a search as it has been worn out on here b4. :laughing: :laughing: