A skilfully honed ice scraper and swarfega
robroy:
I carry both, wet shave for when I get a shower, and a Remington elec re.chargeable for the odd night I can’t get a shower, so it’s a wash and shave in The Actros Hotel.Full head shave but got a goatee, …like a cross between Steve Austen and a 90s throwback East 17.
Yep, remember the sunglasses thread…?
eagerbeaver:
robroy:
eagerbeaver:
robroy:
I carry both, wet shave for when I get a shower, and a Remington elec re.chargeable for the odd night I can’t get a shower and wash and shave in The Actros Hotel.
Full head shave but got a goatee, like a cross between Steve Austen and a 90s throwback East 17.So basically, your head looks like it’s on upside down.
Yeh but my stunning good looks make up for that.
Yep. I agree mate
You tried to hide your face with that mask on THAT night, but we all know it’s you.
God it was hot in that club, I’ve never wore a pair of leather chaps since. 
Yeah, it was a cracking night mate.
Do me a favour though Rob, don’t twang that gimp mask back and to like an elastic band on my face again though.
Really [zb]ing hurt 
eagerbeaver:
Yeah, it was a cracking night mate.Do me a favour though Rob, don’t twang that gimp mask back and to like an elastic band on my face again though.
Really [zb]ing hurt
Well don’t make fun of my patent leather stilletto cowboy boots then …■■■■■.
robroy:
eagerbeaver:
Yeah, it was a cracking night mate.Do me a favour though Rob, don’t twang that gimp mask back and to like an elastic band on my face again though.
Really [zb]ing hurt
Well don’t make fun of my patent leather stilletto cowboy boots then …■■■■■.
I prefer you when you are choking on an orange darling.
I’m not sure shaving a beaver with and electric razor would be a good idea 
Both
Wet shave for the ■■■■■■■■ and dry for the chin.
Story time"“”
Many years ago went to do a drop at Sainsburies at Buntingford.
Got there busting for a ■■■■.
Climbes out the cab and minces down to the bog.
Place was an absolute ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■
No problem has a crap and the usual 5 hour wait.
Following week about Tuesday phone goes off.
The wife telling me that she got a dose of crabs ,[zb]
Noticed that I had had a little “itch” mysel
Now Im in deep ■■■■ because the ■■■■■ wont believe I caught them off a toilet seat !!
True as Im riding this bicycle straight up.Said she had sat in the bath and seen these “floaters”
Oh ■■■■!!
Now im itching like a balloon.
So goes for the shave and the aftershave!!
Jesus that burns but the little buggers bury under your skin and you cant get rid that way.
Rings an old friend of mine and asks for a cure.(Ken Marston you ■■■■■■■ !!!)
Petrol he says!!!
I says WTF!
He says only cure
Next day a shave and 5 litres of 4 star…
JESUS that burned but you could see the little bugger come out your skin.
Thought I was cured WRONG
About 3 weeks later Im stood in the pub with the “light of my life” and something “ran” across my eye.The little buggers migrate to your eye lashes via your belly hair to get away from the petrol.
Took me another two week to catch the little ■■■■■■■■
Have a nice day Gentlemen.
Bking:
Both
Wet shave for the ■■■■■■■■ and dry for the chin.
Story time"“”
Many years ago went to do a drop at Sainsburies at Buntingford.
Got there busting for a [zb].
Climbes out the cab and minces down to the bog.
Place was an absolute [zb] [zb].
No problem has a crap and the usual 5 hour wait.
Following week about Tuesday phone goes off.
The wife telling me that she got a dose of crabs ,[zb]
Noticed that I had had a little “itch” mysel
Now Im in deep [zb] because the ■■■■■ wont believe I caught them off a toilet seat !!
True as Im riding this bicycle straight up.Said she had sat in the bath and seen these “floaters”
Oh [zb]!!
Now im itching like a balloon.
So goes for the shave and the aftershave!!
Jesus that burns but the little buggers bury under your skin and you cant get rid that way.
Rings an old friend of mine and asks for a cure.(Ken Marston you [zb] !!!)
Petrol he says!!!
I says WTF!
He says only cure
Next day a shave and 5 litres of 4 star…
JESUS that burned but you could see the little bugger come out your skin.
Thought I was cured WRONG
About 3 weeks later Im stood in the pub with the “light of my life” and something “ran” across my eye.The little buggers migrate to your eye lashes via your belly hair to get away from the petrol.
Took me another two week to catch the little [zb],
Have a nice day Gentlemen.
.
Might help
That makes me want to go and have a ‘major’ hair cut!!! 
Firstly if you wet shave your ■■■■■■■■ I hope I’m before you in the queue for the sink. 
Secondly try putting a match to them after adding the (diluted) petrol,…just hang on bear with me and hear me out.
It’s just like when you go to a Turkish barber and he burns the hair out of your ears, like a flambe type effect. That will sort them…you’re welcome. 
Come back and tell me how you got on btw.
Double edged safety razor. Decent badger hair brush and a good shaving soap.
Avoid aerosol foam, cheap razors and electric things.
robroy:
Firstly if you wet shave your ■■■■■■■■ I hope I’m before you in the queue for the sink.Secondly try putting a match to them after adding the (diluted) petrol,…just hang on bear with me and hear me out.
It’s just like when you go to a Turkish barber and he burns the hair out of your ears, like a flambe type effect. That will sort them…you’re welcome.Come back and tell me how you got on btw.
If that goes wrong the headlines could read:- Human torch streaker seen screaming across lorry park
I like no body hair whatsoever, waxed once a month, back sack &crack…no BS. Costs me 40 eur a time…
I second the viewpoint of beard, less hassle than that wet shave carry on
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Beard trimmer.
AndrewG:
I like no body hair whatsoever, waxed once a month, back sack &crack…no BS. Costs me 40 eur a time…
With my vast rug, I’m gonna need a lottery win to get that lot done
This. Best beard trimmer and razor I’ve ever used
Philips OneBlade Hybrid Trimmer (UK 2-Pin Bathroom Plug) - QP2530/30 amazon.co.uk/dp/B01FFSI84Q/ … gAb88NSX26
robroy:
Firstly if you wet shave your ■■■■■■■■ I hope I’m before you in the queue for the sink.Secondly try putting a match to them after adding the (diluted) petrol,…just hang on bear with me and hear me out.
It’s just like when you go to a Turkish barber and he burns the hair out of your ears, like a flambe type effect. That will sort them…you’re welcome.Come back and tell me how you got on btw.
Bugger me I would have gone up like a ten bob rocket!!!
Wet shave, every time.
I feel dirty and scruffy if I don’t shave properly every morning.
Can’t you just have a wet shave in a bowl? Even if you have to do it stood at your unit steps?