or the dutchman who drove to the moon thinking he was the first to do it
when he arrived there was a english man stopped by the police with no permit 
r slicker:
or the dutchman who drove to the moon thinking he was the first to do it
When he got there he spotted two Englishmen waiting for a backload.
There were two blokes arguing in a cafe.
The first one said that he was a biggest liar in the world, the second man disagreed by saying that he was the biggest liar.
“I clocked 250000 miles on my longest trip and was the first man to reach the Moon in a truck.”
The other bloke sipped his tea and said, “I know, I saw you.”
This is a true story,back in 1995 i was working for a company that did two man trips to spain.We would run empty to onda just north of vallencia collect a full 26 pallets of oranges and come straight back to covent garden.One particular week myself and a driver called Roger left blackwall tunnel where the yard was on sunday dinner time shipped dover calais with an mt fridge with a 420 F12.We were in onda 2pm monday afternoon loaded and left onda 4pm that day and was back at blackwall 7 pm tuesday night.We then left in seperate trucks with europa trailers to dusseldorf arrived wednesday midday changed trailers came straight back to erith thursday morning Both got back in the F12 with the mt fridge left blackwall 5pm thursday night down to onda loaded friday night got back to blackwall saturday night 8pm.We were both paid 1thousand pounds cash in hand.We did not stop to change over just kept going,it only happened that one week and we were just lucky that everything went our way regarding traffic police etc
I’m that fast that when I switch the light off, I’m in bed before it get’s dark. boom, boom!!
when i first did the blanc it was only a molehill
I heard that it was the Alpine Turk (Austrian) who landed at the Sea Of Tranquility and was worried that he wouldn’t get tipped before the tide came in. 
I used to work on one firm with a chap who was known as “no-neck” for obvious reasons!!!..newmercman knows him, and believe me he could fill this thread on his own, no problem.
I`ve had heard some ridiculous, tall stories over the years but this guy would beat anyone else hands down!! The strange thing was he actually believed his own tales himself!!
I never actually ran with him (thankfull!! 
), but im sure newmercman could pass on a few tales!!
Well I once saw this Irishman loading pallets of tinned goods, 20 ton.
Couldn’t understand why his tyres were looking so flat - then I noticed the steel plate on the bed. 
No, really… 
We had one who swore blind he took a wrong turning in Llanberis in the mist and finished up on top of Snowdon.Mind you,he said having double drive on his AEC MK3 helped.
He really believed what he was saying.I said he must have taken his tyres off and gone up on the Snowdon Mountain Railway tracks.
Bless him.
I worked with a bloke who was always lucky with the laydeez. Well he always told us he was.
We would get regular stories about his exploits, it was always when he was running on his own,
We would be told about the blonde lab technician who would knock on his cab door in the night. or the weighbridge clerk who wanted a bit of rough,.we all went to the same customers and parked up at the same places, but these girls were never there and he was the only one who had a vivid imagination or was indeed very lucky.
To be honest I think he read too many magazines with sticky pages 
A story that did the rounds in my area in the mid 80’s.
I won’t name any names but the guy in question was quite well known as
a real character/chancer ,amongst other things he operated 4 or 5 trucks with fridges.
Now the story goes that he picked up a one off contract to shift a large amount of stuff from our area to the south, now not wanting to upset his exsisting customers by using all his trucks on the one off contract he decided to put 3 trucks on the contract and squeeze a bit more weight on them to get the job done.That posed a bit of a problem , the weigh bridge at Crawford .
As his "o"licence was already on a sticky wicket he needed to make sure none of his trucks got a pull. This is where it gets interesting , the weekend before he started the contract he took his fitters van down to Crawford and under the cover of darkness he welded up the weigh bridge.
Pure quality (if it’s true)
I remember seeing a British film from the 50s or 60s in which the obligatory Yank star, Victure Mature I think, ended up driving a Leyland Octopus over the Pennines. That is, over the Pennines, not, over the Pennine passes.
Earlier in the film the credentials of authenticity were further emphasised by the sight of him and a mate sharing the cab sitting side by side with no trace of an engine.
Anyone remember it? Haven’t a clue what it was called.
Anyone out there that’s done M/E will have heard of,or may even know,“The Poisoned Dwarf”,or Robbin Pettit.
When i was working for Simon International,the Dwarf had been doing some internal work in Saudi.
Now we all know there was no such things as weight limits there,you just piled it on.The Dwarf was so pleased to tell all who wished to hear that he used to have all the tyres filled with Helium gas so the truck ws not as heavy on the road!
He also said that taking the air filter out would give you another 20 BHP!.
