Adonis.:
I talk to other like minded drivers, despite what the permamiserable on here say, the camaraderie and banter still goes strong in certain circles.The other types I pretty much ignore, usually because they’re boring and talk a lot of pish. Or they smell horrendous.
A.
Please don’t tell me there are others like you!
WE ARE DOOMED.
It’s alright for you lot I’m a chuffing magnet for life stories. Now being shy, retiring and innocent looking I tend to attract gentle folk who just want to vent about work but after that it’s the interesting stuff I want the low down on.
It’s got to the point now when I enter an RDC waiting room (always reminds me of the one time I got on the night bus), drivers are almost patting empty chairs next to them for me to sit on.
Anyway here’s my list of acceptable ice breakers:
Hello
Hi
What’s your name (can be mixed and matched with Hi, Hello, etc…)
How’s it hangin drive
Been waiting long
Come here often
Nice bit of reversing onto that bay drive (get this a lot).
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me.
Hello, my name’s pinnochio, sit on my face and I’ll tell you some lies…
Etc, etc, etc,
Unacceptable ice breakers:
How much you on (as mentioned)
Guess what happened to me today. (My first guess here is usually my assailant has swallowed his own ■■■■■).
Soon be Friday (often said on Mondays)
Just made it with a few minutes to spare.
What’s your Tacho on Break or other work.
Was speaking to VOSA the other day.
Just missed the Herald, don’t you know.
Wish I had an Eaton twin splitter…
Etc…
Dr Damon:
Adonis.:
I talk to other like minded drivers, despite what the permamiserable on here say, the camaraderie and banter still goes strong in certain circles.The other types I pretty much ignore, usually because they’re boring and talk a lot of pish. Or they smell horrendous.
A.
Please don’t tell me there are others like you!
WE ARE DOOMED.
Please stop telling lies on forums.
Thanks.
A.
Not heard the tale of Dvsa fining you £60 per trailer leg wind that was not wound up all the way .
Lol
I avoid revolving drivers!
ezydriver:
Terry T:
I was at an Amazon last week and had a Stobfart driver talking to me non stop. He even subjected to me to his cops chalking his truck off and demanding the 2 bays either side were left unused story.It was 3am and I was too tired and too polite to tell him what a moron I thought he was.
Two or 3 weeks ago exactly the same thing happened to me at an Amazon, around 2am, by a moth-eaten Stobarts tramper heating his shepherds pie in the microwave - perhaps it was the same bloke. He started the conversation off by pointing at some overweight Romanian bloke, and saying he was having a baby. Then, pointing at another EE on the phone next to me, he pointed, saying it was rude that they all blathered away in their own language. I thought “oh [zb], here we go”.
In 1 hour I knew his, his wife’s, and his daughter’s full names, what cars they all drove, how much was paid for them, their registration plates, what serious illnesses his family members have, how much he paid for his house, his dog’s name, how much he earns, what his shift pattern is, where he lives, that his mum had died, and like you say, the story about calling VOSA and getting chalked off for 9 hours. It went on, and on, and on, and on, and I began gripping my chair, and in the end I had to say I was gonna go and pop my head around the back of my trailer to see if I’m tipped. And I disappeared for 5 mins. He wouldn’t be able to tell you one thing about me, because I said almost nothing. He just spoke at me, on and on. When my bay number was eventually called, I gave him a thumbs up and said “see you later mate”, he looked up, and just looked right through me, didn’t say a word.
OMG it’s the same bloke 
I did the same as you, the good old check see how my unloading is going trick 
Does this mean I can put Terry and Ezy on “Who’s Seen Who”?
Sent from my GT-S7275R using Tapatalk
toby1234abc:
They dont speak in Rdc waiting rooms or at cafes or truckstops, years ago, you would have old school " Good ole boy " , who would have you in tears of laughter .
These characters have sadly died, replaced with brain dead yes men, who drive wearing a stupid hi viz .
As said in another thread, if you eat at the French Rouitiers, you muck in, the French will speak to any foreigners.
The conversation is loud and buzzing.
Pass the wine , Comrades.
Good man must be short talk man and don t talk everything about self to anyone.
Andrejs:
toby1234abc:
They dont speak in Rdc waiting rooms or at cafes or truckstops, years ago, you would have old school " Good ole boy " , who would have you in tears of laughter .
