I was in the loft the other day looking for the Christmas decorations
when I found an unopend Christmas present from last year.
The children were ever so excited and thier faces lit up
it wasnt untill they opend it I remembered I had bought them a puppy 
I bought my epeleptic mate a strobe light for Christmas he’s going to have a ■■■■■■■fit when he sees it 
I bought my epeleptic mate a strobe light for Christmas he’s going to have a [zb] fit when he sees it
great
hiya,
offered an old pal some ■■■■■■he asked me if i would split into four pieces i explained he wouldn’t get a full erection if he only took that amount, he said at 96 if his todger only stood out far enough to stop him ■■■■■■■on his slippers his missus would be the happiest girl in the world, thanks harry long retired.
Harry that cracked me up, I was about to cough when I read the punchline and splattered saliva all over the screen as combined laughing and coughing, top notch!
hiya,
it’s the way i tell em , guy phones his boss ,sorry can’t make it to work suffering ■■■■blindness ,what’s that then ? the boss enquires , can’t see my arse getting out of bed today,thanks harry long retired .