Like many on here I don’t go to MSAs because, well frankly they’re a set of robbing bar stewards but last night I was forced.
I’m coming back from Bicester to West Yorkshire up the M1 and felt the …call of nature at about half 7. I pulled into Watford Gap and the place was jammed. I wasn’t exactly touching cloth so I drove out again, there was nowhere to park so for all the slagging they get loads of punters are prepared to part with their hard earned.
Anyway by the time I get to Donington things are getting more…urgent. So I pull in only to see the same. The place is jammed. The only spot is to blind side in to the last space, not easy when the call of nature is not only calling but howling.
So i hot foot it into the bogs and dash into trap 7. It’s one of these flush by swiping the black button. It flushes as I walk in even though I didn’t touch the flush button. I’m in no condition to complain, the turtle’s head is out.
As I sit down the flaming thing flushes again covering my now exposed arse and ■■■■■■■■■ with cold water. I swear out loud as I evacute my bowels and the ■■■■■■■ thing flushes again.
I stand and squat to finish my turn out and try to both wipe my arse and dry it at the same time. I should have complained but would have been too embarrassed.
So that’s why I don’t frequent Motorway Service Stations. Hope my discomfort brings a smile to faces that need it
I don’t mean to laugh at the unfortunate…but that made me howl 
sorry 
I was in Oxford services last night on the M40, it was a flippin’ free-for-all in there. Wagons abandoned everywhere!
Conan the Librarian:
I don’t mean to laugh at the unfortunate…but that made me howl sorry
That was the intention mate, laugh away
Was your face a little flushed when you left? 
Toilet thing happens to me as I live in my hi viz, like being at some German oompah band, up down up down and so on.
Sack and crack washed. Job done. Keep on truckin.
mick.mh2racing:
Like many on here I don’t go to MSAs because, well frankly they’re a set of robbing bar stewards but last night I was forced.
I’m coming back from Bicester to West Yorkshire up the M1 and felt the …call of nature at about half 7. I pulled into Watford Gap and the place was jammed. I wasn’t exactly touching cloth so I drove out again, there was nowhere to park so for all the slagging they get loads of punters are prepared to part with their hard earned.
Anyway by the time I get to Donington things are getting more…urgent. So I pull in only to see the same. The place is jammed. The only spot is to blind side in to the last space, not easy when the call of nature is not only calling but howling.
So i hot foot it into the bogs and dash into trap 7. It’s one of these flush by swiping the black button. It flushes as I walk in even though I didn’t touch the flush button. I’m in no condition to complain, the turtle’s head is out.
As I sit down the flaming thing flushes again covering my now exposed arse and ■■■■■■■■■ with cold water. I swear out loud as I evacute my bowels and the [zb] thing flushes again.
I stand and squat to finish my turn out and try to both wipe my arse and dry it at the same time. I should have complained but would have been too embarrassed.
So that’s why I don’t frequent Motorway Service Stations. Hope my discomfort brings a smile to faces that need it
It flushes because your hi viz reflectors trigger it. I take it you had the viz on
I wear hi viz t shirts. I’ll take the thing off next time.
No idea how OP managed, public toilets in this country are so dirty & poorly maintained, I’d rather hold it in…
So. This is basically a post about you needing a ■■■. You had the ■■■, got splashed by a bit of water in the toilet?
Last year I got a bollocking off my missus because of an alleged increase in skid marks in my boxers. I explained that because I was now driving trucks,im sat down for hours with a sweaty arse,■■■■■■■ etc.
Eager to please,i tried a new method of arse cleaning the following morning in the shower. It involved lots of Lynx Africa and an intrusive finger.
A few hours later,I was on the M62 and did a huge ■■■■. I instantly got that ’ Oh no,i’ve followed through ’ feeling.
I was only a mile away from the MSA,(think it was Hartshead Moor),so I peeled off,parked up and shot into the toilets to inspect the damage and try and rescue the situation.
Went into a cubicle,dropped my trousers and nervously checked my boxers.
They were full of lovely smelling foam!! Not bothered with the finger method since.
James the cat:
So. This is basically a post about you needing a ■■■. You had the ■■■, got splashed by a bit of water in the toilet?
You think that’s bad, you need to search “in cab ■■■■■■■” on here. 
Isn’t technology wonderful. They should fit these devices in all laybys. Perhaps even litter bins too.
Sounds like a decent splash and dash.
Always best to flush the loo first before dropping the kids off at the pool, I hate to get covered in someone elses ■■■■, well unless im in the mood…
James the cat:
So. This is basically a post about you needing a ■■■. You had the ■■■, got splashed by a bit of water in the toilet?
Yes, that’s about it yes. I thought by sharing my experience might give someone a laugh. Maybe not though.
It wasn’t just a bit of water, it was loads.
eagerbeaver:
Last year I got a bollocking off my missus because of an alleged increase in skid marks in my boxers. I explained that because I was now driving trucks,im sat down for hours with a sweaty arse,■■■■■■■ etc.
Eager to please,i tried a new method of arse cleaning the following morning in the shower. It involved lots of Lynx Africa and an intrusive finger.
A few hours later,I was on the M62 and did a huge ■■■■. I instantly got that ’ Oh no,i’ve followed through ’ feeling.
I was only a mile away from the MSA,(think it was Hartshead Moor),so I peeled off,parked up and shot into the toilets to inspect the damage and try and rescue the situation.
Went into a cubicle,dropped my trousers and nervously checked my boxers.
They were full of lovely smelling foam!! Not bothered with the finger method since.
So this is a post about your misses saying you’re a dirty ■■■■■■■ for leaving her your craoped on pants to clean so you sprayed your backside with lynx and shoved a finger up your arse?
I’m starting to realise why they maybe struggling to attract new “talent” into this job
You might like these amazon reviews of Veet hair removal cream for men. Priceless 
amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK
mick.mh2racing:
James the cat:
So. This is basically a post about you needing a ■■■. You had the ■■■, got splashed by a bit of water in the toilet?
Yes, that’s about it yes. I thought by sharing my experience might give someone a laugh. Maybe not though.
It wasn’t just a bit of water, it was loads.
Could have been much worse! In your rush to the throne room you could have gone into the ladies by mistake and pressed the ATR button…
ATR = Automatic Tampax Remover 