Just want to ask of what others would do in this situation. Unfortunately a very close family friend, (My god dad/uncle) passed away on my last day of shift last week and I didn’t find out until I got home on that day. I had my 4 days off as normal and went in on the first day but I spoke to one of my managers about the situation and asked if it would be okay to have a couple days off to try get my head straight. I had to go back in yesterday as the company I work for don’t pay folk to have time off for bereavement and quite surprisingly wasn’t a bad day.
Today I thought would go the same way, being pay day and all. When handing out the wage slips, the manager I told on Monday told me ‘Oh we don’t have a wage slip for you, we only give them people to do work if anything it’s you who owe us money’ at first me and everyone laughed about it but I thought of it nothing more as a bit of banter. Fast forward to lunch same manager comes sits with us and were all discussing wages etc,
the manager pipes up ‘Oh tell them what I told you this morning’ of which I said nothing. And he boasted about how he told me they didn’t have a wage slip for me they only give them to people who work and its me who owes the company money. At this point I told him in a calm manner ‘You know why I had them days off’ I went back to work after this and not even 10 minutes I went to the office to talk to my ‘performance manager’ which she told me to sit in the canteen for 5 minutes to calm down and return at half 4 after her meeting. I went back to the office and we went into the meeting room to discuss what the problem was.
My first words being ‘To be honest, after a few comments … made I’m very close to handing my notice in. I’m not being funny but I’m not here to put up with ■■■■ like that’
Surprise surprise it started going into the sorry things were said but you should know what he’s like etc, take him with a pinch of salt. And then she said she wernt sticking up for him
Then she went on to say I returned to work too soon (Well it’s alright if you can afford to have time off ) and then asked what shift I was on (9 while 9) then asked if I was sure I could cope with it. I finished at 7 so that goes the answer for that one But she said I handled things professionally instead of kicking off and getting myself into trouble. To cut it short I now have a meeting with her before my shift on Tuesday next week and I’m going up to HR with her on the same day to discuss sorting out a forklift course for me to go on (Expense being on my part of course ) And the manager in question gave an apology which seemed like he didn’t really want to give.
So I’m not sure if I should take this up with HR or to just let it go? And should I have handled things differently here?
First of all, I am genuinely sorry for your loss. Sometimes life is crap…
BUT…
…you have to learn to deal with it! You already had four days off - although you won’t be able to completely deal with the situation in that short a time, at least you had that time to try and understand and get your head around it. Why did you take another two days? Man up…
As for the HR thing - let it go. You’ll be seen as a trouble maker by them and the offending manager will make your life a misery, any time he can. What do you hope to achieve? All you’re going to do is get up the noses of HR and ■■■■ off the manager.
Sorry Jonny. I think you have to man up a bit, the manager is probably a prat, but so are many others in every other job you will ever come across. Too many visits to HR will get you noticed, and not in a good way!
Think you brought it on yourself, having time off work isnt going to make you all of a sudden feel ok, you already had 4 days off, how much more do you need. It doesnt mean to say that bloke should of spoken to you like that but in all honestly he wasnt that rude, if you cant handle the way that guy spoke to you i suggest you work for a big company like stobarts when you get your license because you’ll probably burst into tears the way you get spoken to sometimes at a proper haulage company like the ones that men work for.
sorry for your loss pal but like said before dont be running to hr everytime he says something personally i would have pulled the wise ■■■ to one side and asked him what his deal was
As for going to HR about the forklift course, why not? It’s another thing for the CV and gets you away from ‘work’ for a bit. May help take your mind off things. Personally if it were me he would of got a mouthful for being disrespectful when you are in a difficult situation. Totally uncalled for on his behalf. It’s not like you would of got sacked for it, maybe a written warning at most. I don’t mean you should of gone ranting and raving, just summat to let him know he crossed the line. A witty/sarcastic comment to remind him of the reasons etc.
At least it’s been dealt with now, water under the bridge and all that, but if you can get an all expense paid forklift course, why not?
Harassment at work is actually illegal: and that manager was harassing you in front of an audience in the canteen during your break.
You would be within your rights to make a formal complaint and initiate your company’s disputes procedure.
Whether you want to do this is up to you: but the next time the guy tries to be ‘funny’ you could ask him if he’d like a visit to HR with you where he can see if they share his sense of ‘humour’.
I’d bet that they’d have to give him a written warning at least.