These characters have sadly died, replaced with brain dead yes men, who drive wearing a stupid hi viz .
As said in another thread, if you eat at the French Rouitiers, you muck in, the French will speak to any foreigners.
The conversation is loud and buzzing.
Pass the wine , Comrades.Good man must be short talk man and don t talk everything about self to anyone.
Maybe if man talk sense other man use ears to hear voice.
But man open face hole and much rubbish fall out into atmosphere. This why other man no listen to ■■■■■■■■ talker. He turd sniffing fool.
eagerbeaver:
Andrejs:
toby1234abc:
They dont speak in Rdc waiting rooms or at cafes or truckstops, years ago, you would have old school " Good ole boy " , who would have you in tears of laughter .
These characters have sadly died, replaced with brain dead yes men, who drive wearing a stupid hi viz .
As said in another thread, if you eat at the French Rouitiers, you muck in, the French will speak to any foreigners.
The conversation is loud and buzzing.
Pass the wine , Comrades.Good man must be short talk man and don t talk everything about self to anyone.
Maybe if man talk sense other man use ears to hear voice.
But man open face hole and much rubbish fall out into atmosphere. This why other man no listen to ■■■■■■■■ talker. He turd sniffing fool.
A.
Wheel Nut:
I avoid revolving drivers!
I remember Coffeeholic 
That was brilliant and I use it. I also add did you ‘tell him’ or did you straighten up
dri-diddly-iver:
Wheel Nut:
I avoid revolving drivers!
I think it was mine and Neil plagiarised it. He still sticks his oar, sorry twopennorth in occasionally [emoji23][emoji14]
I think it was coffeeholic and I who were the ones who highlighted 561/2006 and the rule that says you cannot take a 45hour rest in the cab, we can’t be blamed, it was always there [emoji846]
This was the drivers waiting room earlier this evening, Dutch style. Lots of banter going on between drivers from various companies and no chance to hide behind a phone or ipad. The thing is these drivers do the same runs every night so all of them know each other.
One of the two planners at my company decided to have a run out with one of the drivers to see how things work in practice, and was the subject of some jeering and light hearted insults when he walked in and this lot found out he was a planner. Luckily for him, he left his pointy shoes back at the office and was wearing safety boots.
The driver in the Andes style Peruvian hat is from Groningen in the north of Holland, where they have a thick dialect. He’s the Dutch version of a Glaswegian so hard for the other drivers to understand him.
These are their trucks from several companies, all lined up ready for Wacky Races to start at 00:30. They will be heading to Amsterdam, Appledorn, Groningen, Rotterdam and Utrecht (me).
They will also be heading to Antwerp, Ghent and Mechelen, all in Belgium.
When I visited the Netherlands a lot I was surprised that some Dutch guys spoke English to each other.I was told that if they came from places like Groningen or Breda they couldn’t understand each other’s Dutch.Belgium’s Flemish accent used to lead to some mickey taking by the Dutch lads,particularly my Flemish/Barnsley accent.I worked out of Brugge for 11 years.
Gidders:
When I visited the Netherlands a lot I was surprised that some Dutch guys spoke English to each other.I was told that if they came from places like Groningen or Breda they couldn’t understand each other’s Dutch.Belgium’s Flemish accent used to lead to some mickey taking by the Dutch lads,particularly my Flemish/Barnsley accent.I worked out of Brugge for 11 years.
Many of the older Dutch people struggled with English but will not speak German at all, they still remember what happened to their bikes
Wheel Nut:
Gidders:
When I visited the Netherlands a lot I was surprised that some Dutch guys spoke English to each other.I was told that if they came from places like Groningen or Breda they couldn’t understand each other’s Dutch.Belgium’s Flemish accent used to lead to some mickey taking by the Dutch lads,particularly my Flemish/Barnsley accent.I worked out of Brugge for 11 years.Many of the older Dutch people struggled with English but will not speak German at all, they still remember what happened to their bikes
That’s right. If German is heard in a Dutch city, you might get the odd Dutchie shout out “Oi ! Have you seen my grandad’s bike?” It’s mostly light hearted jesting rather than mean’t as a insult.
What happens if you " Pass a Dutchie on the left hand side " ?
