thought i`d share with you my experiances since i started driving in 05 ! either i have been just lucky or i,m strange but the things that i have seen the roads of the uk and europe ! if i were to tell anyone els than other wagon drivers i would be locked up !
number one on my list is my wife !!! i had just got my second truck after rolling my first on the a43 ardley roundabout ! and was excited so i bullied my wife in to coming away for a few days. the night before we parked in manchester and went out for a meal and my wife had a few drinks !!! so when i got up to head to doncaster at 4am she refused to get of the top bunk even though i had warned her if i hit the breaks she would go flying !!
6am m62 a1 roundabout a boy racer must have been late for work cut me up real bad i had to jump on breaks from about 15 mph to a standstill !! my wife comes flying through the curtain and genuinely does a garfield â â â â â â â against the passenger side front windscreen she is so shocked and confused never mind stuck that she could not move!! it took untill i had got my seat belt of and climbed over before she could move !! by this time a police car had pulled along side to ask what was wrong ! all they so was my stunning size 8 double d brunnette wife crying in the passenger seat â â â â â â â with me leaning over !! well you can guess what happend next !! lots of questions!! all i can say is god dam jeremy clarkson!!!
i have so many more but can anyone one able to top this !!!
i cant top that, mine was about the time i was going around a roundabout when this â â â â â â â woman flashed herself out a lorry side window while some man seemed to be trying to hump her, all in front of a police car.
Once got propositioned by a âlady of the nightâ at around midnight on Marine Parade/Madeira Drive(?)in Brighton (where lorries used to park), told her to get lost. but not quite as politely as that. When a second lot of door knocking started at about 5am the following morning I made exactly the same rude response only to find it was the police who were moving all the lorries on. I donât know which of them was the most surprised - after all neither of them expected a woman!
I worked for A L Peters and Sons of Hatfield as low loader driver. That firm ran on humour. Maintenance was replacing things when they fell off, but only if they were absolutely necessary.
One tipper driver complained that the wipers on his Ford D1000 didnât work. He was told the sun was shining. Come back when it rained.
He kept on complaining. Next morning he came in to find a bit of string across his steering wheel and through the quarterlights. It was tied to the blades. His instructions were, âIf it rains, to move wipers, grab string and oscillate sideways.â
Canât beat what the previous posters have said, but, racking my brains, I remember climbing the hill west bound from Peterborough services on the A605, bit of a struggle in those Tesco Mercâs, when a Transit van slowly overtook me with the passenger mooning out of the open window. That was a bit of a shock! bimbling along minding my own buisiness and then a big hairy ugly arse waving at you
Back in 1973 I was flogging up a steep incline in Italy with a Volvo F86 lugging an overfreighted 40ft tilt, when a cyclist overtook me standing up on the pedals. It was no modern sports bike either. The cheeky bugger even gave me a one handed wave as he passed!
Heading to Stoke one night about 10yrs ago on the D. ring road, my mate in front tells me on CB that he has just seen a young lady in lay by bending over car boot, in mini skirt lifting a spare wheel out, he was going too fast to stop, so being a gentleman I pulled in to help her, it was dark and I walked over to her saying something like âcan I help you loveâ when she looked up âsheâ had a better beard than me and in a deep voice said âooh thanks driveâ anyway needless to say I made excuses and left (rapidly) When I got to Stoke depot, my mate with a couple of others started cheering and taking the â â â â , turned out âsheâ was well known in the area, and the lay by was her regular stop, and on some occasions âsheâ was accompanied by a mate . so I could have ended up as my worst nightmare in a â â â â â â â â â between 2 butch trannies ⌠( By the way, if anybody on heres interested, PM me and I,ll send you location of lay by )
Mine has to be a road rage incident I witnessed on the eastbound exit slip of J28 on the M4 in the summer of 1994. It was a Friday afternoon and the right hand lane of the slip had been coned off and as usual everyone was trying to get as far as they could and cut in when a mini bus full of blokes on there way home from work try to push in front of a woman in a small car.
Fair play to her she is having none of it and does not give an inch. One of the men sees this and jumps out of the back and grabs a cone, hides by the side of the van and with perfect timing places it in front of her car just as the traffic moves off. At this point she completely flips picks up the cone runs down the slip to the van and starts ramming the pointy end in through the drivers open window. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
A few years ago a french Norbert lorry overtook me on the M2 in Kent. The driver had one hand on the steering wheel and playing a trumpet with the other It was a real trumpet before you ask!
Mine was as a freshly divorced man i was making up for lost time as they say.I was put on a contract out of a bakery company and got very friendly with one of the cleaners who used to come and see me at night but one time she said she would come out for a day trip.
So getting that certain urge as you do !! coming down the M1 i dived into Trowell services curtains drawn and away i go lol Deed done and curtains drawn back look up and there are 3 motorway cops sat outside the old police station giving me around of applause
Couldnt even a 15 break in lol
Dave55:
A few years ago a french Norbert lorry overtook me on the M2 in Kent. The driver had one hand on the steering wheel and playing a trumpet with the other It was a real trumpet before you ask!
âA French Norbert lorryâ - must have been more than âa few years agoâ
Funniest thing(well i laughed).
Vauxhall Chevette on the h/s, i was about 100 yards behind the lorry that past it as the trilby wearing driver got out of the car . . trilby goes skywards. . i ran over it.