That’s the thing, I don’t go to HR that often other than the meetings scheduled with the apprenticeship people. The only meeting I’ve had off the book was to explain the situation that I would need some time off but I wouldn’t take the ■■■■. I’ve never complained to HR about any of the staff who’ve ■■■■■■ me off, or said things that I didn’t like. Many can say the 4 days I already had were plenty but them 4 days were filled with doing things that were planned and having little time to myself. The two days I had off was time to myself to think, I was ready to get back to work yesterday. Any other time the comments wouldn’t have bothered me, but when I told him on Monday about it and he knew prior I didn’t think he’d use that to put me down in front of everyone else. I was in a ■■■■ mood to begin with not much need to bring me down even worse to a point where I just want to walk out. It probably didn’t help with there being a little bit in the paper about my uncle, just put everything back into ones head. But I stuck with it best I could, I was offered to leave at 7 because my performance manager felt 9 9 would be a bit much on the circumstances
I’ll probably calm down before Tuesday and I’ll see things in a clearer light. But I do plan on getting my forklift training sorted anyway, easier to find employment elsewhere after the apprenticeship or on a different contract within the warehouse and it’s always handy to have. I’m putting up with the crap because I haven’t long left to go, and I’m proving a point I can finish what I start considering a few on here said I wouldn’t last as long as I actually have (9 months on the 31st). I’m looking at the bigger picture constantly thinking ‘If i can put up with this I can put up with anything’ yes theres always something worse but it’s a bloody good start It could have been completely different though, I could have kicked off and walked out and got myself sacked but I went to the person who im working under at the moment and I expressed my feelings and I got an apology and an early finish along with a meeting on tuesday to discuss the potential of getting some actual training. Something I’ve not seen very much of. Just making sure the decision I’m going to make is the right one.
jonnytruckfest:
That’s the thing, I don’t go to HR that often other than the meetings scheduled with the apprenticeship people. The only meeting I’ve had off the book was to explain the situation that I would need some time off but I wouldn’t take the ■■■■. I’ve never complained to HR about any of the staff who’ve ■■■■■■ me off, or said things that I didn’t like. Many can say the 4 days I already had were plenty but them 4 days were filled with doing things that were planned and having little time to myself. The two days I had off was time to myself to think, I was ready to get back to work yesterday. Any other time the comments wouldn’t have bothered me, but when I told him on Monday about it and he knew prior I didn’t think he’d use that to put me down in front of everyone else. I was in a [zb] mood to begin with not much need to bring me down even worse to a point where I just want to walk out. It probably didn’t help with there being a little bit in the paper about my uncle, just put everything back into ones head. But I stuck with it best I could, I was offered to leave at 7 because my performance manager felt 9 9 would be a bit much on the circumstances
I’ll probably calm down before Tuesday and I’ll see things in a clearer light. But I do plan on getting my forklift training sorted anyway, easier to find employment elsewhere after the apprenticeship or on a different contract within the warehouse and it’s always handy to have. I’m putting up with the crap because I haven’t long left to go, and I’m proving a point I can finish what I start considering a few on here said I wouldn’t last as long as I actually have (9 months on the 31st). I’m looking at the bigger picture constantly thinking ‘If i can put up with this I can put up with anything’ yes theres always something worse but it’s a bloody good start It could have been completely different though, I could have kicked off and walked out and got myself sacked but I went to the person who im working under at the moment and I expressed my feelings and I got an apology and an early finish along with a meeting on tuesday to discuss the potential of getting some actual training. Something I’ve not seen very much of. Just making sure the decision I’m going to make is the right one.
The apology and early finish I’m sure of, the meeting on tuesday to discuss potential training not so sure. I’m having two meetings that day apparently, one to discuss what I’m going to be doing in the warehouse and how I seem to be handling things as the funeral is on Saturday as I’ve been told I’ll probably feel better once that’s done and the other one to discuss forklift training with HR.
I think you handled it fine, she’s obviously interested in you why else would she keep arranging meetings and finding excuses to be one on one with you all the time. I think maybe ask her if she fancies a drink after work one evening and see how it goes.
In all seriousness mate you haven’t done anything wrong at all, let him have his power trips and keep your head down dude.
But she said I handled things professionally instead of kicking off and getting myself into trouble. To cut it short I now have a meeting with her before my shift on Tuesday next week and I’m going up to HR with her on the same day to discuss sorting out a forklift course for me to go on (Expense being on my part of course 
