Boss asked you to do that made you laugh 
and what was your reply to the very funny request
Now just in case we have a mod looking try and keep it clean we wouldn’t want to get it locked 
and as a disclaimer a would advise you not to name him/her you never no who’s looking
One Friday afternoon I asked the TM what I was doing the following week. He told me I had a three day run to Cornwall.
Great I thinks -drive down Monday (from Yorkshire), do deliveries Tuesday, drive back Wednesday - job done!
Gets into work early Monday morning for a flying start only to find that my wagon & drag hadn’t even been loaded. The artic boys on locals were loaded and away.
I had to go to another factory a few miles away to get loaded. Eventually get loaded just after lunch so Monday was a complete waste of time. Get paperwork to find a total of 27 drops, all mixed between the wagon and trailer so that meant there would be some swapping of the demount bodies!
Go back to TM to ask what their game is and he tells me to just do what I can. I laughed and replied that I might be lucky to get about 5 drops off by Wednesday.
Then he turned nasty and told me to [zb] get on with it and stop out all week if I had to. I told him to do it himself and threw the keys and delivery notes at him and stormed out. After speaking with the other drivers later, the wagon and the load stayed in the yard for a full week before it got sent out!
Surprisingly, I got all the pay I was owed along with a P45! Best move I ever made!
( language edit ) jd
Official line was… “We need to get the Ratios right” … Translated… 7.5ton Ivecos Will have to load to around 10ton… “Saves time and Money and can do 2 days work in one”
“Go early before VOSA are up” was another one of his favourites…
I dont work there no more 
My boss once asked me to sweep the warehouse floor. Once I finished crying with laughter, I politely told him to foxtrott oscar!
He’s never asked since.
First day on a new agency contract based in a major car manufacturers.
My red airline holed in the plant so after them asking why i had put a hole in it 
they gave me spanners and an airline. I told them if they wanted a fitter they would have to pay more (also i dont know how to fit them).
Then they tried to give me a truck with no tax. I reported this to them to be told dont worry we will tax it tomorrow it will be ok. I refused this and they started huffing and puffing.
Next thing they got a truck that was covered in cobwebs out for me. The shunter warned me it was the old shunt truck and wasnt insured, taxed or on O licence. I told them no again. And how they huffed and puffed again as my pick up was hours late by now and i was the only driver.
30 mins later a brand new euro spec truck just rolled in back from Spain. The TM made a big song and dance about how i couldnt find fault with this.
I jumped in started up, he walked over with my paperwork. I smiled as i drove off shouting to him im going back to the other yard where my car is and im off home i wont be seeing you again.
At other yard a manager came shouting at me for the company mobile i was issued. I never seen a manager duck so fast as to when i threw it at his head 
Did an agency job many moons ago for Tesco’s when they were at Knight Road in Strrood, Kent.
Run a empty trailer to Westbury for us and pick up a return…
No probs nice easy trunk down, got to Westbury dropped the trailer and reported to the office.
No loads for you drive, take an empty trailer to Strood, 
Fine say I, will take the one I bought down back. NOOOOO dont do that, find another one, dont want to think we have wasted a trip…
I was not fussed, good pay (Back then) for a doddle of a job… Every little helps.