The hat not the driver btw
i had an amusing incident on monday night on the A9. bombing along a dual carriageway north of perth and i see the flashing blues up ahead with a line of traffic clearly stationary. so i pulled in at the back in the inside lane as does the car behind me. the copper is walking down talking to all the drivers and gets to the car behind me before heading back to the accident scene. a few more vehicles join the line of stationary traffic and one 4X4 driver decides not to wait and runs up the outside lane until he reaches the copper who turned round, stopped him and tore him a new ringpiece
robroy:
Heading to Stoke one night about 10yrs ago on the D. ring road, my mate in front tells me on CB that he has just seen a young lady in lay by bending over car boot, in mini skirt lifting a spare wheel out, he was going too fast to stop, so being a gentleman I pulled in to help her, it was dark and I walked over to her saying something like âcan I help you loveâ when she looked up âsheâ had a better beard than me and in a deep voice said âooh thanks driveâ anyway needless to say I made excuses and left (rapidly) When I got to Stoke depot, my mate with a couple of others started cheering and taking the â â â â , turned out âsheâ was well known in the area, and the lay by was her regular stop, and on some occasions âsheâ was accompanied by a mate . so I could have ended up as my worst nightmare in a â â â â â â â â â between 2 butch trannies ⌠( By the way, if anybody on heres interested, PM me and I,ll send you location of lay by )
you seen him as well !seen him(her)a few times between stoke and the m1 ,he must have been on mileage bonus because he certainly did a few.
Another A L Peters story. We did a lot of work for the local council.Ă One day they wanted to hire two tippers for a muck away job. Mike Peters only had one available, driven by âJockâ (who wasnât Scottish at all. He used a jock-strap). Mike gave him one of his wifeâs long blonde wigs and told him to wear it on every other trip. If anyone asked, he was to say he was his own twin brother.
It worked. Not one council navvy noticed that the number plate was the same on âbothâ Ford tippers!
I had a misfortune to be parked up at M5 souhtbound Service in Birmingham. I was just new to the job and got the lorry which was used to be driven by another guy. Someone was knocking the doors over and over again during the night. Firstly I tried to ignore, but finally I pulled the curtains and asked âwhatâ.
There was a transvestite, a bit shocked seeing me and it told âEeee, sorry, I thought you are this another driverâ and run away
1993, i was young (er) free and single and was âseeingâ a married woman from Sheffield. Anyway, to cut a long story short I was working one sunday picking a load of waste acid up from teeside running it back to chesterfieldâŚand weâd arranged to meet up at tankersley just down from the fire station at half 2 or thereaboutsâŚas you do lol⌠or did before mobiles took overâŚâhow will i know which is your lorryââŚNow she was really nice and all that but not the sharpest knife so i thought that saying " itâs a month old red and white merc 1950 hi top with a tri axle clayton stainless gp barrel" might be a bit too much so i said âitâs a big white and red tanker lorryâ adding that seeing it was sunday afternoon thereâd only be me there anywayâŚshe was good with that adding that sheâd get âdressed upâ for the occasion âŚSo i pull off the M1 at just gone twenty five to 3 and nail it round to the rendezvous point and turned the corner to see her stood on the top step of this norbert dentressangle powder tanker, skirt up her â â â â â â â â hanging out banging on the door windowâŚby the time i pulled level this poor driver, whoâd obviously been fast asleep in bed had pulled the curtains back and was winding down the window with a look on his face which was beyond shockâŚa quick blast on the air horns snapped her out of being frozen on the spot at the shock of seeing this dodgy old frog to which i saidâŚâcouldnât you wait 5 effinâ minutes you filthy bird lolââŚIronically we didnât christen the merc after all because me laughing constantly at her being both mega embarrased and traumatised sort of killed it deadâŚAs soon as i turned the corner and saw that wagon i thought âwhat are the odds ehââŚ
i had just got my second truck after rolling my first on the a43 ardley roundabout ! 
and was excited so i bullied my wife in to coming away for a few days. the night before we parked in manchester and went out for a meal and my wife had a few drinks !!! so when i got up to head to doncaster at 4am she refused to get of the top bunk even though i had warned her if i hit the breaks she would go flying !!
I pulled in to help her, it was dark and I walked over to her saying something like âcan I help you loveâ when she looked up âsheâ had a better beard than me and in a deep voice said âooh thanks driveâ 
anyway needless to say I made excuses and left (rapidly) When I got to Stoke depot, my mate with a couple of others started cheering and taking the â â â â , turned out âsheâ was well known in the area, and the lay by was her regular stop, and on some occasions âsheâ was accompanied by a mate 
By the way, if anybody on heres interested, PM me and I,ll send you location of lay by 
âŚSo i pull off the M1 at just gone twenty five to 3 and nail it round to the rendezvous point and turned the corner to see her stood on the top step of this norbert dentressangle powder tanker, skirt up her â â â â â â â â hanging out banging on the door windowâŚby the time i pulled level this poor driver, whoâd obviously been fast asleep in bed had pulled the curtains back and was winding down the window with a look on his face which was beyond shockâŚa quick blast on the air horns snapped her out of being frozen on the spot at the shock of seeing this dodgy old frog to which i saidâŚâcouldnât you wait 5 effinâ minutes you filthy bird lolââŚIronically we didnât christen the merc after all because me laughing constantly at her being both mega embarrased and traumatised sort of killed it deadâŚAs soon as i turned the corner and saw that wagon i thought âwhat are the odds ehââŚ