So having managed to avoid Swindon truckstop in over a decade, I find myself here tonight for the first time since 2003. Whether it was the various horror stories I’ve heard over the years, or the faint recognition drifting down wind that this was quite possibly the same lard that fried my egg all those years ago that was assaulting my nostrils now, it was 8.30 before starvation forced me to venture into the restaurant. Whereupon I found that last orders were at 8. Who knows, perhaps there really is a higher power looking after us?
Not really fancying the tin of pea and ham soup or the curried mackerel I have lurking in the cupboard, I took a stroll over to Sainsbury’s to get something from the hot food counter. Pizza? A pie? Maybe a whole chicken? (Blurred memories of a night out in Ostend involving a whole chicken and a dusky damsel ornamenting a scarlet lit window resurface. Still not clear enough to recount exactly what happened…) Anyway, I arrive in Sainsbury’s to find the hot food counter closed too. Is this the 21st bloody century or what?
So I wander about in a gloom, not really knowing where I’m going, when I find myself in the dessert aisle looking at the biggest ■■■■ off tub of triple chocolate dessert I’ve ever seen. And it was at that moment for some reason I thought of my wife… and how she’s always telling me to get in touch with my feminine side, so I thought what would a depressed woman who couldn’t get what she wanted, do? Of course! Buy a big ■■■■ off tub of triple chocolate dessert. So I did. And so it was with a spring in my step and a song in my heart I tripped back to the truck, where I wolfed down the pea and ham soup and the curried mackerel, knowing I’d have a bucket of chocolate to cheer me up afterwards.
It didn’t. Now I feel fat.
Question, have I now found my feminine side? And does this qualify me to shower in the ladies block?
And why am I growing ■■■■? Oh don’t worry, that’s probably the chocolate
Swindon truck stop has diabolical serving times. Makes you feel very unwelcome too. Sainsbugs is the better choice. Which tells you somewat…
I’d rather eat at a homeless hostell than Swindon truck stop,
I even seem to remember the showers had ash trays on the back of the doors 
Regarding the cake my mrs will eat a load of chocolate or cake and then say to me “why did you let me eat all that”,
If you were in touch with your feminine side in sainsbugs u sure the ice cream is all you bought? ? 
lol.
amamdada:
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
Show us yer ■■■■
’ Sun’s out! ■■■■■ Out!
It’s gotta be ■■■ Friday …
I have woman problems to
On a Saturday night she goes to every pub in the town until she finally catches up with me !!!
I had ‘woman troubles’ today, took the wife shopping (school boy error, completed diy jobs to early and told the special one I was bored at home).
As im on a week off I thought no problem but could I park, could I ■■■■… I nearly had to ask one of the trolley shunters to do it. The wife asking if I had passed my test didnt help at all, sure she is gonna dashcam my efforts onto youtube later, or maybe this very forum… 
I found myself out of hours at Swindon Truckstop the other day. She said you want the voucher or shower? Tempted to say neither I went for the shower. I still have the token. Its a proper dodgy old place
switchlogic:
I found myself out of hours at Swindon Truckstop the other day. She said you want the voucher or shower? Tempted to say neither I went for the shower. I still have the token. Its a proper dodgy old place
I didn’t think it was that bad. That being said, I only used it for parking. I went to Sainsburys for food.
Radar19:
switchlogic:
I found myself out of hours at Swindon Truckstop the other day. She said you want the voucher or shower? Tempted to say neither I went for the shower. I still have the token. Its a proper dodgy old place
I didn’t think it was that bad. That being said, I only used it for parking. I went to Sainsburys for food.
Really, did you go in?
Just a mention of the place, for me, readily recalls the stale grease smell.
It can also be a PITA in there pulling out if the person opposite doesn’t park far enough back in the space
With added “DaiDap flaps”
For her comfort…
Should’ve bought yourself a four pack of Guiness instead for dessert!
Not many drivers eat in the truckstop, I see them walking back from Sainsburys with bags of food.
If you walk over the pedestrian bridge over the roundabout, there is a large pub/restaurant that does decent meals and real ales.
The hotel opposite is shut now.
Failing that, a taxi or bus to Swindon.
The truckstop food is dire, cheap catering from a cash and carry, the shower door was hanging off it’s hinges for months.
The door was taped up so much ,it looked like a crime scene from CSI.
They have shut the large bar area, so nowhere to relax after the meal.
But anyone can walk in the parking area,the Police station is a few minutes away.
Chippenham truck stop is much better, nice home made meals, good showers, quiet off the mototway.
Shop has truck stuff.
love your post,but curried mackerel,yuck,disgusting,mind you anything spicy don’t agree with me
Be a woman all you like, but too much chocolate is a depressive. Count up how many times you’ve done the chocolate thing recently, it’s a slippery slope…
