every other friday unless its an even day of the month, only do on odd days
Underwear makes a big difference, as long as you remember.
First 3 days wear as normal, then turn them round for 3 days, after that inside out and back to front for 3 days, by which time they are dry and crusty on the other side,
Now just bang them on the step and continue as normal for another 3 days. This can also work with socks, wear them for a week and turn them inside out, then at weekends wear no socks, by Monday your socks are as fresh as a daisy again 
If you are going to get run over then a clean pair of pants should be worn that day
Stick my head out of window when it rains, not only is this more efficient (giving me more leasure time later) it’s also per government environmental policy ‘using less soap and water’.
Templar, have you much success with women? never really thought of showering after i went clubbing 
pretty much the same as wiping your bum before you go for a crap but not bothering after 
A full, morning hose-down wins here regardless of the water temperature/ice-depth. Increased regularity can only be sanctioned due to to muddy sport (?), paranoia, neurosis, a symptom requiring a Dr’s appointment/penicillin or a ‘stage’ condition.
So what if the bedding has a few of one’s pheremones on it each evening? It surely prooves that one’s lovely loves one? Meanwhile, back home it’ll wisely serve to ‘mark the territory’ in case some herbert tries to slip his kippers under one’s grill whilst one’s lovely is pining - despite the myriad toys that one thoughtfully provides for her ‘from Santa’ each Yuletide.
TOP-tip: Be very suspicious of clean sheets or another herbert’s aftershave on one’s pillow when one returns home …oh yes.
(For those so persuaded, suit yourself to amend the gender)
dennis…you made me laugh…Wheelnut…(malc)…i can tell your an old middle easter…and i thought i was the only one who did that…heres a story…
I used to do a regular run to france, tip and load, back to the uk, nice job,only driving, however there was a problem this particular trip and i couldnt get turned around, security (gitane pierre) wouldnt let me park the unit in the yard, so had to park outside. In the evening, as per usual, found the local bar, filled up the belly, stoked up the liquid, then it was time for bed. As i left the bar, ■■■■■■■ i realised it was so dark, i couldnt adjust my eyes for a while, and me thinks, bloody ell, i need to carry a torch next time, and there was gonna be 3 of these. I couldnt help noticing that not far from my truck, was a fountain, with a trough, and i thought i could use that to my advantage. Yes, thats right, when it got dark, i grabbed my wash bag, and a towel, and ambered off to the shower…so there i was just my shorts on, head all soaped up, when i thought, i might as well jump in…so i did, i was a bit surprised when i spotted a cars headlights approaching, and they slowed right down to have a look, but i carried on, as ya do…and ambered back to the truck to get changed for my night out. I did this again on the sunday night, and monday morning used hot water in the factory, but just goes to show,where theres a will, there certainly is a way, and only us brits can find it,
the same as everyone i think,twice a day
twice a year …whether I need it or not!
Jen:
the same as everyone i think,twice a day
That’s just a girl show(er)ing off…
I suppose if the soap is delicately sensuous, the pressure is just about right, and the rose is pretty then go for the thrill.
…I’ll fetch me greasy jacket
Mikejk , you didnt read it right , but it doesnt matter ,shower before or after i go clubbing i ALWAYS go back to the Hotel scania alone , it must be my aftershave CK Diesel , or the WD40 in my hair , women are so picky these days , But your way sounds better when it comes to wiping before youve tipped you save a bundle on toilet paper ! truckyboy you wouldnt look out place on the beaches of Dunkirk , you have the same spirit , you are also a god ! you might start thinking about changing your name from truckyboy to truckyman ,
I also think they should do pampers in bigger sizes for when your bursting for a P or a No2 , and your stuck in a jam , the only thing is youd have to make sure you have a high roof , as you could be sitting up to 6 inchs higher by the end of the day , i feel sick.
THE TEMPLAR:
wait a minute ! im on to something here ,WHY dont they invent underpants and vest , socks , and them other things for you lady drivers n Eddie Scumbart drivers and make them out of wet wipes ! ok when you first put them on they might be damp or moist ( but then arnt most PROPER drivers normal undercrackers ) and you might have to litually peel them off at night But hey ! one less thing to worry about when its time to park up , AND look at the flavours you could have PINE , NEW CAR SMELL , LEMON, that blue one that makes your eyes sting , WHO could pass at New car smell , undercrackers ,talk about giving you confedance in the morning ,the world would be your oyster. I could even chuck away that old tin bath i keep in my cab for back up ,…
Templar, your fired.
Scarab:
truckyboy:
When we were kids, we never had a running supply of hot water, so it was bathtime on saturday, thats right, once a week…Once a week! LUXURY!
Our dad use t’ pour boiling acid over us ‘eads twice a month until we were clean t’ bone, then we’d have to lick acid off floor wi’tounge! AND pay him ha’penny for the privilege!
i remember when this were all fields and everything were black and white. we didnt have any sun in them days.
Edward Teller:
Once a month whether i need one or not.
Save Energy and cut it to Birthday and Christmas
■■■■ fired again !
My girlfriend is so rich and posh,
she prefers to have a ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ :?
snobby cow 
mud bath thats the answer ! 
Scarab:
truckyboy:
When we were kids, we never had a running supply of hot water, so it was bathtime on saturday, thats right, once a week…Once a week! LUXURY!
Our dad use t’ pour boiling acid over us ‘eads twice a month until we were clean t’ bone, then we’d have to lick acid off floor wi’tounge! AND pay him ha’penny for the privilege!
boiling acid !!! yer dont know how lucky you were, we didnt have fire to heat the acid ,we didnt even have t acid,our dad used to make us lick ourselves clean every other sunday then tek t’dirt into garden to grow sprouts in fer christmas dinner