I don’t know about the extra 20 BHP,but when I was given the motor,a Volvo F12,I was pulled off the autobahn in Germany for kicking out so much smoke.Got to a Volvo agent and an engine stripdown revealed the pistons and bores polished to a mirror finish.The first question the workshop foreman asked was,“Who’s been running without an air filter then?”
Result?Total engine rebuild.
The story i put up previous did happen,the company was called clifton sadler and had a yard on the south side of blackwall tunnel.They would change the name of the company every few months,it was icewain,clifton sadler,unison,precom,etc.A few very well known drivers work there some are well known to some of the ex london drivers on here.The first spain i did for them i was teamed up with nic the greeks farther in law bobby king who years ago had worked for hudsons and joey martin on fruit then freightbus etc.Although id known bobby for years i had never run with him before.I went to the yard that night and bob was loading his gear into his f12 globetrotter.I said to him how ever you want to run this trip is fine by me,he replied i dont stop to eat and i dont stop to sleep so off we went.We had a europa trailer which was loaded for their depot in madrid.We drove none stop to madrid and while we were tipping i went in the shower,just as i was finishing off in the shower bobby was shouting outside "hurry up we have to tip some cases at fords in vallencia.I ran out of the shower with my clothes jumped in the lorry an off we went flat out to fords.Bob was a good driver,he could do spain out an back on his own,unlike some he did,nt need anything to keep him going.We tipped in fords and reloaded oranges back.On the way home i was driveing through lyon,an bob was trying to cook his breakfast on the engine cover going along,he would not stop for anything other than fuel.He was a real character i liked him cause he did,nt care about anything an he was a grafter.Bob retired a good few years ago now thats why i have named him,the other drivers from this company are still driveing and im sure they would back both these tales as the truth.
Chris Spence. (Spanner) was driving through the desert in a DAF during the first Gulf war, he said it was a clear day and he looked across and saw a Scud Missile coming towards him.
Without panicking he lowered both windows and tilted the seat back. The Scud passed straight through his cab and hit its target further along the road.
Im not sure whether this story should be in here because it is true
Anyone who knows Chris wil realise there is not enough room in a DAF cab for him and a Scud missil e
mechanic77:
The long haul, 1957? imdb.com/title/tt0050653/
Thanks Mechanic, that’s the one. Except for the Pennines I substituted for the Highlands of course.
Fancy me remembering the wagon though and forgetting Diana Dors. 
Spardo:
Well I once saw this Irishman loading pallets of tinned goods, 20 ton.
Couldn’t understand why his tyres were looking so flat - then I noticed the steel plate on the bed.No, really…
I remember years ago an Irish lad in the checkpoint at Crick.He had steel on the floor and meat hanging up in a fridge, His total weight was just under 60 ton.
Hi All,
Must post this story from my travels, and this is a true one !!
I was pulled at Dunkirk scales Canterbury on my way back from Berlin with a full load of non alcholic beer (sacriledge I know !!), I had an F10 4x2 with the then new 13.6 m tilt on, because I’d topped up the tanks in Zeebrugge, I was 1200 kgs over on my drive axle and got done for it, had to go to an haulage firm in Canterbury to get load shifted about.
While waiting for a police ■■■■■■ to take me there, an Irish 141 4x2 with Tri axle fridge was pulled in, the most cracking peice of kit you have ever seen, gleaming from front to back, anyway, they rolled him over the dynamic at 56,500 kgs, they pulled him to the side and read him the riot act and asked him to produce his tacho, which he did, I was standing next to the attending memeber of her majesty’s boys in blue at the time and could’nt beleive my eyes !!(and Ive done my share - but thats another story !!) - the tacho was completly black, on questioning, the driver stated that he only kept it in to keep the red light off on the head - as it irretated him while driving !!!
He then was asked to produce his licence, at which point, he selected one from a batch of 4 and said that they could use that one, me and the copper where starting to get the giggles at this point!!
He was asked by the ministry man where he had driven from last, he stated Naples, the reply was “no - where have you started from this morning” - “Naples came his reply, I started yesterday at 2 am, I need to catch the ferry in Stranraer tonight!!!”
The officer then cautioned him and asked him to wait in his truck, at this point he asked if they had finished checking everything and they replied, “Yes, you will now have to wait, while we sort out a court sitting tomorrow” - OK he said - See Yeh Then !! " and started the truck and drove away.
The ministry man had a dicky fit and started running after him, screaming to the copper to get on his bike and go after him. - The copper turned to him and said
“No way, there’s no point, I’ll radio on up to the boys in Essex and get them to stop him” !!!
Never saw the driver again, but boy, I had to admire is style !!
Regards
Ant